Anniversary Countdown #6: Spider-Man 194

Last issue of the regular Spider-Man series in the retrospective. But don’t worry, it will still be spiders all the way down.

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L’Uomo Ragno #194 (1977)
Published by: Corno

The title cover translates to “The hundred meters of death”, an interesting change from the original “The deadliest hundred yards”.
I guess a more precise “The 91.44 meters of death” would’ve been too wordy. Maybe they’re just “of death” and not “deadliest”.
The balloon translates to “Stop him! He must not escape alive!”, a good translation but which weirdly skips the “webslinger” nickname.

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Amazing Spider-Man #153 (1972)
by Len Wein & Ross Andru
cover by Gil Kane & John Romita

Also I’m not a fan of the original cover giving a summary of the plot!!!

We begin with Spider-Man answering an SOS from a cab.
Because I guess whoever hijacked the cab won’t mind the driver fidgeting with the lights.

I would question what the driver hoped to accomplish from this, but… he’s in Marvel New York City, it’s not a stretch to believe at least ONE superhero spots you.

He might have second thoughts, though.

Up to this point in the restrospective, the scenes about Peter Parker’s life have been relatively few.
But now we follow him as he goes back to college.

Yeah, uhm, things aren’t going well with Mary Jane: him constantly ditching her for hero missions is really annoying her.
Since the 80s will reveal that she’s always known Peter is Spider-Man, it’s always fun to check older comics to see if the retcon works.
I think it does: she may know he’s Spider-Man while still A) being annoyed ditches her B) being annoyed he doesn’t admit he’s Spider-Man.

For reference, we are about 3 years after Gwen Stacy died. But her clone was hanging around recently… this is just TWO issues after the epilogue of the original Clone Saga.

Why do I get the impression that the Marvel editors who hate this relationship stopped at this panel?

I just can’t wrap my head around why people wouldn’t want her to be in a Spider-Man comic.
This is honestly the only fictional love story I deeply care about.

I have never heard the expresssion “the rain will get the rhubarb wet”.
And neither did the translator, since they translate it as “do you think it will rain?”.
Is that an actual idiom?

But then supporting cast member Ned Leeds interrupts by reminding us there’s supposed to be a plot.
Considering American football is virtually unknown in Italy outside of pop culture osmosis, I guess it’s not too surprising that the translation calls him “a soccer champion or something”.
They also drop the mention of a homecoming.

The plot revolves about a former football star that turned into a computer scientist, making for an unusual contrast between the topic and the place. Something the comic acknowledges.
Also that’s not particularly surprising to have someone like this in superhero comics, where most super-geniuses have the physique of an Olympic athlete.

I’ve always loved that shot of Mary Jane alone in the stadium.

I don’t know anything about American football (sorry but I can’t just call it “football” or I would lose my Italian citizenship), so those goalposts looked just fine to me.
But I I’ve seen other reviews of this comic point out that, if this guy is supposed to have played in the 50s, then the goalposts would have looked different.

The translation doesn’t even attempt to explain American football and just talks about rugby.

After an entire page recapping his last game… a page that I don’t think I’ve ever managed to finish reading and still bores me to death today… the only important thing is that he stopped playing.

We also learn about his wife Ellen and his daughter Hostage.

We soon learn that his daughter have been kidnapped by some criminals, who want him to deliver an important computer part.
There’s a reference to an ungoing Daredevil storyline, but the note is missing from the translation.

The criminal is a real psycho.

Honestly I didn’t really care for the main story: I was far more interested to see what was going on with Peter’s life.
And I think you can see why MJ is annoyed with him, considering the FIRST thing he does at the party is ditch her to talk business.

And I would’ve been on Peter’s side if this was something urgent, but he just wants to talk about the fact that the computer scientist seemed a bit off last time he saw him.

But considering nothing is happening, he can go back to his date.

You’re not a hardcore Spider-Man fan if you don’t know that “Kung Fu Fighting” is Peter and Mary Jane’s song… according to HER.
Hey, if she’s into him she must also be crazy!

But when the computer scientist starts to leave, the Spider-Sense starts tingling.
Which is NOT HOW THAT’S SUPPOSED TO WORK.
Peter, are you SURE the Spider-Sense is telling you “don’t ditch her again or she’ll cut your webshooters”?

He did have a correct hunch, though, because the computer scientist is delivering the device to the criminals in exchange for his daughter.

Who could’ve thought the bird-killing guy could not be trusted.

Okay I get that hitting a moving target is hard, but this is ridiculous.

But they DO manage to hit him, after he’s caught his daughter.

