The Superman retrospective reaches the 80s, and its end is approaching.
Most of what’s left to cover is about Lex Luthor.
Action Comics #510 (1980)
by Cary Bates & Curt Swan
cover by Ross Andru
This is another potential redemption arc for Lex, and it seems like Superman doesn’t care for it.
We begin with Luthor threatening to crash the stock market in 1980.
He’s about 7 years early.
Now I’m not financial expert, but I don’t think stock market crashes are typically caused by LITERALLY crashing the place.
Amazing job, Superman, no notes.
Luthor’s master plan:
step 1) threaten to crash the stock market
step 2) somehow know this will lead Superman to search the area
step 3) somehow know he won’t notice there are two separate weapons
step 4) somehow be taken by surprise before a nearby building collapses, despite being able to fly faster than time
step 5) somehow know Superman’s super-senses won’t detect Luthor
step 6) kill Superman by shooting at him
What could POSSIBLY go wrong?
Lex Luthor is such a scumbag that the thought of avoiding unnecessary casualties is so alien to him that it causes an existential crisis.
Luthor obsesses over the woman who made him miss his shot, and he discovers her identity even if it means ignoring his robot barber.
He even manages to get a body scan of the woman, posing as a meter-man with the clever disguise of an afro and some moustaches.
That’s just ridiculous, he should’ve worn glasses.
I always find it fascinating when a comic clarifies in a caption the definition of a word that, in a modern comic, would just be assumed to be understood by anyone.
Luthor then offers a weapon capable of killing Superman to the highest bidder…
…which turns out to be a trap.
The Luthor making the bid is just a robot, and once Superman intervenes he discovers the truth…
…Luthor has reformed!
Lex Luthor also kidnapped the woman Superman saved to inform her that he’s not going to commit any new crimes.
Well, except for her kidnapping.
Turns out the reason why Luthor didn’t shoot the woman was that his Bald Sense was tingling.
The woman, Angela, is sick with what is obviously intended to be cancer but it’s called “DXS disease”. I believe they did this because it would’ve been weird for kids to read a comic where Luthor casually cures cancer.
Oh, yeah, I forgot: LEX LUTHOR JUST CASUALLY CURED CANCER.
Superman could have avoided soooooooo much trouble if only he ever realized Luthor is into bald women.
Lex, if things don’t work out between you and Angela, my I introduce you to Madame McEvil ?
Action Comics #511 (1980)
by Cary Bates & Curt Swan
cover by Ross Andru
You might want to ask Lex to reconsider, Superman. If he reforms you’ll be stuck fighting a minor villain who nobody ever cared for, and even worse you’ll have to fight Terra-Man.
Luthor is already going all-out. He’s transmitting from his “nefarium” to the entire world, including subtitles!
The transmission is also picked up by the alien Praxx, his sidekick Ulkro and Terra-Man.
Confusingly Terra-Man doesn’t show up yet, and Praxx… they guy with the moustache… looks enough like him that I initially thought HE was Terra-Man.
First Luthor good deed of the day: neutralize all nuclear weapons on the planet.
Second good deed: fix the ozone layer.
The third good deed is revealed after Superman meets Angela…
…and it confirms Luthor wasn’t boasting last time: he really did cure Legally Distinct Cancer.
In fact, we get an actual list of Luthor’s good deeds.
I sure hope they’re going in chronological order, since capturing some criminals is #1 and CURING CANCER is just #7.
It would certainly make sense in-universe: capturing the criminals was the first good deed we saw, and the cure is the last.
But it also means that the Earthquake Prediction Device™ was the second thing… Luthor had that thing ready to go before this whole thing started, didn’t he?
Refreshingly, Luthor isn’t instantly pardoned for his crimes. He WAS a convicted criminal after all, and while they’ve never gone into detail about what he was convicted for, I’m sure it was a lot.
Among the skeptics is Superman, who incapacitates Lex with a Kryptonian Nerve Pinch as soon as he tries to meet Angela.
(also: the quality of the scan is atrocious, but believe me the rain effect is quite good)
Turns out that Lex was even ready to turn himself in on the condition that Superman scans his brain.
…something he can apparently do only in the Fortress of Solitude?
Sounds legit. It’s not like Superman is friends with any other telepaths.
So… we’re never going to talk about Superman having a machine that can tell if you’re evil right?
