STRANGE TALES 116 (1963)
by Stan Lee & Dick Ayers
cover by Jack Kirby
This is one of the weirdest ways I’ve ever seen drawing the Thing.
As seen on page one, the story is “Based upon an idea by Tommy and Jimmy Goodkind”… whoever they are.
The Thing is here because the villain is the Puppet Master, his girlfriend Alicia’s stepfather.
Last time we saw him on Fantastic Four he was presumed dead after being attacked by a giant octopus.
This issue explains how he survived. I would’ve bet on his mind control powers, but “emergency dynamos” on his submarine works too.
And the Puppet Master wastes no time controlling the Human Torch to go after Alicia.
Considering the Torch will eventually marry what he thought was Alicia (looooooong story there), it’s amazing that this was being considered as a plot all the way back in 1963.
And that’s the setup: the Puppet Master wants the Thing to kill the Human Torch.
Which is going to be very hard because he doesn’t have “an asbestos crying towel”. (WTF!?)
Dick Ayers can draw some nice Torch fight scenes, but I don’t think he has a good grasp on how to draw the Thing.
It’s no “crying towel”, but the surprisingly agile Thing does find an asbestos air duct cover.
Points for the Thing being able to win somewhat easily (to be fair, the Torch literally isn’t himself).
Or at least he SHOULD have won by now, but for some reason the Torch manages to break free from the metal sheet even without his flame (HOW!?).
The Thing’s solution is to THROW A WRECKING BALL at him!!!
Which does nothing at all.
Despite the fact that the Puppet Master is ordering them to kill each other, they are still holding back because his control is less effective at a distance.
He must’ve run out of high-tech vehicles because he just takes a cab to Idlewild Airport (which, if you didn’t know, was how JFK Airport used to be called).
And ONLY NOW Alicia realizes that the Puppet Master is behind this.
You know, if my stepfather was a supervillain with mind control powers, that would be my first guess every time someone acts out of character.
You know that you suck at the whole supervillain thing when it’s THIS EASY to find your hideout!
So EVERYBODY is at the airport now, and the Puppet Master orders the Torch to kill himself with what is possibly the longest order ever.
Now… get this:
A) the Torch is able to this without killing himself OR the pilot (WHAT!?)
B) Alicia, WHO IS BLIND AND HAS NO POWERS, can sense where the Torch is and what he’s doing (WHAT!?)
Not only THAT, but she has such a precise idea of the location of everybody that she can tell the Torch where to send his flame to stop her stepfather!
Are we sure she doesn’t have Daredevil’s super-senses!?
Her plan is to create a sheet of fire above the Puppet Master that will burn ONLY the puppet that he’s holding. AND IT WORKS.
The Puppet Master manages to escape, Alicia swears that she only loves the Thing, and we mercifully end this issue.
Alicia, I can understand if you don’t want your stepfather to die, but at least get him arrested!
Historical significance: 0/10
Utterly irrelevant for both the Torch and the Thing (unless you want to count the first time the Torch thinks Alicia is hot).
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
On the Marvel scale, but what the heck was that ending!?
Does it stand the test of time? 3/10
“The Human Torch and the Thing fight each other for 12 pages” should be more fun than this. There is some interesting choreography at the beginning, but everybody becomes WAY too stupid in the second half. And I’m still not convinced Alicia doesn’t have super-senses!
Cancer count: 15
Adding the asbestos air duct cover. Sadly the asbestos crying towel doesn’t actually show up.