FANTASTIC FOUR ANNUAL #3 (1965)
by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby
Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Girl are getting married: according to the first page, this is “the most sensational super-spectacular ever witnessed by human eyes”.
Dr. Doom is so unimpressed with it that he’s reading the back of the newspaper instead of the front page.
Also: I get that the marriage of two super-celebrities would make the front page, but that thing takes over almost the entire page!
For comparison, this is the first page of the New York Times for the news of the end of WWII:
Doom will not accept a waste of paper of this magnitude!
Okay, he’s actually mad at Reed Richards for being the only one who has defeated him.
Please don’t remind him that last time he was actually defeated by the Thing.
It’s because the Thing crushed his hands that he has to open doors with his foot and push buttons with his elbow. Doesn’t he have robots for that?
Also, his hands would probably heal faster if he took off those gloves.
Future retellings of these events will make the connection to his injuries far more clear, but it’s not explicitly stated in the original story.
(note: it’s actually in Fantastic Four 43. I missed it the first time and added the cameo later)
Since he can’t fight the Fantastic Four directly, he will instead use a High-Frequency Emotion Charger ™ that will allow the artist to draw a bunch of random action scenes mind control every single villain in the Marvel Universe to attack the Fantastic Four at once.
We then move to the wedding’s reception, where we get a bunch of cameos from Tony Stark in a hilarious top hat that would’ve been old fashioned in 1965…
…to the first appearance in the Marvel Universe proper of two characters that were appearing in a couple of rather successful romance comics published by Marvel at the time.
“Millie the model” will only make a few sporadic appearances, but Patsy Walker will be integrated into the Marvel Universe so much that her career as the superhero Hellcat completely eclipses her earlier non-superhero book.
Fantastic Four villain Puppet Master is in the crowd, using mind control to force a random guy to infiltrate the wedding.
It doesn’t work thanks to Nick Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D., which I guess is running brain scans on all guests.
Hilariously, the Puppet Master was actually under the influence of Doom’s machine.
Which means that Doctor Doom was mind controlling a guy to mind control a guy to poison his enemies.
There are over-complicated plans, and then there’s Doom.
We then have the Mole Man And His Mole Minions (which sounds like an awesome name for a rock band) fighting the original X-Men.
We also get the Red Ghost And The Super-Apes (another band name!) trying to attack the bride…
…and being banished into another dimension by Doctor Strange.
Kind of unfair to the apes, isn’t it?
It’s clear that there’s something behind all this, so Reed declares that they are on the alert.
Love Susan’s “what does it mean”, like it wasn’t clear from the start.
Doom is basically sending a telepathic message to all villains: “don’t miss the wedding”.
So now I have a mental image of dozens of villains rushing to the church with no intention to harm anyone, and then being confused when nobody believes they just want to watch the wedding.
The device is also explicitly sending EVERY villain to fight the FF, not just their regular enemies, including Thor’s enemy Grey Gargoyle…
…and people FROM THE FUTURE, like Avengers villain Kang the Conqueror.
With so many supervillains attacking, the Thing even suggests to postpone the wedding, which… while admittedly rude, doesn’t look like a bad idea at this moment.
Reed does the sensible thing, for once, and tells the guests that there’s going to be some delay.
Well, actually he asks HIS LAWYER to do that.
Who does that!? Is he worried that someone is going to sue the Fantastic Four because the wedding was a little late?
Actually, since this is the Marvel Universe, it’s actually quite plausible.
At this point any pretense of a plot goes off the window and we get several pages of random fights.
Highlights include Daredevil fighting Hydra agents…
…Spider-Man saving Hawkeye from being hit by a safe…
(that’s not a Kirby pose. It looks more like a cutout from a Steve Ditko drawing!)
…Iceman being blasted by FIVE villains (talk about overkill!)…
…a giant brawl featuring everyone versus everyone…
…and THE ENTIRE ATLANTEAN ARMY joining the fight.
A footnote informs us that Doom’s device couldn’t affect Namor since he’s too deep underwater.
So it can affect people IN THE FUTURE but water stops its effects!?
Sounds legit.
Il looks like we’re about to have an invasion to deal with… but remember when Daredevil was fighting Hydra a few pages ago?
Turns out he manages to drive the truck carrying their bomb right into the pier…
BLOWING UP THE ENTIRE ATLANTEAN INVADING FORCE.
So… yeah. Daredevil just murdered a whole bunch of people there.
I hope he knows a good lawyer.
That’s when the Watcher shows up, of all people. He’s an alien who is not allowed to interfere with mankind and therefore interferes every. Single. Time.
“The Watcher! But you’re not allowed to help us!”
“Dude, just shut up and let me end the issue”
We are then treated to one of Jack Kirby’s experimental collages which… and I hate to say this the second time in a row… really doesn’t work here.
The caption says that having a “simple exaggerated drawing” would be “the easy easy way out”… but isn’t that why you have Jack Kirby?
I mean, is that photo REALLY more impressive than Kirby’s drawing of the Watcher’s lab?
Also, the Watcher’s ethics continue to make no sense. He’s not allowed to explain to Reed how anything works, but he’s allowed to let him take whatever device he wants?
What if he chooses a weapon of unimaginable power?
Yes, kind of like that. How is THAT not interfering!?
Reed is returned to Earth, this time without the need for a weird collage.
What does the device do, exactly? It sends every villain home and erases their memories.
I think it’s called the Lazy Plot Device ™.
Reed theorizes that the only one who could be responsible for this attack is Dr. Doom.
Apparently the Lazy Plot Device ™ will erase Doom’s memory as well.
I wonder if it also resurrects the Atlanteans killed by Daredevil.
It probably does.
Well. Now that the plot is out of the way, we have a grand total of 2 panels to take care of the wedding.
And in the final scene of the issue, Lee & Kirby themselves are not allowed to attend the wedding of the characters they created.
That was a cute little scene.
Hilariously, Stan Lee will play himself in the movie “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer” where he’s not allowed to attend wedding of Reed and Susan. AGAIN.
Regretfully he doesn’t wear a top hat in that movie.
Historical significance: 5/10
Reed and Susan being married will, of course, have an enormous impact on the Marvel Universe. This story in particular, however?
It would probably just be a 3/10, but a couple of things (Patsy Walker’s formal introduction into the main universe and the establishment of the tradition of superhero weddings being crashed by a ton of supervillains) elevate it just slightly.
Doom significance: 0/10
I don’t know if Doom really does forget this story, but he certainly never mentions it again.
Silver Age-ness: 9/10
On the Marvel scale, of course. This is basically “who cares if it makes sense or not, just go with it” on steroids.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
The actual wedding is almost nonexistant. The story is basically a giant brawl and all villains are very generic, with no hint of characterization or depth.
Susan not joining the rest of the team when it’s time to fight the villains also hasn’t aged well.
It was a Doombot all along
No Doombots are used. It could be the original Doom, especially due to the injury to his hands.
Destroy the FF!
To date, one of the pettiest reasons to kill them.
Crazy tech
The High-Frequency Emotion Charger ™, which can summon people from the future and compel anyone to attack someone, would certainly qualify.
But you just can’t beat the Lazy Plot Device ™ which reverses the effect of the plot.