ACTION COMICS 382 (1969)
by Jim Shooter & Win Mortimer
The teaser page shows a really inconsequential part of the story, but it’s not like there were better alternatives.
We begin with Ultra Boy being attacked by a random robot while he’s out shopping.
This was all a publicity stunt for an industrialist named Cosvarr, who wants to sell robots to the United Planets.
He even shows up at Legion HQ to show the same pitch to the heroes, just to show them that his Protectors ™ will make them obsolete.
Okay Cosvarr is a bit of a jackass, but there’s no reason to jump to the conclusion that this would start an arms race!
This is the beginning of Karate Kid’s run as Legion leader, and his first instinct would be to dump this on someone else. So we’re off to a good start.
Cosvarr is totally not a supervillain. His second-in-command Zorla, though…
Light Lass goes undercover pretending to be a billionaire who wants to buy some Protectors ™, and Cosvarr immediately spills the beans on their origins.
Apparently Cosvarr captured Superboy and Mon-El off-panel (!!!!) and has been experimenting on them while they’re unconscious (!!!!) to artificially duplicate their powers into his robots.
Cosvarr is a bit of a sleazeball. Light Lass’s utter disinterest in his backstory made me laugh.
Meanwhile, Shrinking Violet has infiltrated Cosvarr’s base inside a rivet. (!!!)
And Timber Wolf by disguising himself as a local worker thanks to a “chameloid costume”.
Despite his brilliant disguise Timber Wolf is almost caught, and when Karate Kid shows up to save him the two are forced to fight to fool Zorla.
It doesn’t work: Zorla is able to capture them.
She also stops Cosvarr from betraying her for the undercover Light Lass.
Okay… this is a 11 page story, and we’re up to page 10.
Here is the situation: Zorla has captured four Legionnaires, and even if they know where to find Superboy and Mon-El she still has her army of Protectors ™.
You’d expect her to either:
A) unleash the robots against the Legion powerhouses and hope for the best
B) try to escape
Instead… THIS is page 11:
SHE JUST BLEW HERSEF UP FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON!!!
Also: how the hell did the Legionnaires survive!?
Legion significance: 0/10
You would expect the Protectors ™ to show up again, but no.
Silver Age-ness: 8/10
Yes, everybody except the bad guys survived the nuclear blast. Sure.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
This was just awful. There’s a lot of potential intrigue and Cosvarr could’ve worked as a sleazy background villain, but Zorla had to ruin everything by nuking the last page!!!
We are legion
26 Legionnaires
2 reserve members: Kid Psycho, Insect Queen
3 honorary members: Elastic Lad, Pete Ross, Rond Vidar
1 resigned member: Command Kid
1 expelled member: Nemesis Kid
2 deceased members: Dynamo Boy, Ferro Lad
How much Legion is too much?
The total number of characters who have been members is 35.
Interesting letters: it’s always fascinating to read opinions about the Legion costumes knowing what will happen in the 70s.
Also: was there really confusion about how to pronounce “Mon-El”?
