JIMMY OLSEN 134 (1970)
Writing and pencils by Jack Kirby
Cover by Neal Adams
This is arguably the most famous Jimmy Olsen issue of the Kirby era, as it technically marks the first ever appearance of Darkseid.
The cover boasts that we should “Prepare for events NEW to all your past experiences”, just like the first words of the very first page.
I guess it’s supposed to be a cool sentence, but to me it feels quite silly.
The first page also sees Jimmy Olsen and the Newsboy Legion access the Wild Area on their Whiz Wagon (*sigh*), accompanied by the motorcycle gang that last issue declared Jimmy their leader.
We are really, REALLY hyping up this “Mountain of Judgment” deal.
Any attempt to give any gravitas to this whole situation is futile when you have a character named Flipper Dipper who refers to himself as “Flippa Dippa”.
The Newsboy Legion is RAPIDLY getting on my nerves.
You know what would make this even more silly? Singing hippies!
Things are pretty bad when SILVER AGE SUPERMAN is the reasonable one!!!
Jimmy Olsen might not be quite as embarrassing as the pre-Kirby era, but he’s still trash as a journalist.
Case in point: he was sent to do a story on the Mountain of Judgment. So when Superman reveals that he knows more about it than Jimmy, he should at least TRY to learn SOMETHING right?
“We’re reporters doing a job! That’s why we don’t want to learn anything about the thing we were sent here to investigate!”
This SOMEHOW makes the bikers mad enough to attack Superman with weapons made by “the Hairies”.
Okay, we have Kirby writing some super-scientists here. Considering his incredible imagination I’m sure he’s going to come up with something incredible!
Or Kyptonite for the millionth time. Sure, why not.
Jimmy sure does look very worried about his “pal” here.
Next we have an admittedly pretty cool scene of the Whiz Wagon and the bikers navigating the high-tech obstacle course of the Zoomway, the route that leads to the Mountain of Judgment.
Which includes an underwater passage that makes Flippa Dippa’s presence useful.
It still doesn’t excuse him being named “Flippa Dippa”, though.
And on the other side of the Zoomway they find… a Kirby collage.
I know the collages have strenuous defenders, and to be fair a couple of them are pretty cool… but I’m sorry, I can’t possibly defend this.
This is just lame.
I know, I know.
“Kirby was doing it for the art”… “This gives the impression of an otherworldly dimension”… “The scans don’t do it justice, it has to be seen on paper”… I’ve heard them all.
I’m not buying this.
You have JACK FREAKING KIRBY at pencils!!! How in the world is THIS version of the Whiz Wagon…
…any better than THIS from a few pages earlier? In exactly the same view!!!
And you mean to tell me THIS is a good way to show off a fantastical environment…
…when, again, you have JACK FREAKING KIRBY drawing!?!?
No, I’m sorry. This completely takes me off the fantasy.
So, to recap: as far as creating collages, Jack Kirby should’ve stuck to drawing actual scenes.
Sorry about the rant, but sometimes the defense of everything Kirby has ever done gets ridiculous.
Back to the story: Superman is still knocked out, and still hot.
Or not, because as soon as the nurses leave he stop faking it and flies away. I’m not exactly sure why he didn’t want them to know he was fine.
I guess Superman didn’t have to get through the Kirby Collage Dimension to reach the Mountain of Judgment, which turns out to be… THIS THING:
Superman and the Whiz Wagon are sucked inside the Mountain. Which turns out to be where the Hairies live.
Turns out Superman knew something was up: specifically, the Whiz Wagon was being used to smuggle a bomb that would completely wipe out the Hairies.
So if Superman wasn’t around, Jimmy and the Newsboy Legion would’ve caused the death of the entire settlement.
Jimmy Olsen, confronted by the fact that he almost caused a massive amount of casualties, has only one reaction: “But what about me?”.
Jimmy won’t be allowed to let the rest of the world learn the mystery behind the Hairies: they are super-scientist hippies who live in a mobile home that is as big as a mountain. When you say it like that it sounds kind of silly, doesn’t it?
And now we have finally reached the moment you have all been waiting for: the first ever appearance of Darkseid!!!
Darkseid doesn’t look that intimidating with pink skin, doesn’t he?
I did a quick search on the value of this issue. As of 2021, the price ranges between $40 to $200.
However, a near mint copy was apparently sold in 2015 for $6,750.
Because of a single panel depicting an off-model Darkseid ordering someone to do nothing.
Money well spent, I’m sure.
Historical significance: 4/10
There’s a reason “First appearance of Darkseid” typically comes with an asterisk. The only real introduction are the Hairies, but calling them important would be a stretch.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Its own version of the Silver Age, but it has pretty much all the tropes… including the abundance of Kryptonite.
Does it stand the test of time? 5/10
It’s a little more focused than last time, I’ll admit. But when you get down to it, considering what we will learn about Darkseid… why exactly did he do ANY of this!?
I won’t question the fact that he wants to blow up the Hairies, I’m fine if he wants to kill people even if they’re not a personal threat. But with all the resources of Apokolypse… you mean to tell me he couldn’t just open a Boom Tube to the Mountain of Judgement and toss the bomb there!? Or use one of his minions to do it? Hiring Jimmy and the Newsboy Legion through Morgan Edge feels like it’s going through way too many steps!
Jimmy’s stubbornness doesn’t help the story: I’m not sure if Kirby wants us to side with him or not. Plus Superman had TONS of opportunities to warn Jimmy instead of just continuously waste time!
Stupid Jimmy Olsen moment
Only last issue I was saying I would reserve this for egregiously stupid moments.
Lo and behold: Jimmy bragging about being a reporter while completely refusing new information!
Most Kirby panel
Most WTF panel
I can’t use the first collage since it’s a full page spread, but thankfully the second one is a single panel!
What, no comment on the fact that the Hairies – who are products of the Project and presumably share their tech with it – are producing anti-Kryptonian weaponry? What does the Project need with those, and how bad is their security that the Outsiders have some of them? Sure, they probably told Clark it was to keep any Super-clones they made under control if they ran amok, but this still seems like arming up against Superman himself – just in case. Makes you wonder why none of those endless Phantom Zone criminals got taken down by squads of soldiers with Green K bazookas and the like.