LOIS LANE #135 (1973)
by Cary Bates & John Rosenberger
Cover by Bob Oksner
The series will end two issues after this one, but it would’ve been hilarious if THIS was the last Lois Lane cover!
There’s a big name guru in Metropolis named Mosdor (!!!) who has been scamming rich people out of money. Both Clark and Lois are supposed to cover the story, but Clark is being a dick about it.
At this poit Morgan Edge is not the evil clone anymore, so he can call Clark on his bulls#it.
Since Lois is supposed to pretend she’s super-rich, Superman goes to recover an extremely valuable diamond for her cover story.
Unfortunately SUDDEN GORILLA!!!
He barely has enough time to react to that because SUDDEN KRYPTONITE!
Or at least Superman assumes it’s Kryptonite, but apparently he caught something from the probe.
Or from the gorilla. I don’t know which one sounds worse.
Oh so it’s Intermittent Kryptonite. Gotcha.
We’ll pick up from that nonsense later, but in the meantime we have the Daily Planet lying to the public for like the hundredth time. And they wonder why people stopped buying newspapers.
At this point I’m seriously wondering what Superman sees in her.
I’ve said it before, but these two idiots really deserve each other.
Okay, to be fair, they are both acting. But on the other hand, did that really seem out of character?
So Lois pretends to be heartbroken about this, goes to Mosdor and promises to give him all of her newfound money if helps her kill herself. (!!!!)
Honestly it’s not a bad plan, as far as Silver Age Superman goes anyway.
Too bad Intermittent Kryptonite f#cks it all up!!!
So Lois opens the door that leads to her death.
Then Superman crashes the place too late to save Lois and too weak to fight Mosdor, who decides the plot is already convoluted enough to add even more insanity.
However it turns out that Mosdor is not actually killing the people he scams out of money… he just has fireproof clothes that might as well be magic since not only they protect the skin that is not covered, but Lois even keeps her hairdo!
Needless to say, Mosdor keeping his victims alive makes no sense whatsoever. They’ve already given him everything they own, at this point they’re only a liability!
Can you believe that the “Superman is affected by Intermittent Kryptonite and brainwashed” part of the story is the one that makes the most sense!?
The cover scene ALMOST makes into the story. But what actually happens is even stupider!
Because on the cover Superman is just letting the van fall down the cliff… but in the comic, HE’S DRIVING:
Little known fact, Lois Lane’s heart is located in her abdomen.
This convinces Mosdor to confess his crimes, and *surprise* Superman has been lying this whole time!
Also Superman can make you selectively deaf at will. (WTF!?!?)
And so we end with the revelation that Intermittent Kryptonite was both real and utterly unnecessary.
Historical significance: 0/10
Why would anyone bother reading the Daily Planet at this point baffles me.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Intermittent Kryptonite and random gorillas, what else do you need?
Does it stand the test of time? 2/10
This was painful. The Mosdor part of the story starts promising enough, but it’s thrown away my refusing to make him a legitimate threat. Also the whole business with Intermittent Kryptonite is utterly unnecessary.
Stupid Lois Lane moment
Surprisingly enough, Lois doesn’t get one: all of her really stupid moments were just acting. It’s the story that remains incredibly stupid.
Interesting letters: incredible as it is, Lois Lane #131 makes even less sense now.