There’s a parallel between him holding on to his daughter no matter how much they try to get her away, and an earlier scene where he was doing the same with the football.

I have a much easier time believing Spider-Man can avoid gunfire like this.

Spider-Man has to restrain himself from pummeling this psycho…

…but screw that guy.

And so we end with the former football star making one last touchdown before he dies.

If only Peter had managed to ditch Mary Jane a little earlier.
Wait, is THAT why editors are against her???

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Historical significance: 0/10
I’m probably the only person in the world with an attachment to this story. Well, and “Kung Fu Fighting” superfans I guess!
I could swear I’ve seen at least ONE comic book reference that as Peter and MJ’s song, but I can’t figure out which.

Personal significance: 8/10
I didn’t really care for the main plot, but I was utterly fascinated by Peter’s life. Considering all previous issues didn’t give either Gwen or MJ a lot to do, this was probably the closest look at his love life I had.

Silver Age-ness: 0/10
Not really.

Does it stand the test of time? 8/10
This is way better than I remember! I still don’t care in the slightest about American football, and the former athlete turned scientist isn’t particularly complex, but it’s still a very effective tragedy.
It’s also notable to see that Mary Jane is not being unreasonable in her being annoyed at Peter, considering he really DOES keep ditching her at the first chance he gets.

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Incredible Hulk #182 (1974)
by Len Wein & Herb Trimpe

We are definitely in the full “Hulk Smash” era now. This will be the last time the Jade Giant will show up in the retrospective.

This issue is immediately after the debut of Wolverine!

I completely forgot he was in this!!! Then again, he’s only in three panels and then leaves.

Considering Wolverine just failed, do they seriously whink Canadian Commandos will do the job?

Well they should, because they’re shockingly effective!!!

Granted it’s for less than half a page before the Hulk escapes, but still impressive.

But after jumping around a bit… based on later panels he’s back in the United States… the Hulk runs into a homeless guy playing “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen”.

This is Crackajack Jackson, and you will find it impossible not to love him.

Not only he immediately befriends Hulk, he’s the first person to offer him beans… something he’ll develop a fondness for.

I’m not kidding. The Hulk loooooooves beans.
Cue the bean montage beantage!

Meanwhile a couple of convicts are escaping from prison: a black guy nicknamed “Hammer” and a white racist literally called Anvil.

During their escape, they run into an extremely weird-looking alien.

Who heals by being shot!!!

And to thank his rescuers, he replaces their regular chain with a sci-fi one.

Which has the additional advantage of granting them super-strength.

The alien simply leaves; we don’t learn what happened to this particular guy.
His species, the Glx, has some occasional appearances (most likely due to their unique look).
Little known fact, but the same species responsible for giving powers to Hammer & Anvil is also responsible for the powers of the West Coast Avenger Firebird.

But back to the wholesome friendship between Hulk and Crackajack Jackson.

He also teaches the Hulk how to use a fork!

Well… he tries to anyway.

He’s more successful with his writing lessons.

See? I told you that you’d love Crackajack!

The reason why Crackajack has been wandering is that he’s trying to reconnect with his son, who is currently in prison.

And his son IS in prison… because his son is Hammer, who is currently attacking the prison for revenge.

Yeah despite his wholesomeness… Crackajack has a dark past.

And he makes the mistake of touching the new alien chain, which kills him instantly.

Try guessing how the Hulk feels about this.

They didn’t kill Crackajack on purpose, so they might be able to get out of this by reasoning with Hulk… if only Hammer & Anvil had more than two brain cells. Shared between them.

Hammer & Anvil are typically considered little more than a joke, but they are QUITE powerful!!!

But, you know. IT’S THE HULK.

The chain was providing a psychic link, so Hammer & Anvil are driven insane by this.

And so we end with the Hulk bringing Crackajack’s body outside the prison…

…and buries him.

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Historical significance: 1/10
The origin of the Hulk’s fondness for beans.
On a more serious note, Hammer & Anvil show up here and there over the years… but they get so little respect they’re uncerimoniously killed by the Scourge Of The Underworld in 1986’s Marvel Fanfare #29. At least they get to be drawn by John Byrne.

Personal significance: 9/10
This is how I picture the Hulk in his “Hulk Smash” years, and I have a fondness for Crackajack.

Silver Age-ness: 10/10
An alien who heals when he’s shot just happens to run into criminals name Hammer and Anvil who not only are already chained, but the alien just happens to have the right type of technology needed to turn into a superpower.

