Random thoughts: weirdest family

For no particular reason, I wonder: which is the weirdest family in superhero comics?
I already have the answer in mind, but as always let’s try not to be completely arbitrary about this by establishing some rules.

• Superheroes are worth +1 points
• Supervillains are worth +2 points (because they’re rarer than heroes)
• Civilians are worth +0.5 points. They’re not weird, but this counts towards helping the more numerous families. They only count if they play an important part, though.
• Civilians who have superpowers (unless it’s just for a single plot) who are not superheroes are worth +1 as if they were superheroes. The same applies if they have no powers but are basically superheroes in everything but name.
• Civilians have played a significant role in the past and disappeared, or who SHOULD logically play SOME part and they’re forgotten, are worth -1 points as punishment for wasting story potential.
• For the same reason, superheroes and civilians with powers who are basically never used are worth -2 points because that’s just worse.
• Supervillains who are technically part of the family but are never really treated as such are worth -3 points because that’s the real crime.
• Anything “weird” is worth an additional +1 point. Time travelers, aliens, robots, clones and so on just elevate the weirdness. These are ON TOP of the other categories if they apply.

Also, since the multiverse stuff would make this too complicated to follow, I’m sticking to a particular version of the character. But, if an alternate version of a family member spends a sufficient amount of time with the cast, it’s still counted.
Yes, this will require counting some people more than once. It’s weird.
And this is all just for fun so I definitely left out someone, don’t take this too seriously.

---

FANTASTIC FOUR

What better place to start than with THE superhero family?

We have Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Woman and her brother Human Torch (+3 superheroes), but Franklin is a super civilian (+1) and Valeria is basically a superhero (+1).
However the Valeria that joins the cast is canonically the reincarnation of the stillborn baby that Susan lost during the Byrne run, which is worth an additional +1 weirdness point.
We’re already at a total 6 points, but let’s get a bit deeper by extending the family.

Susan and Johnny’s father, Franklin Storm, plays a part in the 60s (+0.5).
They also have an unusually tall cousin nicknames “Bones” that runs a circus, who we only saw in Fantastic Four #61 and never heard from again!!!
Since I can’t believe he hasn’t been involved in a plot about the Circus of Crime, that’s -1 point for an unused civilian.

But what is going to really increase the weirdness is Reed’s father, the time-traveling Nathaniel Richards. We actually have TWO versions of him, the one from the DeFalco run and the one from the Hickman run: they’re both future versions of Nathaniel that interact extensively with the family, and they’re different enough to be considered separate characters.
The DeFalco version is a supervillain though (+2 points and +1 weirdness), the Hickman one is just a time-travel adventurer (+1 and +1 weirdness).

And thanks to Nathaniel, Reed has a bunch of half-siblings!!!
Left to right we have Joanna (seen only once in the Slott run), Huntara (from the DeFalco run) and Arthur (born in the Byrne run, seen as an adult once in the Slott run).
Joanna and Arthur have +0.5 points for being civilians, but +1 weirdness bonus point each for being half-siblings from a time-traveling father. Arthur is even from a parallel dimension AND he’s an ancestor to Kang the Conqueror, which ALONE is worth a second +1 weirdness point.
Huntara was briefly a supervillain in the Frightful Four, but after clearing the misunderstandings she was in Fantastic Force. So she’s +1 superhero and +1 weirdness.

Speaking of Arthur, I am not counting Kang since he’s his  escendant from 1,000 years after his birth and that would be a stretch even for me.
I am, however, counting his mother Cassandra: Nathaniel DID marry her AND she was a supervillain (+2 points and +1 for weirdness, since she’s from a parallel timeline).
According to at least one handbook she’s also the mother of Huntara, while we never saw Joanna’s mother.

The DeFalco version also claimed to be the father of Kristoff, Doctor Doom’s adopted son.
I still think Nathaniel was bulls##tting when he claimed it, but there’s a couple of stories where Kristoff believes him so I reluctantly have to count Kristoff.
The fact that the adopted son of Doctor Dom MIGHT be related to Reed is never brought up is stupid enough to warrant -3 points for an unused supervillain.
It’s not solid enough to make me include Doctor Doom, though.

The weirdness extends to the Richards kids, too. Multiple future versions of both Franklin and Valeria have showed up, but only Psi-Lord and Valeria Von Doom were permanent members of the cast. They’re worth 2 points each (+1 super and +1 weird).

