ADVENTURE COMICS 355 (1967)
“The War of the Legions!” by Jim Shooter & Curt Swan
“The Six-Legged Legionnaire” by Otto Binder & Curt Swan
Second part of the Adult Legion storyline. Is it just me or Superman looks more than a little ridiculous here?
Last time we learned that the Legion of Super-Villains was responsible for Ferro Lad’s twin brother becoming evil and infiltrating the Legion.
Wow, even in the recap that sounds really stupid.
Meanwhile Superman returns to the past. Intriguingly, time travel has become so common that are dedicated time lanes.
And AGAIN with the “Kryptonian babootch” thing!?
Worst. Catchphrase. EVER.
The Legion of Super-Villains (or LSV for short) has kidnapped Brainiac 5, and they update the Legion on this with the predictable level of subtlety.
I can’t get over how ridiculous these guys look as adults. Okay these costumes were already ridiculous to begin with (looking at you, Element Lad!), but this is just goofy.
Cosmic Man (ugh) is ambushed by the LSV’s latest member, Echo.
I’m pretty sure we never saw Echo again. Cosmic Man (ugh) defeats him by magnetizing air.
Sounds legit.
Next: Saturn Woman vs Saturn Queen!
Luckily for her, our resident Titan is a much better telepath.
Also she’s still a badass.
Next is Lightning Man (ugh) versus Lighting Lord!
This one is definitely underwhelming.
Then we have Polar Man (ugh) vs Beauty Blaze, who despite a pretty cool design will never appear again.
Still no idea why it took him to long to get into the Legion. The guy’s a pro!
And finally we have the battle of the elementals: Element Man (ugh) versus Cosmic King.
This one also ends with a brawl, but with the added element (pun intended) of including the use of transmutation to counteract Cosmic King’s moves.
The LSV has been defeated, so story over right?
No, because it turns out that the Legion has been fighting solid holograms the whole time.
What the… what sense does THAT make!?
Okay, it’s a callback to last issue’s sort-of-teleportation technology… but did it also create Beauty Blaze’s fire? Did it replicate Saturn Queen’s telepathy? Did the holograms change the lab into plutonium for Cosmic King!?!?
The Legion is ambushed when they try to save Brainiac 5, but they are rescued by… someone.
You might think that one of these guys is Ferro Lad’s twin (who disappeared after last issue!!!), but no, unfortunately not.
No, these guys are… Luthor and Mr. Mxyzptlk!?!?
No, wait, these are their 30th century descendants!? WHAT!?
WHAT!?!?
Okay… Jim Shooter was 14 at the time so I hope this wasn’t written on drugs, but what the hell kind of ending was that!??!
Let’s move to something that makes more sense: Insect Queen.
We begin with Lana Lang almost catching Superboy changing clothes into Clark Kent, but refraining from peeking. Good for her!
As a reward for that, Superboy takes her to meet the Legion.
The Legion is having a meeting, so Superboy ditches her. She could take the opportunity to study the 30th century, but she prefers to return to her identity of Insect Queen.
She even manages to save the lives of a couple of Legionnaires by a very disgusting use of her Cronenbergian transformations.
This gives her the idea to become a Legionnaire!
Despite giving a couple of demonstrations that would make any criminal throw up for hours…
…she’s rejected. Nominally for the “no mechanical powers” rule, but they probably don’t want to throw up for hours during every mission.
Dream Girl warns her not to turn into a moth, ensuring that she will turn into a moth before the end of the story.
The Legion has another emergency: Oggar-Kon, yet another a criminal with a horrible name coming from a civilization without the death penalty.
Except this guy ends up on Earth, and he’s trouble because he’s yet another villain with transmutation powers.
While the rest of the Legion deals with his minions, Superboy has to SUDDEN KRYPTONITE!
Apparently the only thing that can save him is a monstrous abomination shaped like a moth, or something.
I guess this might be helpful, but if the problem is that the Kryptonite dust is sticking to his costume why don’t you just take off Superboy’s costume!?
Am I supposed to believe that LANA LANG wouldn’t be interested in that!? Come on!!!
This works, but Lana SOMEHOW loses the ring because of this. (WTF?)
Chameleon Boy chases the villain (I refuse to write his stupid name again), by turning into a hawk, however SUDDEN EAGLE!
When I started to read this story I did not expect a fight between an eagle and a flying octopus, but that’s the Silver Age for you.
And hey, finally Chameleon Boy ACTUALLY DOES SOMETHING!!!
Unfortunately Lana is stuck in insect form because Superboy, I repeat SUPERBOY, can’t find her ring!
Actually no, it was in his pocket all along. Since he’ll grow up to be The Worst, what are the odds that he did this on purpose just to mess with her?
And that’s enough to make Insect Queen a reserve member!
Seriously? What does she bring to the table!?
Legion significance
First story: 0/10
No, thank Potter almighty this WON’T be integrated into future Legion stories!!!
Second story: 2/10
Insect Queen being a reserve member will be mentioned a couple of times here and there, but she’s basically a footnote in Legion history.
Silver Age-ness
First story: 10/10
This could’ve been rather average, but holy crap is that ending Silver Age.
Second story: 5/10
Nothing particularly weird for the time.
Does it stand the test of time?
First story: 0/10
The beginning was promising but the garbage ending is absolutely unforgivable. Come on Shooter, you’re FAR better than this!
Second story: 6/10
At least this one makes SOME sense. It’s not terribly interesting, or even good for that matter, but it’s not hard to see ways to adapt this.
We are legion
23 Legionnaires
2 reserve member: Kid Psycho, Insect Queen
1 resigned member: Command Kid
1 honorary member: Elastic Lad
1 expelled member: Nemesis Kid
2 deceased members: Dynamo Boy and Ferro Lad
How much Legion is too much?
The total number of characters who have been members is 30.
Interesting letters: despite this letter, I still maintain that Pete Ross is not a honorary member at this moment because it’s not been confirmed in the story itself.
Also this makes no sense: they made Pete vote for the election but not for Star Boy’s trial? Jimmy Olsen voted, and he’s a honorary member.
I’m glad there was some backlash to the stupid ending of Adventure Comcis #351.
This letter points out many of the problems of the early Legion. It’s interesting that point 1 in particular will be solved by the introduction of Interlac relatively soon.
