ADVENTURE COMICS 378 (1969)
by Jim Shooter & Win Mortimer
cover by Curt Swan & Neal Adams
Yet another fantastic cover thanks to Neal Adams.
It’s the birthday of Brainiac 5, and one of the gifts is the first appearance of kono juice!
It will become THE trademark beverage of Legion stories. Sometimes treated like soda, sometimes as alcohol.
Brainiac 5 is shown to be a little paranoid.
And for good reason!
I don’t know enough chemistry to know for certain that this chart is nonsense, but I feel like it is.
It’s pretty clever, I’ll admit. Although it also means that Superboy’s super-senses are pretty much useless if he didn’t smell or taste anything.
So these Legionnaires now only have 12 hours to live. But not if Brainiac 5 has anything to say about it!
Superboy has been told plenty of times that he’ll grow up to be Superman, so he should know as much as Brainiac 5 that it’s impossible for him to die right now.
But he doesn’t realize it, instead going back to Smallville to figure out that he’s never appreciated his home town or Lana.
Sad Superboy is sad.
So he goes back to the 30th century, keeping himself busy doing stuff like punching some glaciers on Mars.
Duo Damsel asks herself why the Legion keeps her around. It’s becoming increasingly difficult for the writers to give her anything to do.
She passes the time keeping company to her rarely seen parents.
Karate Kid wants to go down in a blaze of glory, instead of just waiting to die.
So he tracks down the Fatal Five (!!!!) to take down the entire team on his own. (!!!!)
Taking down Mano is one thing…
…and I can see him defeating Persuader on his own…
…but this is just ridiculous!!!
Come on!!! I can understand defeating two members, but this is getting out of control!
Okay if he defeats VALIDUS I’m out.
THANKFULLY he doesn’t. He just tricks Validus into missing the shot (which isn’t too hard, since Validus is almost brainless). And he would’ve died if Tharok didn’t decide to order a retreat.
I wouldn’t have forgiven this comic if Karate Kid defeated the Fatal Five on his own.
But him causing the destruction of their base is a little more acceptable.
Princess Projectra is also looking for a way to cope with her approaching death.
Even watching a 30th century porno isn’t enough.
Going for a walk, she meets Steve Ditko’s Peter Parker a guy we’ve never met before, Myron Marks, that gives her a philosophical pep talk.
He appears only in these three panels and, as far as I know, never appears again.
I get the distinct feeling that he’s based on someone specific, but my research came up short.
The countdown is almost over, and the soon-to-be-dead Legionnaires decide to write their last will.
Interestingly, Brainiac 5 leaves his patents to Legion. I wonder if he ever changed his will in future stories?
(spoiler alert: he doesn’t die in this story)
Everyone begins to die. Ladies first.
As Superboy and Karate Kid also suffer the first effects, Brainiac 5 has an idea: the Miracle Machine!
YOU DIDN’T THINK OF THIS BEFORE!?
All the Legionnaires are down, and a mysterious figure shows up… only to be frozen in time.
Despite the superficial similarity, this guy doesn’t turn out to be Myron Marks.
And that’s our cliffhanger! We’ll see in the next issue how the Legionnaires survived.
Legion significance: 1/10
Kono juice!!! And little else.
Silver Age-ness: 3/10
The length they have to go through to make the poison work on Superboy is astounding.
Does it stand the test of time? 7/10
The setup is a little too quick and Karate Kid being able to cause so much trouble to the Fatal Five strain credibility, but otherwise it’s a solid character study.
We are legion
26 Legionnaires
2 reserve members: Kid Psycho, Insect Queen
3 honorary members: Elastic Lad, Pete Ross, Rond Vidar
1 resigned member: Command Kid
1 expelled member: Nemesis Kid
2 deceased members: Dynamo Boy, Ferro Lad
How much Legion is too much?
The total number of characters who have been members is 35.
Interesting letters: can you believe that Ultra Boy’s leadership is already almost over? He’s done absolutely nothing with it.
