JIMMY OLSEN 154 (1972)
Leo Dorfman & Kurt Schaffenberger
cover by Nick Cardy
Talk about a blast from the past: we’re back to Dorfman and Shaffenberger!
Jimmy is also back to being his usual jackass.
Dorfman is used to writing Lucy Lane, so it’s not surprising that Meg Tempest immediately scolds Jimmy in the first scene. To be fair A) he had it coming B) that is an amazing insult!
And then… get this… Jimmy wanders into a cave where he finds a Viking skeleton!
Honestly, who WOULDN’T immediately put on the clothes stolen from a skeleton? Oh yeah, right, EVERY SINGLE OTHER HUMAN BEING.
The clothes magically transport Jimmy back to Viking times. WTF!?
You might think this makes no sense, but Jimmy hasn’t actually traveled through time: he’s just imagining he’s a Viking because of the clothes.
Which still makes no sense, but it’s marginally better I guess.
Sooo… you’re saying Jimmy is crazy?
Sounds legit.
I hate to admit, but Jimmy scaring off a rabbit while boasting he’s fighting a bear is kind of funny.
Then Superman builds a ship for “Jimmy the Red”, hoping that once he finds Metropolis the shock will revert him to his (relatively) normal self.
Aaaand it doesn’t work.
What will cure Jimmy? A bath. (!?!?)
Apparently all of this was caused by a curse inside the helmet…
…except it’s actually only what Jimmy thinks. The truth is that playing with the “vibro-gun” LITERALLY SCRABLED HIS BRAINS.
Well THAT was definitely a Dorfman story.
After that wreck of a story, we begin the cover story with a literal car wreck.
He also beats up this rich girl’s bodyguards (!!!), and impresses her by not caring about her wealth.
Oof. Just imagine being dumped for JIMMY OLSEN.
You beat up two people on the street! In plain daylight! What did you expect!?
The rich girl feels guilty for getting him fired, so she begins showering him with gifts and money.
Are we sure he’s not still hallucinating?
To be fair, Jimmy is at least being generous with his cut.
(also weird to see the Metropolis slums being called “skid row” instead of the usual “suicide slum”)
So of course:
One of the dumbest scams in history.
Don’t be shocked, but the girl who wants the guy uninterested in money by getting him addicted to money is not very bright.
I would really, really like to know who started this myth that you can do any sort of crime you want but you can get away with it if you reach 12 miles off the coast.
The signal-watch malfunctioning and giving Jimmy superpowers is one thing, but apparently it also works to check for bugs!
And so we end with the girl losing Jimmy, left only with her good looks and billions of dollars.
Truly a tragic ending.
Historical significance: 0/10
Silver Age-ness
First story: 7/10
Second story: 2/10
Does it stand the test of time?
First story: 0/10
Second story: 6/10
Stupid Jimmy Olsen moment
From the first story, it’s a tough choice between wearing the clothes of a skeleton or playing with the vibro-gun… but considering the latter literally scrambles his brain (whatever it’s left of it), it’s WAY worse.
Jimmy is nowhere near as stupid in the second story, but still, beating up the bodyguards was just idiotic.