ADVENTURE COMICS 364 (1968)
by Jim Shooter & Pete Costanza
Well… I’m sure this will be a dignified story.
A little fanservice for the ladies.
As if the cover wasn’t enough of a disclaimer about what this story is about… it begins with the Legion of Super-Pets frolicking in space.
They do save Earth from some alien machines…
…but their efforts are not exactly appreciated by the Non-Pet Legion.
The Legion follows the trail left by the machines, but they order the pets to guard their HQ.
Only Brainiac 5 could get into an argument with a horse.
Well, actually Comet is not really a horse, in case you don’t know.
The Silver Age doesn’t get much more Silver Age than Comet, folks.
Serious Krypto is serious.
Although his claim that him and Beppo are responsible for Superboy surviving Krypton’s explosion is a little overblown (pun intended).
It’s only that Jor-El just couldn’t stop shooting stuff into space.
We’ve already seen the origin of Proty II, but while he does have a claim about being more than an ordinary pet… Streaky really is just a regular cat. With superpowers.
Saturn Girl has been hearing their whole conversation, because it turns out that she’s the one to give them telepathy. Because she can do that apparently. (WTF?)
So the Super-Pets end up on a planet that worships them.
The Legionnaires return from their mission; they haven’t been able to find the origin of the machines, so they go after the Super-Pets to recover them.
Their reaction is hilarious. Except for the cat, which is 100% realistic.
Awwww.
Then Chameleon Boy tries to do to Proty II what I’ve always wanted to do since the first time we’ve met this little ####.
The battle between Chameleon Boy and Proty II is even lamer than I feared.
But an angry dog with Superboy’s powers is adequately terrifying.
Oh, hi 1960s sexism! I didn’t expect to see you here!
Not the Legion’s proudest moment.
But the Super-Pets STILL aren’t over, because they decide to infiltrate the Legion!
And Comet is going as well, since his name comes from the fact that he turns back into a human whenever there’s a convenient comet around.
So they audition as Blockade Boy and “Biron the Bow”, who looks suspiciously like someone Supergirl once met.
And yes, we will eventually get to the infamous “Supergirl dates her horse” story.
Blockade Boy actually died in Adventure Comics #345, but Proty II claims to be his brother.
And both join the Legion! (WTF!?!?)
Brainiac 5 is so embarrassed by this that he turns pink.
Once they join the Legion, however, they learn that they’re not plotting anything about the Super-Pets.
They also investigate the origin of the machines that attacked Earth. They vanished once the Legion followed them.
And since they reached the planet where they’re being worshiped by teleportation, I assume nobody else in the universe has that technology.
The Legion comes to help as well.
And mercifully it turns out that the Legionnaires didn’t fall for the fake audition trick.
You can practically hear the laugh track playing during this finale.
Well… that was stupid, but it’s not like I was expecting anything better.
Legion significance: 0/10
Let’s just say the Legion doesn’t talk much about the Super-Pets in general.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
How could it possibly be anything else?
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
There are Silver Age stories that, while goofy and silly, still have a lot of charm and are hide several layers of complexity beneath the surface.
This is not one of those.
We are legion
23 Legionnaires
2 reserve members: Kid Psycho, Insect Queen
2 honorary members: Elastic Lad, Rond Vidar
1 resigned member: Command Kid
1 expelled member: Nemesis Kid
2 deceased members: Dynamo Boy, Ferro Lad
How much Legion is too much?
The total number of characters who have been members is 31.
And no, I’m not counting either Comet or Proty II.
Interesting letters: I have no idea what “mutants breed true” means.
The origin of the tradition of letting the readers elect the Legion’s leader.
