Adventure Comics 314

ADVENTURE COMICS 314 (1963)
by Edmond Hamilton and John Forte

We have a DC cover promising the three greatest villains. They are NOT what you expect, trust me.

Auditions time! We have Ronn Kar, with the power to… flattening himself.

Too bad he’s rejected. I wonder what his codename would’ve been… Carpet Boy? Flat Kid? Doormat Lad?

Then we have Alaktor, the inventor of the Marvel Belt ™.

I would’ve rejected him for his costume.

But he’s more than just a one-panel gag: he’s actually a spy, and he used the audition as an excuse to figure out the secrets of the Legion clubhouse!

And he uses this information to sneak inside, to steal the Time Bubble.

Unaware of this, the Legion goes on a mission on Lost World: a rogue planet that is passing through Earth’s solar system.

Once they return to Earth, they discover that they can’t follow Alaktor because they only have one Time Bubble.

They COULD ask Supergirl to follow him. Or ask Superboy or Mon-El to return from Lost World (they’re staying there to keep guard). But I suppose the fact that they don’t know the destination makes all of this a moot point.

And where, or rather when, is Alaktor? In Ancient Rome, to recruit Nero.

Specifically, he’s gone to 64 AD. While this IS the correct date for the burning of Rome… there are problems with showing the Colosseum.
For starters, it’s shown in its current ruined state. But most importantly, the construction of the Colosseum would not start until 72 AD… and Nero died in 68 AD !!!

Next stop is 1934 to recruit… John Dillinger?
Now that’s kind of random, isn’t it?

And finally Alaktor recruits… freakin’ ADOLF HITLER.

If you think the story just went off the rails, it hasn’t even STARTED.

The Legion does manage to build a second Time Bubble, and they know Alaktor’s destination because Saturn Girl was able to guide them with her telepathy.
(no she can’t read minds through time, she’s already ON the Time Bubble when she does that, she just tells the pilot when to stop)

So they KNOW who Alaktor has recruited. Remember this.
Because when both the Legion and Alaktor return to the 30th century… Saturn Girl can’t identify the people he brought with him, because they are wearing telepathy-proof cowls!

What the… how can you NOT know who’s with him in the Time Bubble!?!? What, you think Alaktor took these three, dumped them somewhere else, and then took ANOTHER three evil people to the future?!?!

But wait! It gets dumber!

The Legion understandably doesn’t disband like Alaktor asked them to, so they just… let him go? With their only request being to let Saturn Girl get away? WTF!?!?

Superboy, why don’t you do something? ANYTHING? Or Saturn Girl, or Mon-El, or Ultra Boy! They just stand there, let Alaktor leave on the Time Bubble, and allow him to reach Lost World!

Then they meet them AGAIN on Lost World, where… just watch.

Yes. Superboy now has the mind of Adolf Hitler.

Mon-El has the mind of Nero and Ultra Boy the mind of Dillinger, yes, but when you bring up Hitler with the power of Superman, everyone else becomes kind of irrelevant.

Then Alaktor discovers that *shocker* Hitler can’t be trusted!

“I should have known this would happen”.

UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE MILLENNIUM.

Also: you have a machine that transfer minds into superheroes… and you give powers to everyone EXCEPT yourself!?

*groan*

Let’s move on. The trio of villains forces Saturn Girl to demonstrate what kind of weapons they can find on Lost World, and they’re quite something!

But you have the powers of Superboy! You don’t need any of these weapons, you can just…
Wait, why am I giving suggestions to freakin’ Hitler!?

The Legion manages to stall them long enough to escape, and they regroup with the other Legionnaires.

It doesn’t work.

Even worse, they’ve discovered that Lost World has giant rocket that can move it towards Earth.

Why do they need that, Superboy can move planets on his own and…
I really should stop helping Hitler.

Saturn Girl has a new plan: give each villain information on how to defeat the others, hoping they will turn on each other.

This is interesting. Apparently Mon-El’s serum isn’t in its complete form yet. Additionally, we are informed that Ultra Boy is vulnerable to “radioactive force”.
Fortunately this will be severely downplayed and almost forgotten over the years; Ultra Boy is already extremely similar to Superboy and Mon-El, a specific weakness would just emphasize that.

Saturn Girl’s plan works, the three villains take out each other and Alaktor restores the Legionnaires.

And the menace of Lost World is solved by just pushing the planet elsewhere.

Superboy’s prediction is true: we won’t hear of Lost World again.
Saturn Girl’s hope that the Legion will never fight itself again… not so much.

 

Legion significance: 1/10
Only an extremely minor impact for Ultra Boy, with his weakness and most importantly the fact that he’s recognized as an equal to Superboy and Mon-El. Which is strange considering his powers haven’t really been defined yet.

Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Was there any doubt?

Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
The only thing that is salvageable is Lost World… kind of a prototype of the post-Crisis Warworld.
Other than that, this is reeeeally bad. The plot makes no sense, Alaktor is as generic as they come, the Legionnaires come off as incompetent, and of course there is NO WAY to use such a goofy representation of Hitler today.

We are legion
*10 active in this story: Lightning Lad, Sun Boy, Brainiac 5, Bouncing Boy, Superboy, Mon-El, Ultra Boy, Invisible Kid, Chameleon Boy, Shriking Violet
*9 not appearing but officially members: Cosmic Boy, Colossal Boy, Star Boy, Phantom Girl, Triplicate Girl, Supergirl, Matter-Eater Lad, Element Lad, Lightning Lass
*1 honorary member: Elastic Lad

How much Legion is too much?
Despite what the cover says, the Legion currently includes 21 people.
It is interesting that the cover points out the Legion has 18 members; the large roster was apparently already a selling point. I do wonder who they are excluding. Even if they don’t count Elastic Lad (understandable as he’s honorary) and the usual suspect Star Boy, they should at least reach 20.

 Legion rejects: 15
Adding Ronn Kar and Alaktor. The second tries under false pretense, but he still counts.