ADVENTURE COMICS 315 (1963)
by Edmond Hamilton and John Forte
Time for another story with the Substitute Heroes… this time with a Legion membership on the line!
We start with the Legion keeping tabs on the worlds they’re sworn to protect by using the Universe-Monitor ™.
Two things. First, who named “Wind World” and “Tree World”?
And more importantly, who named THIS “Ring World” when it’s clearly Donut World!?
How central is the Legion to its universe? Batman gets calls from Commissioner Gordon to catch criminals, while the Legion gets called by “law officials from all the universe” to teach them how to do their job!
Meanwhile, Earth is under attack by some aliens that… are not very bright.
Dude, maybe don’t SAY that you’re going to use glass to kill people?
With the Legion away, it’s the Subs who save the day!
Will they get the validation they deserve?
This time they do!
It feels strange to see Superboy call them “you five youths” when they’re supposed to be his age.
The Legionnaires recognize that the Subs can be effective superheroes, and so decide to accept one of them into the Legion.
Which is fine, but… why just ONE of them? I can kind of understand not wanting to integrate the entire team (I sincerely doubt Chlorophyll Kid and Stone Boy could make it), but why not two or three?
They COULD just admit they were too harsh with their judgement and take new auditions, or trust a slot machine.
Okay to be fair, the Mechanical Selector ™ is supposedly picking the best missions and the best Legionnaire judges. Why they need this machine when they have the entire Legion (which also includes Brainiac 5), I have no idea.
But the tests are actually kind of clever. For example: Polar Boy can only create coldness, so his test is to de-frost two scientists who froze themselves.
Which he accomplishes by flying above an active volcano, using his powers to avoid getting vaporized!
So Polar Boy passes his test.
Next: Night Girl has no powers under sunlight, so her mission is on a planet where there’s ALWAYS sunlight.
Specifically, she has to defeat the tyrannical Sun Woman, who has powers only under the Sun.
Initially it doesn’t seem to work out…
…but Sun Woman makes the mistake of trapping Night Girl underground.
You might expect Night Girl to just jump to the surface and knock out Sun Woman, but it’s actually a little more complex: she convinces the locals to obscure the Sun with a dark cloud.
THEN she jumps to the surface and knocks out Sun Woman.
Next is Chlorophyll Kid, whose mission is to spit a mountain!
WHICH HE DOES.
Then we have Fire Lad’s test: give fire to some aliens who live on an asteroid where it always rains.
What kind of asteroid is that!?
As you can imagine, Fire Lad succeeds as well.
So it’s an asteroid with Earth-like gravity, a permanent atmosphere, a water cycle AND fossil fuel? Come on, that’s a planet who decided to call itself an asteroid for tax purposes!
The last test is Stone Boy. His power is to be useless, so his test is to stop a rampaging monster on a different planet-like asteroid.
Stone Boy’s solution: a shovel.
Did you REALLY need telepathy to figure out he was digging a trap, Saturn Girl?
Everything seems to be working out…
…but the monster gets distracted, and Stone Boy has to disqualify himself by asking Saturn Girl to save the day.
Okay, time to decide the winner!
Let’s evaluate the results, shall we?
Stone Boy obviously failed his test: he did not contribute anything in stopping the monster.
Fire Lad did overcome a limitation on his power, but only because the “asteroid” had some easily accessible oil.
Chlorophyll Kid did a little better, but he didn’t use his powers in a particularly clever way.
Polar Boy showed more versatility, and if we are to believe that the reason he was rejected was his lack of control over his powers, he CLEARLY has perfected his control, or those scientists would have died.
But Night Girl was the most impressive: creative use of her powers AND she even showed some leadership potential, essentially staging a coup in zero time.
So… if it was up to me, both Polar Boy and Night Girl demonstrated they are Legion material. But if only one can join, my vote is for Night Girl.
OH COME ON!!!!!!
What kind of feel-good explanation is that!? Okay Stone Boy definitely did the right thing to forfeit in order to save innocent lives, but… you know what would’ve happened if Stone Boy WASN’T there? Another Legionnaire would’ve stopped the monster because Stone Boy was of ZERO use!
*groan*
So I guess we’re stuck with Stone Boy joining the Legion, right?
Nope!
Well, that’s probably for the best. But if Stone Boy doesn’t join the Legion, it means that Night Girl or Polar Boy now get a chance to join, right?
Right?
Aaaaany day now.
Next we have a Superboy story. Not particularly significant, if not for a couple of interesting ideas.
First, Superboy keeps a collection of Red Kryptonite with neat labels details the effects it had on him and/or Krypto:
The second interesting detail needs some introduction.
Superboy comes a cross some Red Kryptonite that turns him into a giant for a few pages. But when he turns back to his regular size…
…which puts his secret identity into jeopardy. Somehow.
Clark’s solution? Make sure there’s a giant Superboy running around…
…which is actually Colossal Boy.
That second interesting idea I was talking about? Superboy keeps a spare indestructible uniform AND a Superboy face-mask at the Legion clubhouse, at all times!
Where DID he get that spare indestructible uniform, though?
Legion significance: 1/10
Technically speaking it’s the first story where the Legion learns about the existence of the Subs, but it’s not particularly significant since they already knew each member individually.
Silver Age-ness: 2/10
Considering we have to allow for some weirdness with the Legion setting anyway, this isn’t particularly weird stuff for DC.
Does it stand the test of time? 6/10
The tests are a little rushed, but they are still pretty creative, if a bit formulaic. Stone Boy winning the contest, while a nice idea, doesn’t really feel like a deserved victory.
We are legion
9 active in this story: Brainiac 5, Bouncing Boy, Sun Boy, Saturn Girl, Superboy, Lightning Lad, Chameleon Boy, Cosmic Boy, Colossal Boy
11 not appearing but officially members
1 honorary member: Elastic Lad
How much Legion is too much?
Since Stone Boy didn’t join, the Legion still includes 21 people.
Interesting letters: how did Superboy keep his superpowers under a blue sun:
Yes, that’s a letter from E. Nelson Bridwell, the DC continuity guru and future writer.
I have always love the LSH. I was first exposed to them in my childhood through the DC digests. It’s only more so now that I question my adoration, or at least the writers’ behind the team. First, when you are a super-authorized-grouo patrolling the galaxy or universe, why wouldn’t you accept as many Legionnaires as possible. There were often stories about how so and so was away on another mission, or their ranks low due to something. With regard to the Subs, take them all. In fact all the rejects were often harshly dismissed, and often these potential heroes turned to villainy and put themselves at risk by going on their own. They eventually had the Academy but aside from writers not wanting to have too many characters to write, instead of giving rejected applicants old flying belts aka the LSH’s trash, put them all in training. The LSH rule that only one Legionnaire with a certain power can be in the team – except Supergirl, Superboy, Mon-El and the lightning twins – is ridiculous. Again, there are criminals everywhere – so many a planet is made into a prison – and cosmic level threats, but you won’t accept Greg Mallor because his cousin is a member. Dynamo Boy is rejected because he had artificial powers, despite the fact that they might be beneficial. At the very least let him have contributed by working with Brainiac 5 – whose super-intelligence caused mayhem and murder – he and Hank Pym should really have a cross company team-up. Anyway, I have always loved the Subs so it’s nice to at least see they get recognition here. I was just a child but i loathed how they were portrayed starting with that special. Also, with Night Girl, just have her team up with one of the Shadow cousins.