Lois Lane 92 – Comics Archeology

LOIS LANE #92 (1969)
by Leo Dorfman & Curt Swan
Cover by Neal Adams

Spoiler alert: this cover is both telling the truth and lying about what you’re going to witness.

We begin with Lois Lane working on a story about an artificial comet.
Considering the cover, I wonder how long it’s going to take for Comet the Super-Horse to show up.

The answer is… the first panel of the second page, where Comet saves Lois from heatstroke after her car died in the middle of the desert.

This is… weird. No, not the fact that the “Steed Of Steel” is a real character, that’s par for the course at this point… the fact that Lois doesn’t know about the existence of the Super-Horse.
From the Supergirl stories I was under the impression that his existence was common knowledge.

Your regularly scheduled reminder that Curt Swan is WAY too good for these stories.

As you might recall Comet turns back into a human if there’s a comet nearby, so he takes refuge in a nearby ghost town. As you do.

Some 1969 fanservice for the ladies.

In addition to some clothes, Comet also finds a magician’s outfit.

Comet doesn’t have powers in human form, so he takes a job as a magician… and obviously he runs into Lois Lane.

We then get a flashback about Comet’s origins, as well as some 1969 fanservice for the mares.

I really want Comet to run into Shazam one day.

Back to the present, Comet still has telepathy despite losing his other powers (WTF!?) and discovers a plot to murder Lois!

Aaand the mystery is resolved next page.

But then, something truly unexpected happens… people talking instead of going through absolutely convoluted plots!!!

Apparently that’s all you need to get Lois Lane to fall in love: tell her your secret identity and be a part-time horse.

Comet, who I remind you can TRAVEL THROUGH TIME WHENEVER HE WANTS, then gives a call to Circe to ask if she can turn him into a human permanently.

Comet… WTF are you doing!?
YOU KNOW Circe can turn you back because she did it in Action Comics #311!
Okay in that story you later asked her to change you into a horse to save Supergirl, but come on!
Both stories are written by Leo Dorfman, did he forget what he wrote 5 years earlier!?

But wait, it gets dumber!
Circe doesn’t hear the spell because she’s away from her cave (????), but her evil nemesis Maldor does!

Specifically, he later shows up to ask Lois to marry him. When she refuses…

Enjoy that panel of Lois being turned into a centaur, because despite the cover there are only TWO panels where she’s a centaur in this entire comic.
As for the rest…

WHY DO ALL MAGIC HORSES HAVE SUPERPOWERS AT DC COMICS!?!?

After Horse Lois saves Biron from some wolves… (???)

…Comet conveniently gets changed into a horse again!

And what the heck is “telepathic vision”????

You might think this would lead to a romance between the two super-horses, but… nope! They’re immune to each other’s telepathy, for some reason.

Okay, so… I don’t want to be crass or anything, but… we can all agree that these two f###ed, right?

That’s well and good but SUDDEN KRYPTONITE!

Super-horses to the rescue!

Then Circe contacts Superman, offering to help. Weird that he immediately trusts her: she’s typically the villain in Superman stories.

Enjoy the second and last panel of Centaur Lois.

Okay, TECHNICALLY you might count this one as a third panel, but she’s in between centaur and horse so I’m not counting that.

Yes, despite the cover Lois doesn’t spend ANY time as a centaur: both times it’s just a throwaway panel while she’s transitioning between horse and human.

The fact that Superman is casually creating a rainbow isn’t unexpected, but the fact Lois forgets about the whole experience really serves no purpose.

Except… I don’t think she actually forgot anything? She still remembers Biron and that he was Comet’s secret identity…unless she only forgot that she once got turned into a horse and f###ed another horse.

Hey, no horse shaming if they’re both consenting quadrupeds.

Historical significance: 0/10
Sadly, Comet does not become her regular love interest.

Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Even if we are technically past the Silver Age by some definitions, stories like this one are the reason why I’m still counting this title as firmly belonging to the era.

Does it stand the test of time? 3/10
This is a dumb story. A very, very dumb story. But it’s probably told better than it deserve to be and it’s DEFINITELY drawn better than it deserves.

Stupid Lois Lane moment
Considering everything she has seen so far… why does the existence of a superpowered horse is so hard to believe!?

Interesting letters: he BEGAN to get the feeling!?