JIMMY OLSEN 133 (1970)
by Jack Kirby
As the cover declares: “Kirby is here!”. And his first cover is about someone crashing a bike directly on Superman’s crotch.
Considering Silver Age Superman is just The Worst, I can’t say I don’t approve.
There are several legends for why Kirby decided to start his career at DC writing Jimmy Olsen, of all titles. Considering his legendary fame, it’s very likely he could’ve asked for any series.
While I would like to believe the story that says he took Jimmy Olsen because it was the worst selling title, I find the other version of the story to be far more believable: that he took a series that didn’t have a regular writer because he didn’t want to steal anybody’s job.
Considering Kirby’s own personal history, especially in the brutal conditions of the comics industry of the 50s, it would only make sense.
Now… before I go into the proper review… it’s probably important to take care of something.
Jack Kirby wasn’t called the King of Comics for nothing: his creativity, his passion, his dedication to the medium and his worldbuilding are basically unmatched. The man was a freaking legend.
As a penciler, as a creator, he was a god. But as a writer?
I’m sorry but as a writer… Jack Kirby kind of sucked.
And I can just imagine the reaction of several comic book readers to my statement.
Don’t get me wrong, this is LIGHT YEARS better than ANY Jimmy Olsen story I’ve covered so far. But if you expect the reviews of this part of the retrospective to be a lavish praise of Jack Kirby’s writing… you might want to skip the next few reviews.
So, if you can leave the pitchforks at the door, let’s begin the story, okay?
We begin with Jimmy Olsen meeting the Newsboy Legion.
And now I have to talk about the Newsboy Legion… this review is going to take FOREVER.
The Newsboy Legion are Jack Kirby characters from the Golden Age; to make a long story short, they used to be the sidekicks of the Guardian.
They are going to be around this title so much that instead of “Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen” they should’ve renamed this series “The Newsboy Legion Guest-Starring Superman And Jimmy Olsen Shows Up Sometimes, I Guess”, but it was probably too long.
For the moment they are here to present to Jimmy Olsen one of the most Kirby vehicles ever: the Whiz Wagon, in SPECTACULAR two-page spread.
This is also the issue where Jimmy Olsen begins working for Morgan Edge instead of the Daily Planet. We’ve seen Morgan Edge in the Superman/Spider-Man team-up, but later this issue we will see his first appearance.
He’s the head of a media conglomerate, so naturally he used his fortune to buy a small-time cub reporter a super-advanced flying car that would make NASA drool for years.
Speaking of the Newsboy Legion: since they are going to be a big deal, it’s only natural that they introduce themselves.
And their introduction panel incapsulates why I can’t stand them.
They are not characters: they’re gimmicks.
Flipper Dipper walks around in a scuba gear and flippers, plus his name is “Flipper Dipper”. I don’t think I have to elaborate.
Big Words’ entire personality revolves about him using, well, big words.
Gabby Jr. is… honestly I have no idea WHAT his gimmick is, he’s just around.
Tommy clearly was passed over when it was time to assign codenames, but considering he didn’t end up being named “Flipper Dipper”, he’s probably the winner.
Then there’s Scrapper.
I can’t quite put my finger on why I can’t stand Scrapper.
I guess his gimmick is “I’m constantly shouting that I’m a big deal and that makes me endearing”, but it’s not working on me. AT ALL.
We then meet Morgan Edge. Without ANY introduction about the fact that his Galaxy Broadcasting now owns the Daily Planet, mind you, it’s just… there.
He explains to Clark Kent that he has invested a ton of resources on Jimmy because he wants him to explore “the Wild Area”, which is rumored to hide a big secret behind weird motorcycle gangs.
Morgan Edge does have a reason for sending Jimmy to this mission instead of one of the two world-class journalists who work for him. It’s a stupid reason, yes, but it’s something.
Okay I know that to appreciate Kirby’s writing you just have to go with the flow, but… knowing how this storyline ends, the premise doesn’t make any sense. You’ll see.
For now, we discover that Morgan Edge is working with (or for) Intergang, a criminal organization that he wants to murder Clark Kent.
Clark is so lost in his thoughts that his super-senses don’t see the car that is trying to kill him.
This is a classic Superman trope. Okay, is he going to jump out of the way? Or is the car going to crash onto him, being damaged while Clark is unscathed?
