FANTASTIC FOUR #312 (1988)
by Steve Englehart & Keith Pollard
cover by Ron Frenz
You have to love that “FEATURING DOCTOR DOOM!” highlight.
Just in case you thought Englehart was going to be more subtle this time.
We’ve moved to the Wakandan Palace in… well, Wakanda… and I’m surprised to see that Black Panther has a butler who is not from his country.
That’s almost as distracting as the polar bear carpet (???), but the important thing is Doom trying to get some alliances to retake Latveria.
Yes, the Fantastic Four are very interested in liberating Latveria from Kristoff. You can tell by them… checking my notes… doing absolutely nothing to stop him from taking over the place.
Fortunately enough, while Black Panther is willing to hear Doom’s arguments out of respect, he’s not dumb enough to actually ally himself with him.
Doom is quite flippant, but Black Panther pulls rank and reminds him that only one of the two is currently a king.
Doom does NOT take this well…
His anger and pride got the better of him, but Doctor Doom is careful not to try attacking Black Panther in Wakanda.
So far so good, but now Black Panther loses my support. “Safe passage is a cornerstone of international relations”, yes, but how exactly does that apply to Doom NOW!?
He’s not currently representing Latveria!
The Thing is worried that once they’re back in the US Doom will try to cut a deal with the American government, recalling he once cut a deal with Henry Kissinger in Super-Villain Team-Up #6.
It’s a shame we don’t get a thought balloon from Doom from the above panel. What is he thinking?
“This is an outrage! Doom wanted to ride shotgun!”, perhaps?
Meanwhile in Latveria: you didn’t think Kristoff’s armor could actually get worse, did you?
The FF plus Black Panther and Doom reach New York, right when the city is celebrating the end of an X-Men crossover.
Also: Crystal is racist, but it’s hardly new for the Inhumans.
Johnny is SLIGHTLY better in that regard, but not by much.
So… yeah, NYC is throwing a parade to X-Factor, which is actually made up of the original X-Men.
Standing there next to Doctor Freaking Doom is probably not good for the public relations of the Fantastic Four, but at least his interaction with Black Panther is hilarious.
That’s when the parade is interrupted by soldiers sent by Kristoff to assassinate Doctor Doom.
Is it just me or is their flying harness a blatant ripoff of Orion, a.k.a. Darkseid’s son?
Which means, you guessed, big dumb fight.
Cyclops points out how WEIRD it is to see the Fantastic Four protect Doctor Doom, leading to another pretty funny remark by Doom.
The two superhero teams deal with the attack, and Doom is back to the sales pitch.
And then he’s back to full “Doom does not beg” mode.
Yes, Crystal, why would Doctor Doom be dangerous now that he has only, you know, his armor and his magic powers!? WTF!?!?
He has one heck of an ultimatum: “Blow up the Latverian Embassy (!!!!) or I will murder your friends!”.
Doom hides where nobody would expect to find him: the FF headquarters, which apparently he has filled with bugs during his visit in Fantastic Four #305.
Doom traps She-Thing and Beast in a Stati-Cage ©; he chose them because they’re not going to fight back. She’s still suffering from the trauma of her transformation, and Beast is stuck into a subplot.
The lab is full of crazy stuff, like the Nega-Neutrino Displacement Diaphragm ™ (batteries sold separately).
She-Thing powers through the Stati-Cage ©, and Beast hulks up to face Doom alone (!!!) to the point that the other heroes have to rescue Doom AGAIN.
Despite being a real powerhouse, Crystal has a real tendency of becoming the damsel in distress.
Black Panther has no choice but agreeing to the terms, and in a sort of callback to their previous interactions Doom is not in a rush.
And so we end the story with She-Thing realizing that, no matter how crap your life is, you’re always better than being stuck in an X-Men storyline.
Could be worse, though. You could be stuck in an Englehart story from the 80s, where the chances of at least two characters being completely screwed are very high.
Doom significance: 0/10
This COULD have been significant in Doom’s relationship with Black Panther, but it’s thoroughly ignored.
Silver Age-ness: 0/10
Not really.
Does it stand the test of time? 3/10
Less cringy than the previous story, but this was pretty bad. X-Factor has a glorified cameo: Beast is the only one with something interesting to say, but he’s currently brain damaged so we can’t expect much. Doom’s relation with Black Panther is by far the best part, but it’s extremely out of focus.
It was a Doombot all along
All appearances up to Fantastic Four #350 might be a Doombot if we believe that story.
Number of superheroes who have fought Dr. Doom: 62
Adding Iceman, of all people. This would’ve been the first time Marvel Girl faces Doom, but she’s still counted in the continuity insert of World’s Greatest Comic Magazine… Iceman was both there and in Champions #16, but this is the first time we see him participate in the fight. And of course Cyclops has already faced Doom in Secrew Wars and Beast in Avengers #156.
Crazy tech
Nothing impressive on the results, but I like the design of Doom creating the energy fist that he uses to trap She-Thing and Beast.