And finally there’s Lyja, the Skrull that the Human Torch married when she was pretending to be Alicia Masters.
I’m counting her as a civilian for her time as Alicia (+0.5 points), plus the time she spent as a superhero (+1 point), and two points for weirdness (+1 for being an alien and +1 for the entire idea of her taking Alicia’s place). Technically she was briefly a supervillain, but she became basically a full member of the team.

If you’re keeping track, the Fantastic Four have 24 total points.
+7 superhero points
+4 supervillain points
+2 civilian points
+3 super civilians points
-1 unused civilian points
-3 unused supervillain points
+12 weirdness points

---

THE THING

I’m not counting him as part of the above since he’s not personally related to them, but he’s grown his own family recently.
He has married Alicia in 2018, and they’ve since adopted a couple of alien kids.

That’s +1 superhero point for the Thing, +0.5 civilian points for Alicia, and +1 super points for both kids since she is a Skrul and he’s a Kree child supersoldier. The kids also get +1 point for being aliens.
Completing the count are Alicia’s supervillain father Puppet Master (+2 points).
The Thing’s deceased brother doesn’t get points (he only shows up in flashbacks), but I’m deducting -2 points for his uncle Jake and especially his aunt Petunia.
The Thing mentions her CONSTANTLY, but she showed up ONCE in the Byrne run and we wouldn’t see her again until the Slott run (where’s she’s aged considerably).
They’re interesting characters and it’s a crime it took THAT LONG for them to return.

That brings the Thing to a 5.5 total points.

---

SPIDER-MAN

He can’t be THAT weird, right? He’s supposed to be the relatable one.
We obviously have Spider-Man (+1), Aunt May and Uncle Ben (+0.5 each).

But Peter’s parents being CIA superspies is enough for me to consider them super (+1 each)… in addition to their youngest daughter Teresa (+1 too), introduced in 2014.
I hate the idea that Peter Parker has a long-lost younger sister who is a SHIELD agent.

Weirder still: clones, and lots of them.
Luckily, only 3 have enough of a personality and presence to be worth mentioning.
Scarlet Spider: +1 superhero and +1 weird (he’s also been a supervillain, but he’s mostly a hero).
Kaine: +2 supervillain and +1 weird (he’s also been an antihero).
Spidercide has the same points of Kaine; I almost counted him as forgotten, but it looks like he’s showed up lately.

Aunt May has two sisters, Jan and April (really), who we only hear about in 2009 so they’re each a -1 for unused civilians.

The same story that introduced May’s sisters also tells us that Peter has three hot cousins. They show up a couple of times but they’re irrelevant enough to get a -1 each for unused civilians.

In the same storyline, Aunt May married the father of J. Jonah Jameson!
That’s +0.5 points for father and son…

…and that means I can also count JJJ’s wife Marla (+0.5 civilian) and his son John Jameson.
Who is occasionally a werewolf because of a magic space rock, so +1 super and +1 weird.

Who was briefly married to She-Hulk (+1 superhero).

Despite Marvel’s insistence on keeping that stupid retcon, I refuse to drop the fact that Peter Parker married Mary Jane.
Much to my despair, though, I have to count her as a superhero (+1) because she’s currently Venom.
You know sometimes I wonder if I should go back to reading Spider-Man, and they constantly remind me why I stopped.

That allows me to count MJ’s side of the family into this… which is bad news for Spidey.
Because while Aunt Anna is a regular (+0.5), it seems we have completely lost track of Mary Jane’s sister, her two nephews, her father and her cousin Kristy (collectively -5 points for forgotten civilians) and most worryingly her stillborn daughter May is never brought up.

She also had a couple of adopted children: Romy and Owen, magical constructs born on an alternate timeline.
They bring +0.5 points each for civilians, +2 points each for weirdness (magic constructs AND from another timeline), and +2 additional reasons for keeping me away from modern Spider-Man because WTF!?!?

Keeping track of all that is nearly as complicated as following the Clone Saga, but it’s 13 total points.

+4 superhero points
+4 supervillain points
+4 civilians points
+4 super civilians
-11 unused civilians points (!!!)
+8 weird points
+17 years of crushing my love for Spider-Man

---

NOT COUNTED: GODS

I am not including gods in this analysis, because MOST of the weird relationships are not invented by the comics.
It’s worth mentioning, though, that in Marvel Comics the Asgardians and the Olympians are technically related… because in the 80s Thor was retconned to be the son of Gaea, who is simultaneously from the Greek pantheon… and technically the great-grandmother of Hercules.
Which makes Thor the half-brother of Hercule’s grandfather.

---

Before moving to the two Marvel juggernauts for this category, let’s have a look at the only contender from DC Comics that comes to mind.

