WONDER WOMAN VOL.1 #2 (1942)
by William Moulton Marston & Harry G. Peter
Unlike Superman and Batman, Wonder Woman covers are actually relevant to the story right from the beginning.
I’m reviewing this as part of the Villain origins retrospective, but this is not technically the first appearance of Ares. That happened in the first issue.
I could’ve reviewed Wonder Woman #1, but this is everything Ares does there:
And that’s it! He doesn’t even meet Wonder Woman in his first issue, so I’ll jump straight ahead to the second one.
And yes, the comic does use both Ares and Mars interchangeably. He was usually Mars in the Silver Age and Ares post-Crisis.
I’m going to call him Ares because his base of operations is literally on planet Mars (!!!), and it would make things confusing.
Speaking of the God of War himself, we begin Wonder Woman #2 with Ares in his adorable tank-shaped desk.
I get a feeling it’s going to be very hard to take this version of Ares seriously.
Wonder Woman giving us what I think is 1942 fanservice.
Wonder Woman tries to convince her love interest, war pilot Steve Trevor, from going away on a mission. It doesn’t work, so this makes things personal.
Apparently nobody can go to Mars unless they are chained up, and if THAT doesn’t sound like a job for Golden Age Wonder Woman, I don’t know what does.
She’s not flying to Mars, of course, that would be ridiculous. No, instead Aphrodite gives her a potion that will basically kill her!!!
Note that Wonder Woman “““friend””” Etta Candy has a framed picture of Wonder Woman in her bedroom, and that her reaction is “woo woo”.
“Wonder Woman is immediately chained” describes like 70% of her Golden Age stories.
Always remember: there is no subtext here, only text.
If we throw logic out of the window, this comic can be pretty funny. The ridiculous afterlife bureaucracy is not entirely unique but it’s still great.
You could see this coming up a mile away, yes, but it’s told competently.
There’s going to be a gladiatorial combat involving the strongest prisoners, because of course, and Ares deploys his three commanders: Conquest, Greed and Deception.
Okay I get Conquest, but Greed and Deception seem kind of off-topic for Ares.
The artwork sure isn’t doing these guys any favors.
“No man is going to spank me”. There is no subtext here, only text.
If you think the constant switch between Greek and Roman makes for a confusing mythology, that’s before Wonder Woman fights SATAN.
AMAZINGLY, Ares figures out that she’s an Amazon!!!
I seriously doubt this should work!!!
“Don’t be absurd, I wouldn’t beat you! Unless you’re into that kind of thing, of course!”
Wonder Woman rescues Steve Trevor from the dungeon, and they’re able to get back to Earth.
This concludes the first part of the story, but we begin the second one with Ares calling his lieutenants.
Because they were SO useful in the first part.
Case in point:
Man the 40s were hard on everybody. You would expect a god would have more than 1 million dollars for this. It’s just 16.9 millions in 2021 dollars!
This leads to Hitler biting the rug of his office, FOR SOME REASON.
The US receives a message about a secret meeting in Berlin, so Wonder Woman flies Steve there with her invisible plane… and she almost blows the entire mission.
For all the plot’s stupidity… and believe me, it gets VERY stupid… I actually really like the idea of Ares’ generals whispering ideas into the minds of mortals to influence them.
How come the topic of Superman interfering with WWII is always brought up, but we never mention the fact that Wonder Woman was THIS CLOSE to finishing off Hitler!?!?
Too bad an explosion prevents her from doing anything. It’s actually not very clear how this happens… this scene is in 1942 Berlin, so I doubt it’s the Allies dropping bombs.
We interrupt this comic about gods influencing World War II to bring you a college movie.
Wait, sorry, it’s actually a sports movie now!
We went from “stop Hitler from attacking America” to “help raising funds to save the college by playing baseball” within ONE PAGE, folks.
Only in the Golden Age.
I feel like Greed is losing sight of what Ares wants him to do. WTF does this have to do with spreading war!?
