LOIS LANE #41 (1963)
“The Devil and Lois Lane!” – writer unknown, penciler Kurt Schaffenberger
“The Super-Suitor of Soomar!” – writer unknown, Kurt Schaffenberger
” Superman’s Romance with Lana Lane! ” – writer unknown, penciler Curt Swan
According to the cover, Superman is simultaneously cheating on Lois with Lana and on Lana with Lois. Sounds about right.
But before that: one of the stories where Lois marries Satan!
Yes. “Stories”. This happened MULTIPLE TIMES.
I mean, it’s not that surprising since Satan was her boyfriend in college.
Okay, to be fair, Lois used to date a guy who is currently playing Satan in a play.
The real Satan shows up later, and she mixes them up.
If you mix up one of your exes with Satan, what does it say about your love life?
Lois foolishly signs the contract to sell her soul to become Superman’s wife, only to discover that this is the real Satan. Who collects souls in a glass cube.
And then she thinks she has hallucinated the entire thing!
Why does this keep happening!? This is such a recurring theme that I’m beginning to think that people in the 60s really DID imagine whole conversations on a regular basis!
Superman then saves Lois from an exploding volcano (must be Tuesday) and he proposes to her.To be fair, Lois DOES warn him that it’s because of Satan, but he doesn’t listen.
Lois isn’t happy about having sold her soul to Satan… for about five minutes.
She won’t be so happy once she discovers that SHE’S MARRYING A PSYCOPATH:
You see, he overheard Lois joking with her ex that she’d sell her soul to marry Superman, and BASED ON THAT ALONE he decided to psychologically torture her!
And to twist the knife, “Satan” tells Lois that she’ll lose her soul 5 minutes after marrying Superman…
…all just to convince Lois to call off the wedding!
All of this to punish Lois for a joke she made!
But not only Lois calls off the wedding: she also calls out Superman on his bulls#it!
I’m disappointed the bouquet isn’t made of Kryptonite, because f#ck this ###hole!!!!
But unfortunately Lois has been completely brainwashed by Satan Superman, and she reverts to her usual obsession.
Holy crap. I’m used to Superman being The Worst in this period… but this might be the worst Superman story I’ve ever read.
Next story: scientists from planet Soomar send a spaceship for Superman (since they have a red sun and he doesn’t have powers there).
Lois naturally takes his place, and she meets an alien reporter that looks almost identical to her… according to the dialogue, at least. I don’t see it.
Soomar has its own superhero: the awfully dressed “Super Male”.
Complete with a Clark Kent analogue. Is it a ripoff if you’re ripping off your own characters?
A more apt name would be “Super Stalker”, though, because he’s relentlessly after the blonde reporter even when she’s absolutely not interested in him.
I can’t tell if the comic is taking his side or not.
But conveniently for the plot suddenly the alien reporter feels sick.
You knew this was going to happen the second Lois mentioned that they look similar: she takes a wig and glasses to take her place.
While impersonating the alien reporter, Lois lives in her house. This has nothing to do with the rest of the plot but I’m bringing it up because the house has a robot servant called “Super-Clown”.
No, there is absolutely no reason given WHY it’s called “Super-Clown”.
Lois writes her thoughts on a journal (which is transcribed on a fax because this is an alien planet): she fantasizes about conning Super Male to propose, only to take the pleasure of rejecting him.
Just in case you thought Superman was the only awful person in this comic.
This ends up with Super Male reading only part of the journal, thinking that the alien reporter actually wants him to propose…
…meaning Super Male is now rejecting her because she’s not disgusted by him but she’s actually in love… (WTF!?)
…and the reporter is now interested in him exclusively because he’s not interested anymore.
Okay, that didn’t come close to the dumpster fire of the first story, but this was horrendous.
Let’s see if we can redeem this abomination with the third story, which begins with Superman showing pictures of his latest side-chick to Lois and Lana.
The entire thing is shown as a flashback because Lois and Lana are forced to remember an adventure they shared and forgot.
The flashback shows their vacation to planet Zermb, where they immediately get cursed.
The curse fuses Lois Lane and Lana Lang into a single woman… Lana Lane.
Fortunately, Superman has his priorities straight.
But wait, what about the countless times Superman has said he would never, ever marry?
“Who cares, she’s hot.” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
All seems good, but *choke* the fusion is temporary and both women will die!
But wait! If you’re holding a dragonette (whatever that is), you can save one of them!
I’d be very, VERY surprised to find out the writer wasn’t on drugs.
“Lana Lane” splits into the two women, but one of them will die in minutes if Superman doesn’t act. Who will Superman save?
I love it that Lana is saying “save me because you’ve known me for a long time”, while Lois is saying “save me because you owe me a favor”.
Superman carefully considers his feelings for both women, weighting them with all the other factors including their families, their jobs, their effect on the world at large, and…
Just kidding. He flips a coin.
Well, to be fair, he also melts a rock.
Except neither work: the rock is useless and Superman melts the coin.
And these two are STILL arguing about who should die!!!
Superman is ready to make his announcement…
…but he doesn’t need to, because we’re at the last page and we need to wrap this up.
Can I flip a coin on who of these three can die? Any one of them would make me happy.
Historical significance: 0/10
Thank God, who would want these stories to have an impact!?
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
I don’t have to explain this one, right?
Does it stand the test of time?
First story: -20/10
Negative scores are reserved for hateful stories. This abomination goes below the previous record holder of -15/10 of Lois Lane 23.
Second story: -15/10
The moral of the story is “you should only be interested in people who are disgusted by you”, which is… not entirely unusual for the Silver Age, but this time it comes with zero redeeming factors.
Third story: -1/10
It’s less awful than the first two, but Superman deciding to marry because Lana Lane is hot after HUNDREDS of issues where he keeps going on an on about why he can’t get married… not as much as the others, but still enough for a negative score.
Stupid Lois Lane moment
First story: Obviously, forgetting Superman in the very last panel.
Second story: Lois is given ONE instruction by the alien reporter: don’t show interest in Super Male. She ends up making him think she wants to marry him.
Third story: Hears “don’t touch this cursed jewel, it’s cursed”. Proceeds to touch the jewel.
Interesting letters: I think the editor is dismissing the idea that all the possible choices are horrible people.
