SUPERBOY 213 (1975)
by Jim Shooter & Mike Grell
Don’t get your hopes up: this isn’t the return of the Super Moby Dick Of Space.
We begin with the Legion staging a Last Supper play arguing.
While they talk, somebody infiltrates the HQ by using some nifty gadgets and the ability to transform into seemingly everything.
This is super-thief Benn Pares, who really needs a codename.
He’s such a great burglar that NOBODY has ever heard of him, something that he can’t stand; apparently that’s the reason why he’s targeting the Legion.
He’s quite a threat: in addition to change into anything, he can resist Saturn Girl’s telepathy and apparently has the Spider-Sense.
The Legion takes the threat of someone stealing the Miracle Machine very, VERY seriously.
This is the source of some friction between Legionnaires: some want to destroy the Miracle Machine, while others want to preserve it because it might be useful someday.
We’re not told the results of the vote, but considering what happens I suppose they voted to destroy the Miracle Machine.
The device is kept within a cube of Inertron. This one of the very, VERY few instances where Inertron is not shown to be utterly indestructible.
The Miracle Machine itself, however, is WAY tougher.
Stuff like this is among the reasons why I love the Legion: even the old “throw it into the Sun” is not a catch-all solution!
Since they can’t destroy the Miracle Machine, they decide to test the security measures of the vault where they’re going to keep it.
It’s pretty effective against Phantom Girl, Shrinking Violet and Chameleon Boy.
Even with these extra precautions, the Legionnaires take turns to guard the Miracle Machine as they wait for the deadline given by Benn Pares.
It… doesn’t work out.
The Miracle Machine is still there, but Benn Pares is too big of a threat to leave alone… which I guess the Legion couldn’t figure out the FIRST time he sneaked inside their HQ???
The problem is that he could be anywhere, since they have no real clues.
Except… remember this?
I didn’t until this happened:
Sector 14 has no habitable planets and is full of THESE THINGS.
Which turns out to be correct, because the thief’s secret base is HIDDEN BEHIND THE TEETH OF A GIANT SPACE MONSTER.
Saturn Girl reminds us that she’s the Legion’s MVP by telepathically ordering the monster to open its mouth (!!!)…
… but this triggers Ultra Boy’s PTSD about the time he was eaten by a DIFFERENT gigantic space monster in his origin story.
So… that’s a bit of a hiccup in their plan.
Superboy is watching this with his telescopic vision (!!!) while guarding the Miracle Machine…
…only to find himself teleported right into the thief’s base!!!
Meanwhile Ultra Boy rescues the rest of the team by getting over his fear of gigantic space monsters.
Superboy shows up to help, and we learn what happened: the Miracle Machine captured its own thief!!!
Shrinking Violet has an excellent point, and Brainiac 5 has an equally good answer.
The Miracle Machine must’ve been pretty pissed because we never see Benn Pares ever again.
Moving on to the second tale: a solo story of Timber Wolf.
Jim Shooter was apparently trying to flesh out plots and characters he introduced in his run, because the villain of the story is Black Mace from the not-very-good Adventure Comics #374.
Leave it to Jim Shooter to explore some minutiae of Legion lore to integrate them into a story.
Timber Wolf isn’t the kind of character that tends to win fights with his brain, but luckily for him Black Mace is not particularly bright.
A nice showcase of Grell’s ability to draw dynamic characters.
Unfortunately Black Mace is MORE super-strong than Timber Wolf, plus while not very bright he’s not a complete idiot.
“CLONG” should be used more often as a sound effect.
And so we end with Timber Wolf capturing Black Mace, revealing why he was considered an intruder by the ship. Basically Black Mace lost the second he took the ring from him.
Historical significance
First story: 0/10
In the grand scheme of things, nothing remarkable happens here.
Second story: 0/10
Harmless fluff, really.
Silver Age-ness
First story: 6/10
Giant radioactive space monsters never get old, with the wish-granting machine as a bonus.
Second story: 0/10
Considering the amount of details that get a proper explanation…
Does it stand the test of time?
First story: 8/10
This is a really good story. The only things preventing it from being a 10/10 are that Benn Pares really comes out of nowhere and is ridiculously overpowered, plus the resolution felt kind of rushed.
Second story: 10/10
Yes, it’s not a masterpiece. Yes, it’s just 6 pages. Yes, it has zero impact on anything. But dammit if this isn’t an entertaining little story that you can print in any era!
Good to see that Shooter is finally comfortable with short stories, after struggling with them so much in the Action Comics era.
We are legion
22 Legionnaires
6 reserve members
3 honorary members: Elastic Lad, Pete Ross, Rond Vidar
1 resigned member: Command Kid
1 expelled member: Nemesis Kid
3 deceased members: Dynamo Boy, Ferro Lad, Invisible Kid
How much Legion is too much?
The total number of characters who have been members is 36.
Interesting letters: apparently the Legion was receiving an unusually high number of letters.
Also we have a message from Mike Grell himself regarding Karate Kid’s new look.