THE FLASH, pre-Crisis

This is just for context to see how bonkers it gets post-Crisis.
We have Flash (+1) marrying Iris West, who is initially just a regular civilian (+0.5)… only to be revealed to have been born in the 30th century and sent back in time (+1 weird).

Her biological parents are basically never used, so it’s -1 each counteracted by a +1 weirdness.
But her adoptive father, the absent-minded professor Ira West is a recurring character (+0.5 civilian).
Closing the family we have Iris’s nephew Wally, better known as Kid Flash (+1 hero).

I am not counting the Tornado Twins because they were originally Flash’s descendants instead of his kids, and the rest of the extended civilian family is a non-factor.
That’s a surprisingly low 4 points total score… how insane does post-Crisis get?

---

THE FLASH, post-Crisis

All the points from pre-Crisis still apply.
But this time the Tornado Twins are the children of Flash, so they each get +1 superhero and +1 weird for being the children of two time-travelers. Each of the twins is a parent of a superhero, Impulse (+1 superhero and +1 weird for being born in the future and being a hero in the present) and XS (+1 superhero, and Legionnaire).
After growing up into becoming Flash, Wally marries Linda Park (+0.5 civilian) who has a ex-husband we never see (-1 unused civilian). They have two superpowered kids later (+1 superhero each), who grew up fast thanks to Speed Force and time travel shenanigans (+1 weird each).

Impulse has an evil clone named Inertia (+2 supervillain, +1 clone, +1 time traveler).

Impulse’s mother, in addition to being the origin of his enormous hair, is a descendant of Reverse-Flash (!!!!). That relationship is too distant to be included, but she’s a time traveler so she gets +0.5 civilian and +1 weird.

She has a son with the original Captain Boomerang (!!!) who becomes a supervillain (+2).

Perhaps most bizarre of all, we have Cobalt Blue.
He’s the twin brother of Barry Allen, stolen at birth by crooks who are the ancestors of Reverse-Flash and grown to hate the Flash family because of a mystical gem.
That’s +2 for being a supervillain and +2 for being so weird because WTF was this storyline???

This gives the post-Crisis Flash family 26 total points, which if you’ve been keep track beats the Fantastic Four by 2 points.
+8 superhero points
+6 supervillain points
+2 civilians points
-3 unused civilians points
+13 weird points

I’m going to bring up the big guns to defeat this family.
You knew this was coming.

---

SUMMERS-GREY FAMILY

Yeah when Marvel itself brings up charts, you know this is the good stuff!

We have Cyclops and his brother Havok (+1 superhero each), both sons of the space pirate Corsair (+1 super civilian). They have two half-brothers, Vulcan (+2 supervillain and +1 weird for growing up in space) and Adam-X (+1 superhero).
We’re already at +7 and we haven’t hit clones and time travel yet!

Speaking of Vulcan: he was briefly married to Deathbird, bringing aliens into the family!
She’s also a supervillain (+2 and +1 weird), the sister of both Lilandra (+1 super civilian) and D’Ken (+2 supervillain).
Lilandra was also married to Professor X (+1 superhero), father of her daughter Xandra (+0.5 civilian). Deathbird is also the mother of minor Avenger Deathcry (+1 superhero).
Deathbird is confirmed to have had a son or a daughter with Vulcan that we never see; I’m counting +2 points for a super civilian because you KNOW that kid will get powers.
Thanks Vulcan, you brought an additional 11 points to the family: ALL of the above except the professor also get a +1 for being aliens.

On the Grey side of the family we have Jean Grey (+2 hero) and her 4 siblings (-1 point each for being unused).
Jean has a clone with Madelyne Pryor (+2 supervillain and +1 weirdness for clone), who has a son with Scott who grows up to be Cable (+1 superhero and +1 time travel).
Cable has a clone with Stryfe (+2 supervillain and +1 weird), a dead son Tyler (also +2 supervillain and +1 weird), an alternate reality double with X-Man (+1 superhero, +1 double) and the adopted daughter Hope (+1 superhero, +1 time travel).

We also have the time-traveling Rachel Summers (+1 hero, +1 time travel); I’m pretty sure the version in modern X-Men comics is supposed to be the same one from the 80s, but they might be separate characters for all I know.

Unfortunately Havok never married Polaris, so I can’t bring her or Magneto into the count.
But that puts the family on the podium with 30 total points:
+10 superhero points
+10 supervillain points
+1 civilian points
+2 super civilian points
-4 unused civilian points
-2 unused super civilian points
+13 weird points

Surely nobody can beat THE poster child for absurd superhero families, right?

