LOIS LANE #55 (1965)
“Lois Lane’s College Scoops” by Leo Dorfman & Kurt Schaffenberger
“Superman’s Secret Wife!” by Otto Binder & Kurt Schaffenberger
Admit it, you would not be surprised to find out this really happened.
But first: a story of Lois when she was attending Raleigh College!
You can see how she learned her journalism ethics, since this is what happened when she was writing for the school’s paper.
I don’t know anything about fencing, but somehow I doubt this is a legitimate training technique.
Young Lois is competing with Pete Ross, Superboy’s friend, and she happens to win.
Except she didn’t actually win. Get this: Pete Ross just happened to hide a piece of Kryptonite inside the suit (!!!) and convinced Superman to put it on!
I mean… did Pete just forget he put the Kryptonite there!?
Also, note that Superman isn’t Superboy anymore. There’s conflicting stories about when he changed the name; most of the time he doesn’t become Superman until after he’s finished college.
And NOBODY noticed the piece of rock falling off during the match!?!?
But college Lois has another story: that time she had to write a story about an observatory, which was blocked by a thick fog. Her solution: arson!
And that’s how the Lois Lane Comet was discovered!
But we can’t have Lois accomplishing something on her own, now, can we?
Superboy’s solution involves the same cloud of Red Kryptonite that once caused a sex change in his dog.
Sadly Superman doesn’t use it to change sex himself.
But Lois had a third scoop that didn’t involve Superman.
Only in the Silver Age this would just be a curiosity in the school’s paper!
Superman is just making up fake stories to take away the glory, isn’t he?
Well considering his story is based on breaking the rules on how Red Kryptonite is supposed to work… yeah. He’s making this up as he goes along.
At least Superman doesn’t try his lame stories on Lois, since he’s satisfied with the adoration from Jimmy.
Our next story begins with Lois under Circe’s spell.
All Circe wants is to make Lois miserable. So I expect to eventually see her in the credits.
Circe disappears and the cave collapses, but Lois is saved by Supergirl.
Later, Lois finds out that Superman is carving a gigantic valentine card from a mountain. (???)
Lois suspects Lana Lang to be Superman’s secret wife, because of course she does.
Okay that’s LITERALLY stalking, Lois.
She even suspects her own sister!
Except it turns out that Lucy has taken up modeling.
The third suspect is perennial side-chick Lori Lemaris. She’s actually married, but hey, why not wonder how she would react if she became a widow?
Turns out that Lori has kids, however! From what I can tell, this is the ONLY Silver Age story where she has children.
However this actually “proves” that Superman has a secret wife, thanks to the tag he left on the presents to Lori’s children.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is when the story goes completely and utterly insane.
Yes. NOW it gets weird.
How weird? SUPERGIRL is Superman’s wife!
And she wants to murder Lois Lane!!!
Wait, WHAT!?
Freaking Red Kryptonite…
You’re surprisingly chill about the fact that SHE JUST TRIED TO MURDER YOU, Lois!!!
Historical significance: 0/10
Like I said, we will never see Lori’s kids again.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Naturally, as both stories are dependent on Red Kryptonite. Bonus points for directly referencing the most Silver Age story of all time!
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
The idea to show Lois during her college years can work, but the idea that she couldn’t do anything without Superman’s help… yeesh. And the second story is just mean-spirited.
Stupid Lois Lane moment
First story: you know what? She gets out of this without a stupid moment. It’s a stupid story, but this time it’s not her fault!
Second story: I get being suspicious of Lana and Lori, but Lucy? Seriously!?