SUPERBOY 101 (1962)
by Robert Bernstein and George Papp
Cover by Curt Swan
I knew from Action Comics 296 that I should review this one.
What I didn’t know is just how insane it gets!
It starts normal enough, with some fake ice-cream vendors kidnapping dogs.
Then we move to an alien dog digging dinosaur bones to impress a poodle.
And we finally get to the dog having body issues.
Krypto easily spots the dog-nappers, realizing they’re not real dog-catchers.
What does Krypto think about “real” dog-catchers? Does he think they only catch dogs that have broken the law? This raises SO many questions!
Krypto’s plan is to expose the dog-nappers by playing dead.
By which I mean faking radiation poisoning. (!!!)
This isn’t even the first time we see poor Krypto almost killed by Kryptonite!
Also, I absolutely love the fact that Kryptonite was so ubiquitous during the Silver Age that seeing a chunk of it just laying around is a normal occurrence.
So far a rather normal story for the Silver Age, but it gets better. Because instead of the normal criminal scheme of holding Krypto for ransom…
…especially once they discover the Kryptonite is fake…
…these masterminds decide to con the super-dog!
Specifically, they offer to transform Krypto into whatever breed he chooses!
All he needs is to dig a tunnel that leads to the Smallville bank, which Krypto can easily do.
Krypto can hardly wait, dreaming about how awesome his life would be if he was a collie.
And the criminals manage to fool him with a mirror and “a 3-D projector”.
Sounds legit.
On his way to a second chance with the poodle, Krypto loses his cape. I find it hilarious that the alien dog who can travel through time on his own needs help to put on his cape.
And I guess we’re supposed to think that Krypto is an ugly dog, by the way everyone treats him.
If it was coming only from the owners of purebred dogs, I could understand if they’re snobs about it. But even Lana Lang is body shaming this poor dog!
Well, at least he gets some revenge on the dog-nappers.
And only NOW, believe it or not, the story gets reeeeally weird.
First Krypto flies through a mysterious red cloud that conveniently turns him into a collie.
Turns out it’s Red Kryptonite, which in addition to changing his breed has… “another effect”.
What effect? Well, as Superboy explains, this particular kind of Red Kryptonite transforms you into whatever you’re thinking about at the moment.
Now… you could wonder why Superboy, of all people, would be wishing for dragon wings.
But I guarantee you that you’ll be far too busy thinking about the fact that Krypto was changed into a female dog… and GAVE BIRTH.
Never has the sentence “this raises so many questions” been so inadequate!!!
Did he turn into a pregnant dog? Or was he just turned into a female dog and got busy? If so, how fast do Kryptonian dogs breed?
If he was turned into a pregnant dog, was Krypto thinking about a pregnant Lady (the legally-distinct-from-Lassie dog)? Or was he thinking about impregnating her?
Does this work only for Kryptonian dogs? Can Superman fly through the same space cloud and come back as a pregnant woman?
Also: Superboy has issues.
Why does Krypto need to change name? Why does she need to wear a bow? Who on Earth (or Krypton) gives a dog perfume?
And is he seriously leaving these super-pups unsupervised!?
Again: Superboy has issues.
But we’re at the last page so we have to wrap this up. Which isn’t hard, since the effects of Red Kryptonite are temporary.
Including the puppies!
Sooo… to recap: Krypto got a sex change, gave birth, got ANOTHER sex change and lost all of her puppies. He must be utterly devasted by this.
Or not.
The Silver Age, man. The Silver Age.
Historical significance: 10/what the…?
Krypto is the first-ever genderfluid pregnant interracial alien superhero.
Silver Age-ness: ∞/10
There cannot be a more Silver Age story. If a more Silver Age-y story came into existence, the entire multiverse would collapse into a singularity of insanity.
EDIT: this was the first review to break into infinity, but it’s happened multiple times. Some are even multiples of infinity!
Does it stand the test of time?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