Superman #139

Superman #139 (1960)
by Otto Binder & Curt Swan

Don’t worry, I’m not going to review ALL the Lori Lemaris appearances.

I’m actually going to cover the third story of the book, which is the origin of Red Kryptonite.
It’s not the first appearance of Red K: that was Adventure Comics #252, but its properties hadn’t been established yet.

We begin with a HUGE Red Kryptonite meteor striking a submarine. Please consider that this version is explicitly far more rare than Green Kryptonite, so imagine how abundant the green one must be!

You know Superman, maybe people would exploit your weaknesses less if you stopped telling everyone about them.

Apparently the Superman robots are not as tough as they used to be.

Silver Age Superman might be The Worst, but even he isn’t going to risk the life of a dog or of his cousin.

It’s surprisingly rare to get a full explanation for what Kryptonite is, considering how everyone knows about it.

The reason for Red Kryptonite being completely different from Green Kryptonite is that it passed through “a strange cosmic cloud” before reaching Earth.
Which is weird for several reasons. First of all: since Kryptonite are pieces of the same planet being flung towards Earth in its explosion… shouldn’t they ALL have followed the same trajectory and therefore all be affected by this?
Second, what even WAS that cloud? The effects of Red Kryptonite might as well be magic for how random they are. In my headcanon, this cloud is in the same solar system of Sorcerer’s World.

While this story is the origin of the classic version of Red Kryptonite, it references another prototype that I haven’t reviewed yet.
While there’s no footnote, Superman is recalling the plot of Adventure Comics #255.
I will definitely review that one someday; based in that one alone, however, Red Kryptonite should just have split Superman in two versions of himself.

There are more refences to other Red Kryptonite stories on Superboy. I don’t know if these are actual stories or if this issue is making them up.

Superman also thinks back at the time when he was exposed to Red Kryptonite when he was judging a mineral collection.
Okay even if they didn’t know it was Red K, it was a bit rude to invite as a judge a guy who is deathly allergic to some specific rocks!
Also, my scan has a weird red blotch in the kid’s head… hopefully HE won’t be affected by Red Kryptonite.

As you probably already guessed, the entire point of this story is to be a collection of various effects Red Kryptonite has had on Superman. That’s probably the reason why you often see it included in reprints of famous Silver Age stories.

Superman does save the submarine, but he’s still affected by Red Kryptonite.
MOST of the time the effects are instantaneous, but sometimes they are arbitrarily delayed.

The effect isn’t as bad as other exposures, and it gives me the chance to bring up something that the Silver Age was strangely consistent about: Superman’s beard.
While post-Crisis gave a definitive explanation for how Superman shaves, pre-Crisis he just didn’t need to because Kryptonian hair doesn’t grow under a yellow sun.
Which A) means Superman never learned how to shave B) it must be convenient for Supergirl.

By the way, Superman’s way of shaving post-Crisis… using his heat vision to burn hair… doesn’t work here because he’s TOO invulnerable.
You know now that I think about it, I don’t think that post-Crisis ever bothered to say how Superman trims his fingernails.

Oh come on Perry, this can’t POSSIBLY be in the top thousand weirdest things you have seen.

Another inconsistency in Red Kryptonite will be how long its effects last.

MOST of the time it’s either 24 or 48 hours, but there are several times when it’s significantly more.

Superman’s solution is to ask for more people with heat vision.

I sure hope that Red Kryptonite made only the hair on Superman’s hair grow super-fast, otherwise poor Supergirl would have been traumatized.
Also, how well-behaved is Krypto to perfectly shave him?

I’m not saying that the 90s had the idea of Superman with long hair from reading this 60s story, but I’m also not saying they didn’t.

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Historical significance: 6/10
Red Kryptonite remains a plague in Superman’s life throughout the Silver Age, and while its effects and duration vary wildly at least the origin stays consistent.

Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Red Kryptonite IS the Silver Age.

Does it stand the test of time? 6/10
The story itself is fine, for what little story it is, and if you want to do a throwback the effects THIS time are not as random as they will eventually be.

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What else was in Action Comics #139 ?

Well you saw the cover.

Notably, this is the first meeting between Lori and Lois.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: the most dystopic aspect of the Silver Age.
Jimmy Olsen could watch anyone, anywhere, anytime.
And he can read your thoughts.
Pleasant nightmares!

Lori’s husband receives a fatal injury, pleading Superman to marry his wife.

Superman goes as far as having Atlantean science transform him into a merman.

This is a great occasion for our old friend, “Guess the stupid ending!”
How is this going to resolve?

A) it was a trick to teach Lois a lesson
B) that was a Superman robot who fell in love with Lori
C) it was all a dream caused by Lois being jealous
D) Red Kryptonite turned Superman into a merman
E) this reality was created by an evil and cruel god who gave Jimmy Olsen the technology to watch you when you sleep

What’s your pick?

Oh thank God, Superman didn’t REALLY give that tech to Jimmy… he’s not completely insane.
“Completely” doing the heavy lifting here.

There’s also a story where Clark Kent is jailed by a would-be dictator.

If you think this could go into interesting directions, it really doesn’t.