LOIS LANE #60 (1965)
“Lois Lane’s Greatest Rival!” by unknown & Kurt Schaffenberger
“Get Lost, Superman!” by Otto Binder & Kurt Schaffenberger
Well that’s a bit extreme.
But first: yet another story where Lois marries Superman. But this time her greatest rival isn’t Lana Lang…
…but Jimmy Olsen.
Yep! Lois is actually jealous of Jimmy Olsen.
She’s going to kill him, isn’t it?
Well I can surely understand her.
Not only Jimmy showed up at the honeymoon (uninvited!), he even volunteers to be their “man-servant”.
This time I’m giving Lois a pass, because honestly Jimmy is even more insufferable than usual.
We can’t have a mentally stable Lois for long, so she gets nightmares about this.
(also it’s 1965 so of course the married couple still sleeps in separate beds)
Then finally Lois does what she should’ve done from the beginning: just tell Jimmy to stop.
Jimmy tries to pull the old “I was just doing my job as a journalist”, but it turns out he had ulterior motives. And no, it wasn’t to have an affair with Superman.
No you judged him just fine, Lois: he’s a dick.
Let’s move to the cover story. I approve the title.
It begins with Superman in a kissing booth. You just know that it was HIS idea.
If he told them this a few decades older we wouldn’t have this series.
But he still gives them the scoop on his latest invention: a hibernation chamber. I guess he hopes that they’ll take the hint (they won’t).
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT!?
This shouldn’t be a problem thanks to his time traveling powers.
But it is.
Holy crap this his horrifying!!!
Otto Binder has a bit of fun with time travel dynamics.
As the saying goes, you don’t how how much you don’t actually loathe someone until they die horribly thanks to your inventions.
Or something like that.
Superman misses Lois and Lana so much that he goes to look for their Kandorian twins.
Which naturally means that the real Lois and Lana are still alive.
And that’s how they faked their own deaths to cause despair for the man they supposedly love!
Honestly at this point I would understand if Superman marries Jimmy Olsen.
Historical significance: 0/10
An imaginary story and the millionth time Superman can’t make up his mind? Yeah, firmly 0/10.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
The first story is SLIGHTLY less ridiculous, but both bleed Silver Age.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
The first story is definitely less mean-spirited than the second one, but everyone is still terrible.
Stupid Lois Lane moment
First story: forgiving Jimmy and putting a good word for him. Unless Lois hates her sister, why would Jimmy inserting himself in her marriage help!?!?
Second story: she’s lucky that Superman is so co-dependent or her little stunt would’ve made him drop her into the future for real