METAL MEN 28 (1967)
by Robert Kanigher & Ross Andru
This is the next-to-last issue of the Kanigher & Andru team. Kanigher will return for 5 additional issues, but Andru will leave the title for good.
We begin with “the celebrated Metal Men” doing shopping…
…and then stopping a robbery by the so-called “Leopard Mask Gang”.
Who of course look nothing like leopards.
Just in case you’re worried about the Metal Men being competent heroes, they are still the same.
Meanwhile Doc Magnus is showing whatshername his newest batch of Metal Men that he plans to give to the army (!!!!).
I don’t think whatshername is a love interest we’ve seen before, but they’re all so generic it’s hard to tell. And yes, Doc also created a duplicate of Nameless because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The leader (I presume?) of the Leopard Mask Gang infiltrated the lab, but Doc is able to put up a good fight… for a couple of panels.
This leads to, of course, a big dumb fight between the two teams.
Emphasis on “dumb”.
Now that we have a plan about the Evil Metal Men running around, naturally it’s the perfect time for Doc Magnus to get amnesia.
Tina has her priorities straight.
Tin is the first one to try attacking the Evil Metal Men. Take a guess how THAT goes.
He needs Doc to get fixed, which counts as a death in my book.
Gold holding a gun is just wrong. I guess gold bullets wouldn’t be all that effective, but come on, that’s the best you’ve got!?
WTF are “explosive mercury globules” even supposed to be!?
Doc shows up to help, and all he gets is a shot in the head.
Just, you know, one of those non-lethal shots in the head.
I’ve long been convinced that Doc is immortal, but Tina doesn’t agree…
…and murders THE ENTIRE evil team, ON HER OWN…
…as well has HERSELF!!!
Maybe Doc isn’t immortal and, instead of killing him, the bullet cured his amnesia?
Sounds legit.
And so we end with Tina being rebuilt like nothing happened.
We’re assured that the leader of the Leopard Mask Gang jumped out of the way and wasn’t melted with the robots, because Comics Code.
Metal Men significance: 0/10
I wish I had amnesia about this story.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Amnesia-Curing Bullets!!!!
Does it stand the test of time? 2/10
There was SOME potential! If the story was either about the evil robots or the amnesia, it COULD have worked. Being about both means it’s about nothing.
Number of elements: 36
Adding the seven copies.
Times Nameless has died: 5
Times Platinum has died: 14
Times Mercury has died: 16
Times Gold has died: 18
Times Lead has died: 19
Times Iron has died: 19
Times Tin has died: 20
Interesting letters: I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how TIN is anyone’s favorite.
And anyone who prefers Mercury and FREAKING GOLD above Tina is a psychopath… she’s the only one who does ANYTHING and has the tiniest bit of personality!!!