LOIS LANE #101 (1970)
by Leo Dorfman & Irv Novick
cover by Curt Swan
Remember that starting from Lois Lane #80 she is supposed to no longer be obsessed with marrying Superman? It’s working out great!
Also, you have to love the title. “The Super-reckless Lois Lane”, as if that’s something new for her.
We begin with Superman proposing for what feels like the hundred millionth time.
Yeah, right, as if this would actually… holy crap this actually happens!?
For a moment I thought the blonde was Supergirl attending her cousin’s wedding, then I remembered that’s the way Irv Novick (and nobody else) draws Lucy Lane.
Although I have to give Irv some props: it’s still taboo to draw a married couple sharing the same bed, but he still gets across the idea that these two are not thinking about sleeping.
And then some criminals DROP AN ATOM BOMB on Superman’s honeymoon, killing Lois.
Wait, WHAT!?
Well that was anticlimactic.
Historical significance: 0/10
Obviously an imaginary story.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
So a bunch of random Metropolis criminals gets hold of a nuclear missile? HOW!?
Does it stand the test of time? 8/10
Short and to the point, if a little unnecessarily cruel.
Stupid Lois Lane moment
Ruining a perfectly good finale by waking up!
I will never get tired of doing these fake endings.
This was actually the prologue; the actual story begins with Lois and Clark going to interview a scientist doing some experiments on convicts, when SUDDEN HEAD!
Nevermind that. He dies because Superman secretly kills him with his laser eyes mysteriously.
What’s going on? The scientist is testing an invisibility serum that has a very good chance to kill whoever takes it.
So naturally Lois wants to be the next test subject.
The Silver Age relationship between Lois and Clark is… weird.
Most of the time she’s either barely aware that he exists or mocks him relentlessly; 99% of the time he shows absolutely no romantic interest towards her, except the 1% when it’s to cover his secret identity.
And yet sometimes Lois believes he’s madly in love with her!
To be fair, like 50% of Superman characters have fallen in love with Lois at least once, so she’s not that far off.
Good news: the experiment works, so I don’t have to do the fake ending gag twice.
Bad news: Lois is still so obsessed that she considers DEATH a fair price to kiss Superman’s cheek.
Okay, this might sound crazy, but hear me out.
Phase 1) almost get killed for absolutely no good reason
Phase 2) survive out of sheer dumb luck
Phase 3) marriage
AMAZINGLY, this doesn’t work out.
Way back when I started reviewing Lois Lane, I had a category called “Isn’t she supposed to be a journalist?” to track the times she randombly got new jobs.
Now I regret dropping the category.
“If I show him that I have a complete lack of survival instincts he will certainly marry me!”
But okay, Daredevil Lois it is. First client: a guy who dropped jewels from his plane.
WHO EVEN DOES THAT!?
I want you to remember aaaaall the times Superman couldn’t help because he was “busy on a vital mission”. How many of THOSE are just him dressing up as a yeti to scare his stalker?
Does her solution actually kind of make sense, or have I fried too many neurons by reading this comic?
Next up: “the Flying Coffin”, which sadly isn’t about a vampire who wants to take a plane.
Superman blows up a storm with his super-breath (!!!) and he’s stolen her parachute, so when the plane gets out of control how is Lois getting out alive?
THAT’S NOT HOW FLYING WORKS!
Sometimes I call Lois a crazy stalker because it’s funny.
Sometimes I do because how else can you possibly read this!?
Third client: some crazy scientist who wants to inject her body with a radiactive space element.
Why not.
Let’s put aside the magical properties of Element Z. How the heck do you program a computer that tells you “one of these three things is lethal but I won’t say which one”!?!?
Lois jumps into the fire, because of course she does, but Moustache Superman saves her.
If you figured out the third client was Superman, then congratulations, you’re as smart as Lois Lane.
And now, ladies and gentlemen… no, I’m not going to tell you that the story will now begin to be crazy, because we’re already past insanity.
But now is when the story is going to insult your intelligence.
Yes.
NOW.
We can’t have Lois Freaking Lane be smart on her own, right? If she solves two cases it’s because she was accidentally turned smart!!!
I love that Perry White is apparently smoking a cigar beneath his rubber mask.
And so we end with Lois being humiliated once more, and Superman proving once again that he is just. The. Worst. By pointing out that “any NORMAL human fears death”.
And he’s STILL gaslighting her into believing he’s someday going to marry her!!!
You know what, Superman? You deserve having a crazy stalker.
Historical significance: 0/10
It might not be an imaginary tale, but still…
Silver Age-ness: 9/10
There isn’t all that much Silver Age technology (the invisibility serum might even be a precursor to Invisible Kid’s version 1,000 years in the future)… but the premise alone just screams Silver Age.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
Irv Novick’s art has improved a little. He’s no Curt Swan, but I don’t mind him. That is the ONLY positive thing I can possibly say about this comic.
Well… there’s the fact that this is HILARIOUS, but I don’t think it’s on purpose!
Stupid Lois Lane moment
The amount of times she ignores Superman repeating that he doesn’t like her idea is just stunning. I know it’s applicable to the whole series and that he’s the one reinforcing the idea, but… HE’S NOT THAT INTO YOU, LOIS.