The first story where Wonder Woman faces Ares has a lengthy section dedicated to a baseball game. Let that sink in.
Then Wonder Woman is kidnapped and chained (I’ll give you a moment to recover from the shock) and imprisoned inside solid gold.
Honestly this makes more sense than the baseball game.
We interrupt this… whatever the hell THAT was… to bring you an episode of Scooby Doo.
And that was only part 2! You better believe there’s a part 3 that gets even sillier.
Deception turns himself into a copy of Wonder Woman. Better not think about it too much.
After the whole sports thing we return to our regular Wonder Woman story. Now with propaganda!
And casual racism!
Also: did 1942 war bond parties really include exotic dancers?
On second thought, don’t answer that.
Wonder Woman is arrested for the murder, and I’m glad that for once I’m not the only one having trouble with Golden Age lingo.
Turns out the one who died wasn’t the real dancer and Wonder Woman ends up being tied up.
I’ll understand if you need a moment to recover from the shock.
There is no subtext here, only text.
Ah, so THAT’S where the second panel comes from! I’ve seen it around as a meme, but it doesn’t make any more sense with context.
Wonder Woman manages to escape and then does a Wonder Woman.
Remember the whole Wonder Woman duplicate thing? Apparently the comic does NOW, after doing absolutely nothing with it earlier!
Although considering it’s used to turn annoying comic relief Etta Candy into a second Wonder Woman, maybe it’s not exactly for the best.
A reminder that Wonder Woman was the one complaining about incomprehensible slang.
At least according to dc.fandom.com, this is the first appearance of Hirohito.
(before you ask, no, Hitler had already appeared in Green Lantern)
You tied up the wrong Wonder Woman! When the real one finds out, she’s going to ask you to tie her up instead.
I WAS KIDDING!!!
The two girls team up to fight off Deception, and apparently this was a PSA against candy all along. (WTF!?)
Ares has three lieutenants and we’ve only seen three so far, so you better believe there’s a part 4!!!
Conquest’s “““plan””” is to convince Mussolini (in his first appearance) to send a giant nobleman against Wonder Woman.
A giant named Mammotha which, as an Italian myself, I can 100% guarantee you is not an actual Italian name.
These guys are all over the place.
Mammotha goes to America with a Spanish passport, while Conquest impersonates “Don Unaldi, born Count Crafti” and speaks with a stereotypical French accent.
Both Unaldi and Craft are somewhat believable Italian surnames, but this makes no sense… is Mammotha using the fake passport because of the war? If so, why isn’t the count doing the same!?
Despite the cliché, Superman changes clothes inside a phone booth very rarely. But here’s Wonder Woman doing the same, plus checking her makeup.
So of course:
Wonder Woman talks to the Count to get the prize money (she’s giving it up for charity), and GETS ELECTROCUTED.
There is no subtext here, only text.
I probably need to remind you that Wonder Woman loses her powers if she’s tied up by a man.
Doesn’t explain why that tends to happen every five pages.
However she’s rescued by Etta Candy (remember the elixir that sort of kills you? She uses it to get to Mars), and beats up the forces of Ares.
And after ALL THAT BUILDUP, we finally have our very first Wonder Woman vs Ares fight!
All three panels of it.
We end with Ares’ palace of iron catching fire (something so ridiculous that even the comic has to handwave it).
This comic is AMAZING.
Historical significance: 0/10
Ares is by far the most recurring Wonder Woman villain, but A) this particular adventure has no repercussions, and B) there’s absolutely nothing recognizable about him from a modern perspective.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
I was honestly tempted to give this a higher score, but even in the Silver Age they would’ve been far less blatant with the stereotypes.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
There are far, FAR worse Golden Age stories, but you would have to rewrite 99% of this comic to publish it today. Not to mention the artwork, which is not exactly great. And as you might have gathered from the length of the review, this is a looooong comic.
How close is this to the modern character? 0/10
A seamless transition. There are similarities: they are both called the God of War and… no that’s about it.
