ADVENTURE COMICS 322 (1964)
by Edmond Hamilton & John Forte
Oh good, Proty II has graduated to the cover. I’m sure this means this is a quality issue.
The Legion is still worried about the Time Trapper, focusing on creating weapons to fight him.
Preferably, they shouldn’t also have the potential to destroy the universe like last issue.
After taking the time to highlight Light Lass changing her symbol, Superboy points out that someone should guard their headquarters while they work on the weapons.
Considering the Legion already has 20 active members you’d think they would be enough, but no, apparently this is a job best suited for the Legion of Super-Pets.
Saturn Girl gives them telepathic powers… SOMEHOW.
Weirdly enough, Comet the Super-Horse should already be a telepath. But even more weirdly, Proty II wants to join…
…but Comet has a retort: “You’re just a piece of s#it”.
I instantly love Comet.
We get the origin of Proty’s people, the Proteans.
Which involves climate change caused by a passing star altering the orbit of their planet, as well as an “evolution beam”.
The Super-Pets agree to let Proty II join their team if he passes their initiation test, which involves fooling the rest of the Legion with its Superboy impression.
He passes the test by recovering the rare element that Superboy was supposed to give them, by transforming into a John Forte alien.
Next test: fooling Saturn Girl into believing he’s Chameleon Boy!
He does so by pretending to be Chameleon Boy who is pretending to be Proty, instead of being Proty who is pretending to be Chameleon Boy who is pretending to be Proty.
Next test: convince the Legion to stay out of their own headquarters for a whole hour.
Proty’s solution: build a huge contraption that is supposed to look like a weapon.
Soo… are we still considering him a pet if he can build this on his own? Not to mention the fact that he can talk flawlessly!?
To be more precise, Proty’s “plan” is to play dead.
Okay, so maybe he IS a pet.
By the way, the plan works.
Well Brainiac 5 should be able to tell that it’s a fake, right? Right?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?
*groan*
Last test: catch Krypto!
Okay, FINALLY a challenge that I believe was created by a pet.
I didn’t think it was possible, but Proty wearing an anti-gravity belt looks even worse than usual.
It’s an impossible task, but luckily Krypto discovers a chest full of Kryptonite and is almost eaten by a shark. (WTF!?!?)
Proty saves him, securing his place in the Legion of Super-Pets.
Well… that was pointless.
Legion significance: 0/10
Unsurprisingly, since this is barely a Legion story. The history of Antares will become important way, WAY later, but this story has basically zero impact on it.
Silver Age-ness: 7/10
The Legion of Super-Pets is Silver Age enough on its own, but it’s the random Kryptonite that elevates it a little.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
My hatred of Proty aside, this is very, VERY formulaic and full of contrivances.
We are legion
11 Legionnaires active in this story: Mon-El, Superboy, Phantom Girl, Sun Boy, Lightning Lad, Brainiac 5, Light Lass, Mon-El, Saturn Girl, Chameleon Boy, Ultra Boy
9 not shown but officially members
1 reserve member: Bouncing Boy
1 resigned member: Dream Girl
1 honorary member: Elastic Lad
How much Legion is too much?
Legion has 19 active members. The total number of characters who have been members is 22.