JIMMY OLSEN 105 (1967)
by Otto Binder & Pete Costanza
Cover by Curt Swan
As bad as Earth can be, at least we don’t have 1,000 Jimmy Olsens.
We jump straight into the action: Jimmy is summoned by an astronomer who has discovered an “Olsen Asteroid” and is immediately disintegrated for it!
I’m sorry, did I say action? I meant insanity.
Jokes aside, things seem pretty serious if someone is going through this much to hide the discovery.
I often have that facial expression when I read one of your stories, Jimmy.
Turns out the astronomer called this “Asteroid Olsen” because it’s populated by Jimmys.
Also: that’s some crazy resolution for a telescope!
Jimmy calls Superman with his Signal Watch, but amazingly he’s busy doing something heroic. For once.
No matter: a flying saucer shows up to bring Jimmy to the asteroid.
Holy jumping catfish! (????)
Hmmm. Maybe I misjudged Asteroid Olsen. Its citizens seem to be great people.
Unfortunately for them, nobody can beat up Jimmy Olsens better than Jimmy Olsen.
The Jimmy Olsens gang up on Jimmy Olsen, however he’s saved by Jimmy Olsens.
Everybody got that?
I hope so, because after the Jimmy Olsens have saved Jimmy Olsen from the Jimmy Olsens, they are attacked by a giant Jimmy Olsen.
But the Jimmy Olsens are not the only Jimmy Olsen allies: there’s also Jimmy Olsen.
At this point the words “Jimmy Olsen” have lost all meaning.
After we saw Jimmy Olsen in drag, not once but twice, it was all a matter of time until we got the gender-bent version.
She gets to arrest him and put him in jail, so maybe his female version isn’t so bad.
In the Silver Age, the only requirement for being a Senator was growing a beard.
As a guy with a beard: EWWWW.
Taken out of context, this panel makes nearly as much sense as in context.
Hey I thought we were done with Jimmy Olsen saving Jimmy Olsen from Jimmy Olsen!
Well, at least now Jimmy Olsen will be able to look like any other Jimmy Olsen.
AND THIS IS HIS FIRST CHOICE.
And so we are finally at the point where we learn about the origins of Asteroid Olsen.
And why did Tempus build this society? Because he wants to turn the asteroid into a giant clock to crash it into Earth. (!!!!)
And the androids needed to be Jimmy Olsen replicas because… you know what, I don’t really want to know why would anyone make a female robot version of Jimmy.
Also let’s not talk about the fact that if Earth looks THIS BIG from the asteroid, the planet is already f#ked.
So I guess there wasn’t a reason to build both “good” and “bad” androids, right?
Also: ARE they good? Because when Superman shows up, he has to fight Jimmy Olsen.
I’m sorry, I should probably clarify: not the Jimmy Olsens that were trying to murder Jimmy Olsen, but the Jimmy Olsens who tried to save Jimmy Olsen from the Jimmy Olsens.
You mean to tell me that WASN’T the real Superman? Why, I may start to think that this comic is really confusing!
Everybody in favor of not discussing Jimmy’s gun?
Instead of just throwing this asteroid into the Sun, Superman decides to leave it intact.
Because if he has to suffer being near Jimmy Olsen, the entire universe must suffer as well.
Historical significance: 0/10
I hope we never see this planet again.
Silver Age-ness: 1,000/10
Virtually nothing makes sense in this comic unless your mind is completely immersed in Silver Age tropes. And even then…
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
Jokes aside, a planet full of Jimmy’s duplicates has potential. But there should be a reason for… well ANYTHING.
Stupid Jimmy Olsen moment
“A guy was just disintegrated in front of me by a space laser, but sure I’ll jump on this flying saucer, what’s the worst that could happen?”