This is where we get the fight with Praxx and Ulkro.
They’re boring and forgettable, and I yet I’d STILL prefer them over Terra-Man.
I know, I know, I’m unnecessarily hostile towards Terra-Man.
I still cannot stand him and you can’t make me take him seriously, not even if you give him Space Radioactive Tumbleweed.
I mean, ESPECIALLY if you give him Space Radioactive Tumbleweed.
Superman eventually takes down Terra-Man…
…and confirms Lex Luthor is 100% a good guy now.
Can’t wait to see how you screw this up, Superman.
Action Comics #512 (1980)
by Cary Bates & Curt Swan
cover by Ross Andru
Coming up: Superman screws this up.
Lex Luthor receives a full presidential pardon. And in an election year too!
Historically, and in contrast with Marvel, DC Comics didn’t shy away from depicting the actual president from real life at the time of publishing.
Since I refuse to believe that Curt Swan didn’t know how to draw Jimmy Carter, I assume it was a deliberate choice to do otherwise here.
Clearly the greatest news of 1980.
This is a historic moment: if I’m not mistaken, this is the first time we learn Lex Luthor’s FULL name!!!
For decades it was just “Lex”, which for all intents and purposes was his legal name, but this is where he’s specifically named Alexis.
The post-Crisis version, and most adaptations that bother to give a full name, go with Alexander instead.
It must be weird for those who watched Smallville, but Lex Luthor being friends with Clark Kent since high school was canon for decades while simultaneously doing absolutely nothing with it.
Superman and the bride are teleported away at the reception.
Luthor is then kidnapped by his own robots.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, is when this comic goes absolutely bonkers.
Yes.
NOW.
Because the robots inform Lex of his own plan and… get comfortable, because it’s A LOT.
Step 1) find a woman who matches Lex’s ideal for a mate
Step 2) clone the woman and insert a detonator inside the clone
Step 3) transfer the woman’s memories into the clone
Step 4) euthanize the woman (!!!!)
Step 5) put the clone in danger
Step 6) give yourself amnesia
Step 7) rescue the clone, who inherited the original’s disease
Step 8) cure the clone’s illness
Step 9) fall in love with the clone
Step 10) go straight for a while
Step 11) marry the woman
Step 12) wait for Superman to kiss the bride
Step 13) the clone’s kiss teleports Superman into A PHANTOM ZONE MADE OF ANTI-MATTER.
But it turns out Superman was NOT really exiled (we’ll see shortly why), and he’s understandably QUITE mad at the fact that Luthor killed the original Angela.
And… yeah I have to agree with Superman here, that was one of the worst things Lex has ever done.
Because in case you missed it: HE COULD HAVE CURED THE ORIGINAL.
The way Superman discovered it was a trick doesn’t make a whole lot of sense: when he analyzed Luthor’s brain, SOMEHOW he detected that Luthor had forgotten his previous marriage.
That’s a wholly unnecessary detail since he noticed the detonators inside the clone’s body anyway.
The reason why Superman played along, on the other hand, is VERY good: he was hoping the original Angela was still alive and trying to get to the truth.
And to allow insult to injury: Luthor’s plan worked so well that Superman can’t access the dimension where he exiled the clone. So not only he truly fell in love, he also exiled his wife into another dimension after killing her original body.
Historical significance: 0/10
This should play into Lex’s upcoming crash, but he’s going to deal with an even bigger tragedy.
Silver Age-ness: 6/10
Despite Lex ultimately coming across as more evil than his classic self, there’s plenty of Silver Age tropes around.
Does it stand the test of time? 7/10
This one ALMOST worked. Let’s start with the positives: that is one brutal ending!
Lex really comes across as a complete monster… despite the fact that his redemption was simultaneously sincere, since he doesn’t remember he has ulterior motives. What a fascinating contrast, and Superman’s attitude is just chilling here.
It does have some issues though. The action would be laughable even with a better villain than Terra-Man, and it’s clearly there just to pad the story.
But there’s also the fact that Angela, despite being a perfect match for Lex and making him fall in love so hard that he becomes a good guy… doesn’t actually do anything throughout the story.
She doesn’t have an ounce of personality, to the point that you can truly come to the conclusion that Lex is in love with her exclusively because she’s bald.
The ending makes you simultaneously despite and pity Lex Luthor, which is QUITE the accomplishment, but it really does come out of nowhere.