Season 1, Episode 7: “Brain drain”
Written by Rob Hummell
Directed by Tim Maltby
Original release: February 3rd, 2007
Running time: 22 minutes
Air time: Saturday morning
I distinctly remember that this was my least favorite episode from Season 1. Will the years change my mind?
Also, while it was produced as the 9th episode, it was aired as the 7th which is why I’m reviewing it first.
We begin with the Legion being worried that Brainiac 5 has been stuck in the lab for the longest time.
Specifically, he’s been busy building a holding cell…
…for himself.
So what’s going on? Basically, every 3 years Coluans (misspelled by the subtitles) go full Borg.
And if you think I’m stretching the comparison…
If you’ve seen the episode, you know just how right he is.
Although it takes a while to get there.
But after 7 in-universe hours, Brainy goes nuts.
As do the subtitles, because I’m pretty sure he’s saying “where’s my Koko” here… but that would only be understood by Reboot readers (and for issues I haven’t reviewed yet).
He even does a little dance number!
Not the worst Legion dancing, though.
(I did promise I would keep referencing this panel, didn’t I?)
We also have a surprising throwback to Adventure Comics #344.
But when the procedure is supposed to be over, the system is overloaded and the whole lab explodes.
And five minutes into the episode, we have the setup: Brainiac 5’s brain has been fried.
Nothing that a healthy dose of McGuffium won’t solve.
And the only place where you can get it is Timber Wolf’s planet, the consistently misspelled Zuun.
Brainy is not excited by the idea of going there.
Zuun is so far away that the only way to get there is a Legally Distinct Stargate.
Yeah this thing is not exactly safe.
Timber Wolf and Superman go through the gate without problems. Brainiac 5 though…
The transporter has malfunctioned: now Brainiac 5 has lost his body and Superman his powers.
There’s no time waiting for the teleporter to get fixed: Brainiac 5 has only so much time…
…until he gets so aggressively unfunny that they will be forced to leave him behind.
Don’t get too excited to see Timber Wolf’s home planet.
Actually, it just raises MORE questions, Timber Wolf!
Is the whole planet like this? Is it abandoned? Your father was a famous scientist, not a miner, so did you grow up with these guys?
It’s not like it couldn’t make sense… the air is so toxic that it creates mutations, so his father COULD have been inspired by this to do his research.
But Timber Wolf is so out of focus throughout the episode that nothing is really explored.
This turns into, what else, a big dumb fight.
This is the first time Superman ends up using the Flight Ring, which makes me wonder… has Superboy EVER used the ring to fly? I can’t even remember moments when he did because he lost his powers.
I had a memory about this episode being REALLY annoying with all the Brainiac 5 non-sequiturs.
And I was right.
Will the B-plot salvage this? Well it’s about Saturn Girl and Lightning Lad looking for the rest of Brainy’s body, which has been sent to a different planet where it just runs around and breaks stuff.
So no, the B-plot is not going to salvage this.
Lightning Lad is often the butt of the joke in this season, but… HOW CAN YOU DISAGREE?
His attempt to short-circuit Brainy’s body just activates his battle mode.
Meanwhile Timber Wolf isn’t able to escape to the underground levels… because Brainiac 5 closes the doors to the elevator with his prehensile tongue.
Well I guess now we know why Supergirl likes him.
(I know, I know, I’m twelve)
Seriously, Brainiac 5 is my favorite Legionnaire and even I want him to JUST SHUT UP.
Eventually Superman and Timber Wolf (who managed to ditch the miners) travel down to the core where the McGuffium is being extracted by robots.
And after a Big Dumb Spider Fight…
…Superman ends up borrowing a mech suit for evening the odds.
Sadly, not the worst look Brainiac 5 has had over the years.
And if you’re wondering, surely there must be SOME reason for why Brainy put his head on one of the spider robots… yeah this episode is not so great on logic.
Superman does everything he can to finally bring Brainiac 5 to the McGuffium…
…and it works, restoring Brainy’s mind.
As for the rest of his body, the conclusion of the B-plot is that it was captured with some rope.
In the epilogue, Brainiac 5 explains to Superman why he lost his powers on Zuun.
Look, I fully agree that the Legion shouldn’t tell Superman EVERYTHING he will eventually learn on his own… but what damage to history could they POSSIBLY cause by telling him to avoid planets with a red sun?
You probably think this is setting up Superman discovering Brainiac 5 has withheld information about Kryptonite, as seen in previous episodes.
It won’t and this entire angle is dropped.
Animated significance: 0/10
Despite the OBVIOUS setup, it’s not followed through.
Does any of this show up in regular continuity?
Zuun is one of the most boring planets in the Legion universe, and even then it’s not THIS boring.
Silver Age-ness: 6/10
Main character is affected by vaguely defined science stuff into acting like an idiot.
Does it stand the test of time? 4/10
Ugh. I’ll be honest, the whole reason I’m doing a second review of the series so soon is that I really, REALLY wanted to leave this episode behind.
It’s the worst of Season 1, and by a long shot. There is another episode that is generally not well received, but that one runs circles around this mess.
There are potential good ideas… the Coluan hive mind, the transporters, Timber Wolf’s homeworld… and NONE of it gets explored in the slightest.
Is the braindead Brainy supposed to be funny? Because I just found him annoying.
We don’t really learn anything about him, or Superman, or Timber Wolf, except maybe Superman noticing that Brainy keeps secrets to himself? Something the audience already knows, and that is addressed LITERALLY IN THE LAST MINUTE of the episode.
Next time I rewatch the series, this one is going straight into the “skip this one” pile.
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