Secret Origins v2 #46 (1989)
by Gerard Jones & Kurt Shaffenberger
The story featuring Arm-Falls-Off Boy we saw wasn’t supposed to exist.
The original story provided a completely different origin for the Legion Clubhouse; it was completely drawn and inked… but rejected by the editor, and a new one was made.
The full story is available from Tom Brevoort’s blog, which is also where some backstory is provided and which I’ll talk about after the review.
It’s a pity that this story wasn’t published because it features some of the last work Kurt Shaffenberger did for DC Comics; in fact, had this been published, it might have been the last Superman-adjacent thing he ever drew.
The story begins with an attempt to stop a rocket headed for Earth, with the authorities unable to stop it or even to damage it.
The rocket is headed straight for a historic location: the exact place where Superman’s rocket landed on Earth!
Oddly enough, this is the only story I can think of where the spot is memorialized; typically whenever we see places from Superman’s history that are remembered in the 30th century, it’s the just the Kent house.
It’s a pity that the story was never colored. Not just because it would have helped Shaffenberger’s artwork, but because I really want to know what this guy looks like.
You can tell that this story isn’t taking itself too seriously.
“A few years later”, the newly formed Legion of Super-Heroes lands in Smallville. Like MOST retellings of the origin story, they have their traditional costumes and not the ones they wore in Adventure Comics #247.
The continuity placement of this would have been awkward to say the least.
In the post-Crisis continuity Superman was no longer Superboy, so at the time the Superboy the Legion knew should have been the one from the Pocket Universe retcon… except there’s ALSO a legend about Superman having been Superboy too?
Don’t be fooled by the looks, this is not the same 30th century Smallville we are used to… it BARELY recalls Superboy, much to the Legion’s dismay.
Solid puns, though.
(for the Legion uninitiated: Imsk and Bismoll are Shrinking Violet and Matter-Eater Lad’s planets respectively) 
Several stories already introduced the idea that the Legion wasn’t taken too seriously until they recruited Superboy, but I think this is going a bit too far.
Also, what the heck is happening with Marla’s chest symbol???
The rocket landed in Smallville about ten years before the Legion was founded.
The Legionnaires don’t have exactly the highest opinion of the guy taking care of the rocket.
Thankfully Saturn Girl has an idea. You can definitely tell what Shaffenberger really wanted to draw because isn’t that one of the best closeups of her you’ve ever seen?
So a big spectacle is made of the Legion attempting to open the rocket, something nobody has been able to do for the past ten years… and the boys blow it.
Nobody seems to care about Saturn Girl. What is she going to do, read the locking mechanism’s mind?
YES.
The rocket’s crash created a huge cavern beneath it. The implication is that the cavern was where the full Legion headquarters will be created.
Despite the rocket being large enough to carry several people… remember that’s the size of a small building… it has some interesting cargo.
As you probably guessed by the initial pages, turns out the rocket came from Krypton.
But what’s the story behind the rocket? Something that, had this story been published, would have been the silliest thing DC Comics had done in decades.
You.
Are.
Not.
Ready.
For.
It.
Yes.
After sending his son away from Krypton, Jor-El had A SECOND ROCKET AS BIG AS A BUILDING to go after him… and instead of sending HIMSELF AND HIS WIFE, he just sent toys and diapers!!!!
Sounds legit.
R.J.Brande ends up buying the rocket of course, helped by a not-so-subtle threat by the Legion.
And yes, as implied earlier, this means MOST of what we considered the headquarters were underground.
Also, how is Saturn Girl flying considering this is WAY earlier than the creation of the Flight Ring™ and she doesn’t have an anti-gravity belt?
And the rocket would serve as the Legion’s headquarters until it was heavily damaged by the Fatal Five in Adventure Comics #366.
That’s all well and good, but if this HAD been published as the official origin of the original headquarters… the idea that the Legion would just abandon Superboy’s second rocket in a scrapyard strains credulity.
And even THEN it wouldn’t have been in the top three dumbest things this story would have done!
Legion significance: 0/10
Naturally, as this wasn’t even published.
Silver Age-ness: 5∞/10
Had this been published, it would’ve been one of the silliest things ever done with Superboy… WHICH IS SAYING SOMETHING. Admit it, that finale is so insane that you forgot this is the same story where Saturn Girl mind-reads a lock!
Depression scale: 1/10
Since this was published during the 5YL era, it still couldn’t escape some depressing implications… like the fact that Superman’s legacy is largely ignored by the public and one of the very last remnants of the civilization of Krypton is a cheap tourist attraction.
Then again, their lead scientist wasted a rocket with diapers instead of using it to save himself and his wife, so I’m not exactly sad about losing THIS version of Krypton.
Does it stand the test of time? 2/10
Normally I wouldn’t do this, being unpublished… but it IS a complete story in everything but the coloring, so I think it’s fair.
And… yeah I can see why it was scrapped. The story doesn’t make any sense and the Legion doesn’t come off as particularly competent, aside from ONE scene with Saturn Girl… which unfortunately ALSO makes no sense.
The only real loss is the artwork.
Ty Templeton, who inked the story, actually commented Tom Brevoort’s blog in 2021 and provided some valuable insight.
Answering the allegation that the story wasn’t published because of the editorial mandate because it referenced Superboy as a member of the Legion, Templeton has some interesting commentary.
My memory for the reason the original story got cancelled is different from this version. What I recall was that while I was inking the first story I couldn’t get past the preposterous idea that the second rocket (about five stories tall) was too “flimsy” to carry the family, and was passed over for a teeny rocket that could only carry a baby? So Jor-el had TWO functioning rockets– the second one he didn’t even try to use to save his wife — but what the heck, let’s load it with toys and diapers at a leisurely pace just for shits and giggles?!? It simply strained at suspension of disbelief so terribly the story fell apart.
TY TEMPLETON
I see that in addition to being a writer, an artist, an inker and a letterer, Templeton also has QUITE the talent for snarky reviews!
He also provides some additional information:
I discussed it with Mark at the time, and we landed on the story being as flimsy as the fictional rocket itself. That’s my recollection as to why there was a second script commissioned. It was the idea Jor-el wouldn’t have put Lara in the second rocket.
TY TEMPLETON
And finally just an incredibly wholesome finale.
But…From my point of view I was thrilled, as I got to ink TWO Legion stories over TWO legendary Silver Age artists. I wish the Kurt one was coloured and printed properly, as the poor scans you see on the internet don’t do the line-work justice, silly as the story was. My kids’ favourite super-hero is Arm-Fall-Off Boy, though, and it makes them proud I was involved in his creation, as he’s seen originally in the second story and I think I still have the original for it in a box somewhere. I know Waid has the last page of this story, as I gifted it to him when Curt Swan died.
TY TEMPLETON