Fantastic Four #258

FANTASTIC FOUR #258 (1983)
Writer, penciler & inker: John Byrne

This was publicized as “the best issue that the FF never appeared in”, meaning this is an issue of Fantastic Four entirely dedicated Doctor Doom.
Which is a good thing since without him the cover would apparently be a featureless yellow void.

Jokes aside, the cover is a clever gimmick: you can actually glimpse the first page beneath it. That’s pretty cool!

We begin shortly after Doom has re-conquered Latveria in his last appearance, and we are treated to an absolutely gorgeous two-page spread.

This issue is one of the best glimpses we get on Latveria itself. Notice how most people are shown dressing realistically; a bit old-fashioned perhaps, but they don’t look like this is the 1800s.

It’s also one of the few times where we see actual people doing any sort of public work, instead of letting the robots do everything.

One little detail that is easy to miss is the two old men playing chess, with one of them being distracted by the girl bringing food to the workers.

Also the statue in the town’s plaza is back!

But more important than anything is the look inside Doom’s head, as he’s the one narrating the entire story. Issues like this is why I completely dismiss any interpretation that tells Doom doesn’t actually care about Latveria… but at the same time the story doesn’t shy away from keeping him more than a little creepy.

Before we jump into the story’s actual plot, there’s a bit of cross-continuity with other titles as Doom is informed that Doctor Strange doesn’t have an apprentice anymore.

Notice how Doom mentally acknowledges Strange’s superiority to him when it comes to magic… in his own way, of course.

Weirdly enough, the entire scene is even repeated word for word in Doctor Strange #57.
(with art by Kevin Nowlan)

Doom will end up studying under Strange and fight Mephisto with him in the graphic novel “Triumph and torment”. We’ll get to it eventually: it’s a 1989 story, but its placement in continuity is farther down the line.

But before that Doctor Doom has other priorities, which are surprisingly un-Doomlike.

Turns out that Doom has actually adopted Kristoff from Fantastic Four #246.
As the narration says, this is a side of Doom that we rarely see. If ever.

Doom has Kristoff follow him around for the rest of the day in order to learn how to inherit the throne. And the first lesson is the final step in establishing how the Doombots work.

We also have one of the most famous Doom retcons: the fact that the Doctor Doom in Uncanny X-Men #145 wasn’t the real one but a Doombot.

I discussed at length during the X-Men reviews the impact this has on Doom, so I won’t go through it again. Although it is kind of funny that the X-Men had to struggle THAT much against a Doombot that isn’t even a combat unit!

Not that Doom finds it funny. Not in the slightest.

So far the depiction of Latveria has been as realistic as we’ve ever seen it, but there is one weird passage: the fact that Doom receives delegations of common people to take a decision on the spot, “like some latter days Solomon”.

I’m hesitant whether this is ridiculous or a stroke of genius.

On the one hand, I don’t care how small Latveria is supposed to be: there is no way the king would sit there for hours and rule over the smallest requests.
But… if there was anyone crazy enough to try ruling this way… it would be Doctor Doom, and it does tie into this issue’s repeated team of him not wanting to rely on anyone.

Fortunately for us, Doom himself gave us a way to take a position on things like this.

Sounds legit.

We then jump to “several weeks later”, where we get some details on Doom’s morning routine.

Doom’s breakfast is interrupted by the news that his Byrne Machinery is finally ready to go!

After a flashback to the events of Fantastic Four #60, we are informed that when the machine is designed to give the user the powers of the Silver Surfer.

How is THAT supposed to work, considering they were confiscated by Galactus!?

The scientist helping Doom is Hauptmann, who you might remember from the time in Iron Man #149 where he stranded Doom in the past.
Not that Doom is holding a grudge against him or anything.

And why is Doom giving up the chance to use the machine himself? Because it turns you to dust!!!

The problem is that this artificial form of Power Cosmic is way too much for a human body.

Doom looks through his files for a pawn to use with the machine, as Kristoff discovers when trying to say goodnight to his adoptive father.

So, uhm… while Doom was shown to genuinely care for Kristoff… he’s not winning any “father of the year” award anytime soon.

This is obviously a homage to Fantastic Four #85, where Doom reacted the same way to being compared to the Red Skull.
That’s Hauptmann’s brother, by the way, so this is definitely not a coincidence.

Doom is so angry that he mentally threatens his own computer (!!!), dismissing the idea of using Magneto since at this time he had reformed. As he does about once a year.

We jump ahead a few days, where Doom has his robots kidnap somebody in New York City.
Someone who is in a really, really bad shape.

Then we jump several weeks AGAIN, where Doom discusses with some of his subjects about the recovery of the patient.
I’m pretty sure this is the most human interaction we will ever see between Doom and one of his scientists!

The patient is another herald of Galactus: Fantastic Four villain Terrax, who was defeated and depowered in an earlier issue.
He was beaten so badly, in fact, that not only he was barely alive but he forgot he was Terrax to begin with, and he’s going by his birthname of Tyros T. Terrible.

The fact that a powerless Tyros survived falling from the top of the World Trade Center (!!!) and presumably because he’s had the Power Cosmic before, Doom figured that he can survive the procedure. And he does, getting a new costume and a weird Green Goblin inspired glider in return!

Doom didn’t mention that the procedure that restored his powers is also going to kill him soon, but that’s on Tyros for not reading the fine print.

And as for why exactly Doom went through the trouble of powering up Tyros… well, isn’t that kind of obvious?

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Doom significance: 10/10
Essential reading if you want to get into Doom’s head, plus it has THE Doombot retcon.

Silver Age-ness: 5/10
Why so high for a serious 80s story? Because at this time, and especially during the Byrne run, you would really expect Doom’s machine to have SOME explanation on how it’s pulling the Power Cosmic absolutely out of nowhere.
If this was published during the Silver Age you wouldn’t even blink at something like that, hence the relatively high score.

Does it stand the test of time? 10/10
Now THIS is how you write Doctor Freaking Doom. Calm, collected and calculated, just until something sets him off in a rampage. He’s not ranting and raving the entire time, just when someone triggers one of his “do-not-push-this-if-you-value-your-life” buttons.
I found the depictions of him interacting with common Latverians to be very effective, as do his panels with Kristoff; at the same time, the moment when he snaps makes him genuinely horrifying.
I don’t give a quality score, but if I did it would be very hard to stay below a 10/10.

It was a Doombot all along
Technically speaking you could say this is a Doombot thinking itself Doom, but you would you want that?
Weirdly enough, there’s story in the late 2010s that heavily suggests Doom is lying here and that the one fighting the X-Men was the real one. I like to think that at this point Doom has fought so many heroes that he’s lost track.

Destroy the FF! : 43
Just look at the final panel. It doesn’t get more official than this!

 Crazy tech
No, seriously, how the heck is that machine recreating the Power Cosmic!?