Does it stand the test of time? 8/10
Goofiness aside, it holds up better than I expected. Not the best writing the Hulk will ever get, by a long shot, but you really do feel his friendship with Crackajack.
And while Hammer & Anvil are barely characters, at least the interaction between Hammer and his father feels genuines. They weirdly don’t do anything with Anvil being a racist besides mentioning it a couple of times.
Trimpe’s artwork is somewhat infamous and it gets VERY rough at several points during the run, but I think he’s pretty good in this one.

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Daredevil #128 (1975)
by Marv Wolfman & Bob Brown
cover by Gil Kane

This is also Daredevil’s last appearance in this retrospective.
He used to have his own regular series published by Corno, but it ran into a problem: the Corno books were published twice a month, and Daredevil was a monthly title.
It took a while for the Corno series to catch up with the original series, but once they did they moved the series to a backup feature on Spider-Man.

Daredevil is not having a good time lately.

The reason is pretty interesting, as he’s realizing the impact superhero fights have on the lives of regular people.

Matt Murdock is dating Heather Glenn in this period.

You might remember Heather because in 1985 she will commit suicide in the O’Neil & Mazzuchelli run, after a long period of instability and… well there’s no way to sugarcoat it, after years of emotional abuse from Matt Murdock.
There were a few signs that it wasn’t exactly a healthy relationship as early as 1975, impressive considering that she debuted only two issues earlier.

Meanwhile a mysterious figure approaches some rockets.

Considering this character’s deal… we’ll talk about him later… it’s absolutely hilarious that he needs suction cups to climb the rocket.

But he’s not the only supervillain in this story, because we also have Death-Stalker committing some crimes.

I’m not even trying to consider how I could possibly summarize Death-Stalker. Just consider that he’s SO unnecessarily complicated that I’m giving up talking about him.

It’s a pity I could never get into Death-Stalker. He has an undeniably killer design, but he’s just all over the place.

There’s also a subplot about Foggy’s career: he’s District Attorney in this period.
It is is kind of funny that Daredevil of all people is able to identify a villain based on his description.

This is where the story ended for me. The rest continued in an issue I didn’t have.

Which is a real crime because it means I wasn’t exposed by one of the craziest characters in Marvel Comics… the Sky-Walker.

Who is an alien born on Earth and who wants to return to his planet.
I don’t have to explain why Daredevil is the best series for this concept.

And his entire deal is that he’s going back to his planet… BY WALKING.

THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING.

Who cares about Death-Stalker attacking Daredevil with a weapon using mirrors from Atlantis at this point!!!

You guys are completely ignoring the man who’s trying to go to another solar system ON FOOT!!!

In fact the ONLY contribution of Sky-Walker to this entire plot is providing a platform for the Daredevil and Death-Stalker fight!!!

The two insane technologies are not compatible with each other, and Death-Stalker disappears.

And we end with Sky-Walker continuing his journey.

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Historical significance: 0/10
We get Sky-Walker’s name from the next issue, where he doesn’t even appear.

Sky-Walker has exactly TWO appearances: this one and Quasar #16 in 1990, where we learn he’s been imprisoned by the Stranger.
And even then it’s just a cameo among other forgotten aliens.

Personal significance: 0/10
I have absolutely no recollection of reading this one. Then again, the best part was not in the issue I read!

Silver Age-ness: 1,886,000,000 / 10
An alien born on Earth decides to go back to his planet by walking.
The average walking speed of an adult man is about 5 kilometers per hour (301 kmh). Assuming his planet orbits Proxima Centaury (the closest star to Earth), it would take him about 943 million years to get there.
Considering his only involvement in the plot is interfering with the plan of a guy who is using mirrors from Atlantis as a weapon… let’s double that number.

 Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
Despite his unnecessarily complicate origins Death-Stalker is a cool villain, but his plan is way too out of left field for Daredevil to work.
And that’s not even talking about Sky-Walker… what the heck was he doing here???
Well, we have a direct quote.

The sky walker was going to lead into DDs first real SF story. I felt DD needed something more than I was giving him. I was never very happy with my DD–I never found the thing that made him mine the way Frank Miller did a year or two later. So I was trying to find things to do that interested me and therefore, I hoped, the readers. Ultimately, I couldn’t find anything that made DD unique to me and asked off the title. Fortunately, Frank Miller came in after me and rejuvenated the title.
MARV WOLFMAN

People who know only the post-Miller Daredevil can sometimes complain that the pre-Miller Daredevil is a bad character. While I thoroughly disagree, even as a fan of the Miller run… the 70s were rought on Daredevil.