F#ck if I know because THIS is the next panel:
Speaking of crazy cars: the Whiz Wagon was built according to Big Words’ blueprints, and I just can’t over the fact that a media mogul built A FLYING CAR and then decided to give it away to a bunch of kids!
Seriously, the ONLY reason why the Newsboy Legion is on the mission is that if they give Edge the secrets behind the Wild Zone they are going to keep the car.
And, uhm, where exactly IS the Wild Zone? The car has to fly over a… is that a river? Or is it in the middle of the ocean? Either way, if it’s an island, you mean to tell me NOBODY knows much of anything about an island sitting right next to Metropolis!?
When Clark Kent mentioned “weird motorcyclists”, I did not expect a Doom cosplay gone wrong.
They attack the Whiz Wagon with laser beams… because of course they have those… and lest we forget he’s the same moron of the previous 132 issues, Jimmy manages to get stuck with a flying car.
HOW IS ANYBODY NOT HITTING ANYTHING!?
It’s Jimmy Olsen and a bunch of kids, all disarmed and with one of them in scuba gear, against a gang armed with laser guns.
So of course the kids win.
Kirby created the original Newsboy Legion in the 40s, but in the 70s Big Words is basically indistinguishable from the way he drew X-Men’s Beast in the 60s.
They even have the same exact gimmicks of being geniuses who use big words!!!
The guy Jimmy knocked over was the gang’s leader, so this makes Jimmy the new boss.
Meanwhile Clark Kent calls the office faking being sick, and Superman tracks down Jimmy Olsen by… using heat vision in the most realistic way we have ever seen!?
I sure wasn’t expecting that, but it’s very welcome!
Superman follows the lead beneath a trap door, where he finds this dude:
Yep. We are definitely in Kirby territory now.
And then some hunters who “only dig our own vigilante group” decide to shoot at Superman.
It’s Kirby, so don’t expect an explanation.
Then Jimmy’s motorcycle gang attacks Superman. I’m VERY disappointed that they don’t do so by driving directly into his crotch.
Also is it just me or Jimmy just stole the Mole Man’s glasses?
Then SUDDEN KRYPTONITE GUN!!!
We cut to Morgan Edge talking to Clark Kent on the phone. But how can he do that, if Superman is in the Wild Zone? Because Morgan Edge is such an idiot that he can’t tell he’s talking to a recording.
Our criminal mastermind, ladies and gentlemen.
Then Superman wakes up, with Big Words giving him “some tablets” that will help him recover from the Kryptonite attack.
An these tablets are ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Considering that one of the first things Superman sees after taking those tablets is the Habitat, I’m REALLY worried about he just drank.
So the Wild Area is an island that nobody knows anything about, except they know there are motorcycle gangs there, plus it has an entire freaking city built with wood?
When even SUPERMAN thinks your premise is too far-fetched, maybe you’ve gone too far.
But if this doesn’t make sense don’t worry, Exposition Jimmy to the rescue!
So somebody did explore the Wild Area, to the point of the big secret behind “the Mountain of Judgment”, and the map (or at least a portion of it) made it back to civilization… but nobody really knows anything about it, except the motorcycle part?
We’re on the last page and even Superman has no freaking idea of what’s going on, even if he DOES still think the fact that Jimmy is following the case makes no sense.
Then there’s an earthquake and Jimmy realizes we are really, REALLY out of space.
Historical significance: 10/10
It indirectly kicks off the entire Fourth World thing, plus it sets the new status quo for the Superman books.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
A weird case of a 70s book that is top Silver Age because it combines the 60s Marvel Silver Age esthetic with the 70s DC Silver Age madness.
Does it stand the test of time? 6/10
I know, I know. How dare I give such a low score to the greatest series ever produced?
It’s not a bad comic. A fine action romp where it’s better not to think too much about… well about anything really. It goes without saying that the artwork is fantastic, but every character is a walking stereotype… Superman of all people is the one who gets even the slightest amount of characterization!
Let’s be honest: if this story was drawn by anyone else, it would be quite forgettable.
The next issues are only going to get worse, in my opinion: this time at least there IS a plot and the story is as straightforward as Kirby gets.
But you may want to get your pitchforks ready.
Stupid Jimmy Olsen moment
Since Jimmy is far less stupid in the Kirby era, I’m dropping the category unless he does something EGREGIOUSLY dumb. Then again, he’s barely in the story!
Most Kirby panel
Most WTF panel