---

THE MAXIMOFF

You might think they start with a handicap thanks to the retcon (which is surprisingly still standing) that Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver were never the actual children of Magneto.
Oh, you have no idea how deep this goes.

Wanda and Pietro are just the start (+1 superhero each); we know the current identity of their mother as Natalya Maximoff, a Scarlet Witch herself (+1 super civilian); as of 2025 we don’t officially know who their father is, but it’s repeatedly stated it’s NOT Magneto.
Until he will certainly be retconned into being the father, for the purposes of this count he’s not.

They do have an adoptive parent with Django, who for having magic puppet powers is a +1 super civilian, and an adoptive mother with Marya who is an unused civilian because she never shows up.

Let’s concentrate on the Quicksilver side of the expanded family, because believe it or not that’s going to be the easy part.

Which tells you a lot because by marrying Crystal (+1 superhero) means he’s related to the Inhuman Royal Family!!!
Which doesn’t just add Quicksilver’s daughter Luna (+1 super civilian) and his sister-in-law Medusa (+1 superhero), but Maximus (+2 supervillain) and the rest (Black Bolt, his son Ahura, Gorgon, his children Alecto and Petras, Karnak, his son Leer, and Triton all count as super civilians). Crystal was also briefly married to Ronan The Accuser (+2 supervillain).
We’re already at 11 points and we haven’t delved into the weird yet.

Like the fact that Scarlet and Quicksilver have a “daughter” artificially created by the High Evolutionary from their gene samples, Luminous.
She’s +2 supervillain and +2 weird because WTF WERE THEY THINKING???

Okay that was the easy part. Now we get into the really complicated part, because Scarlet marries Vision (+1 hero and +1 weird for being an android).
But then they have two sons who grow up to be Wiccan and Speed… who are superheroes (+1), magically created (+1 weird) reincarnations (+1 weird again) who were born through a fraction of Mephisto’s power (+1 weird once more).

The twins also have M’Kraan, their magically created (+1 weird) time-traveling (+1 weird) reality-warping (+1 super civilian) daughter (+1 weird).
WILL YOU STOP GIVING MAGIC CHILDREN TO TWINS, MARVEL???

We’re already at 29 points, right behind the Summers family, and WE’RE NOT DONE YET.

Because Wiccan marries Hulkling, who is the superhero (+2) alien (+1) son of the original Captain Marvel (+1 superhero +1 alien).
And THAT brings into the family the two superhero children of Mar-Vell (Genis and Phyla, +1 superhero and +1 alien each) and their mother, the Eternal Elysius (+1 super civilian).
Not only THAT, but Hulkling’s mother was the Skrull princess (+0.5 civilian, +1 alien) daughter of the first evil Skrull emperor we saw (+2 supervillain).

We are at 43.5 total points…
+10 superhero points
+10 supervillain points
+0.5 civilian points
-1 unused civilian points
+6 super civilian points
+18 weird points

…and WE ARE STILL NOT DONE, because remember Scarlet Witch married Vision… and that brings a whole other crazy family into the mix!
Because he was the basis of his brain, Vision considers Wonder Man (+1 superhero) his brother; that also brings in Wonder Man’s biological brother, Grim Reaper (+2 supervillain).

Vision built himself an android family with wife Virginia and son Vin (+1 super civilian and +1 robot each) and daughters Viv (+1 superhero and +1 robot) and the short-lived Viv 2.0 (+1 super civilian and +1 robot).

Vision he also considers Ultron his father (+2 supervillain, +1 robot) and Hank Pym his grandfather (+1 superhero). That adds Hank’s wife Wasp (+1 superhero), his first deceased wife Maria (+0.5 civilian) and his daughter Nadia, the second Wasp (+1 superhero).Ultron
also created for himself two wives: Jocasta (+1 hero, +1 robot) and Alkhema (+2 supervillain, +1 robot) and a child with Victor Mancha (+1 hero, +1 robot).
Meaning that Vision’s family, excluding Vision himself, brings 23.5 points.

Meaning that the absolute weirdest comics family is the Maximoff-Pym extended family, with an astounding 67 total points.
+17 superhero points
+16 supervillain points
+1 civilian points
+9 super civilian points
-1 unused civilian points
+25 weird points

To give you an idea about how absurd that is:

26 points: Allen/West family
29.5 points: Richards/Grimm family
30 points: Summers/Grey family
43.5 points: Maximoff family
67 points: Maximoff/Pym family

Magneto being retconned back into the family is probably inevitable, but what I’m really looking forward is for any of these guys to marry into the Summers and the Richards family.
Then like 90% of Marvel heroes will be related to each other in some way.