Jimmy Olsen 10

SUPERMAN’S PAL JIMMY OLSEN 010 (1956)
By Otto Binder & Curt Swan

I know you’re all here for the gorilla.

But that’ll have to wait because this is an anthology book, and the gorilla is on the third story.
You won’t be bored by the previous two, promise.

The first begins, innocently enough, with Jimmy Olsen taking up a new hobby: ham radio.
Which is of course another term for amateur radio, but considering this is Silver Age Jimmy Olsen somehow I don’t think he’s going to be any good at it.

But he’s actually so good at it that he picks up a message from Mars!
Impressive that he can remember the distance from Earth so easily.

He has a sensible question for the Martian: how can he speak English?
The answer is, uhm, basically “I know what Earth words mean because I translated them”.

Sounds legit.

The Martian’s proof is that the radio’s antenna is turned towards Mars (which Jimmy can easily spot despite the city lights of Metropolis and that is conveniently just right out of his window).

Again, perfectly legit.

Now that he’s convinced, Jimmy asks for descriptions of the people of Mars and their animals, and I guess they’re as goofy as you would expect from 1956.

He also gets many descriptions of life on Mars.
These are funny to us, but remember: this is from 1956. We have seen the surface of Mars thanks to various probes, so WE know how Mars looks like, it wouldn’t be until twenty years later before anyone could see a true Martian landscape.

Having said that… I don’t think ANYONE ever called one of its moons “Deimes”.
(It’s Deimos, by the way, and both moons are waaaay too small to cast any shadow like that).

Jimmy is thrilled by all of this, but he’s starting to think this is all a little suspicious.
Yes, NOW he’s suspicious.
Luckily, the Martians can warm him about a volcano that is going to erupt!

The prediction is true, the volcano erupts, and Superman just plugs it with a big rock.
I’m no expert on volcanoes, but I get the feeling that is a TERRIBLE idea.

But we find out this is only a scam and that Jimmy is too dumb to figure it out.
Shocking, I know.

And not only Jimmy writes an article on this without any proof whatsoever, but the Daily Planet… supposedly a major and reputable newspaper… immediately publishes it, front page and all!

While this is going on, there’s a 50,000 $ prize for anyone who can give an explanation about the canals of Mars.

This was a real scientific mystery back in the day, with many explanations, some of which really far-fetched with hindsight.

As far as I know, nobody suggested THIS:

Yes, the canals are HUGE CHAINS THAT ARE HOLDING THE PLANET TOGETHER.

What is your reaction to THAT, Jimmy!?

Yeah, that’s about right.

Jimmy now finds out that it’s all a scam:

But how did they scam Jimmy? Basically, by counting on the fact that Jimmy doesn’t know anything about radio.

I’m not sure about what the writers mean by “the Heaviside layer above Earth”, but since this proves that Jimmy is an idiot I’m inclined to believe them.

But wait! That doesn’t explain the volcano! How did they know when it would erupt?
Oh that’s easy, the BLEW UP THE VOLCANO WITH DYNAMITE.

See? I told you those guys were legit!

And the reason for all of this? They know Jimmy Olsen was the only person dumb enough to fall for it.

Then they get another message, this time from a real Martian, and the scammers IMMEDIATELY BELIEVE IT.

They give an alternative solution to the canal conundrum: they are rivers of lava.
Which is cool an all, but I really preferred the huge chains to keep the planet together.

Bonus: it tells the scammers that a nearby lake is full of gold!

Where Superman, of course, will arrest them after randomly throwing mud at them.

Because, of course, Superman was the one sending the new message.

Superman’s explanation on how he knew that it was a scam is relatively clever: they forgot that radio communications with Mars have a delay.

Although it’s VERY weird to have Silver Age Superman be the one to give a physics lesson.
I suppose breaking all laws of physics is a legitimate way to learn them.

Well, time for the second story: Jimmy Olsen’s Forgotten Adventure.

I wonder why it was… uhm, Jimmy, can you repeat that?

DICK HUNTER.
Okay.
Didn’t expect that from 1956.

It’s about Jimmy Olsen disguising himself as an “elevator boy” to infiltrate some place where people with criminal records are attending private music lessons.

But he randomly gets amnesia.

Little known fact: in the 1950s, losing your memory was just a minor inconvenience that usually went away on its own in about a day.

Jimmy… or rather DICK HUNTER… discovers that the music lessons are just a front to study underground getaways.

It’s actually a rather well-thought-out crime lesson.

For a while, Jimmy… I’m sorry, DICK HUNTER… is able to hide in a water pipe that they keep around for practice, but he’s discovered.

The criminals immediately deduce that he’s Jimmy Olsen because they are used to working with disguises and have a bottle of hair dye removal readily available.

Jimmy is such a feared crime-fighter that there’s a portrait of him in the criminal Rogue’s Gallery.
He’s then locked in the Advanced Escapes Classroom.

Which he escapes with chalk.

How much chalk did they keep in that classroom!?

Superman of course arrests the criminals, and Jimmy cures himself from amnesia by being a klutz.

Alright. We’ve had Martian canals and DICK HUNTER.

I think we’re ready for the gorilla now.

We begin with Clark Kent and Jimmy Olsen traveling to the jungles of Yucatan to discover if the legendary “Jungle Boy” is a real thing.

Which is to say, Superman does all the work while Jimmy sleeps on the job.

As a reward, he loses his clothes and randomly changes them with a leopard skin he found.

And loses his voice by playing Tarzan too much and falling into the water.

And Superman, upset because Jimmy slept on the job, acts as if he’s the real Jungle Boy.

Going so far to prevent him from writing a message…

…to tricking him into eating raw meat…

…to prove that he’s so dumb he can’t use a can opener.
Considering this is the same Jimmy who gave himself two concussions in the same day, the last one MIGHT have been unnecessary, Superman.

But when a random stampede of water buffalo is about to attack them, Superman lets Jimmy play the hero…

…while he helps him by squeezing a tree so hard it squirts “liquid latex”.
Wait, what?

And he finally recognizes Jimmy Olsen, who supposedly he couldn’t recognize because he was dirty.

And that’s the end of the story.

Which means THERE WAS NO GORILLA!!!

Come on, you promised us a gorilla on the cover! They’re supposed to be everywhere during the Silver Age!

What do you think about that, upset imaginary Martian?

 

Historical significance: 0/10
Like the title of the second story, completely forgotten by time.

Silver Age-ness: 4/10
First story: Superman doesn’t use any of his powers to check Jimmy’s story, even though by this time his telescopic vision can probably see Mars just find and he DEFINITELY could simply fly there.
Second story: it’s a wonder people don’t get amnesia once a week if it’s so easy
Third story: it could’ve been higher but THERE WAS NO GORILLA!!!

Does it stand the test of time? 4/10
The first story is an interesting time capsule, but obviously you couldn’t do this with Mars (or with radio) today.
The second story is a mostly straight detective story, but the easy amnesia is a major flaw. Not to mention almost useless: the criminals find out about Jimmy immediately, and the only impact is that he has to find a way to call Superman without using his signal watch.
The third story is the most unrealistic, and considering we had fake Martian ham radio in the first one, that’s saying something.

Stupid Jimmy Olsen moment
Oh boy.
Could it be the first story, for how easy it is to trick him?
Could it be the third story, for playing Tarzan when you’re almost naked in the jungle?
Valid moments, but they don’t come anywhere near the third story. Yes, he’s a (kinda) competent detective there. But he chooses Dick Hunter as his disguise’s name.
Thinking that DICK HUNTER is a name that will help his anonymity is, by far, the dumbest thing Jimmy does in this entire issue.