WHAT IF? vol.1 #6 (1977)
written by Roy Thomas
“with special thanks to” Kristy Marx, Rick Hoberg & Don Glut
pencils by Jim Craig & Rick Hoberg
We begin our journey at the “What If?” appearances of Doctor Doom with the sixth issue of the first volume. The Fantastic Four actually starred in the very first issue (“What if Spider-Man joined the FF”, if you’re curious) but Doctor Doom plays no role there.
This is only the first time the series will explore the idea of changing the powers of the team; it’s a surprisingly recurrent idea.
Even though four people are credited with the plot (always a good sign), Roy Thomas is the main writer… which means I already have to complain about something.
Sorry Roy Thomas fans, the dude is a good plotter and there are very few creators with a deeper respect for the comic book genre… but his dialogues are atrocious and I’m not going to pull punches.
After TEN PAGES spent with a random action scene and a repeat of the Fantastic Four origin story (because a 33 page story definitely needed more padding), we get this thing:
If there’s one thing I like less than the idea of the FF having powers reflecting the classical elements, it’s this idea that their powers match their personalities.
I’ll grant you the Human Torch… giving a hothead fire powers was definitely deliberate… and at the very least the elements idea has the Thing representing rock.
But COME ON, this is stupid beyond belief!!!
The actual story begins at page 12, when after the FF crash to Earth they get their powers.
As I said the FF get their powers switched several times, but this is one of the times where they get completely new powers. I mean, the Thing gets wings!!!
Susan is the only to get one of the powers we are familiar with, and instead of fire powers Johnny Storm becomes superstrong and made of metal.
Basically Colossus (who debuted 2 years earlier), except he can’t turn back human.
And Reed is instead just a disembodied brain!!!
Come on, turning Reed into a literal brain is possibly the least interesting thing you can do with him!
See why I hate the idea of the powers matching the FF’s personalities? These are supposed to be exactly the same people: the point of divergence is when the ship crashes.
But in one reality Susan gets invisibility because she’s meek and in another she gets Reed’s powers because “she can adapt!?!?”
“Sometime later”, the Fantastic Four stop some goons and a demon (!!!) from stealing Blackbeard’s magical jewels. So I guess there’s a second difference from the main timeline, otherwise why would Doom have needed to go back in time in his first appearance???
Once the FF stop the goons and dispatch the demon, Doctor Doom makes his grand appearance.
But whereas in the original story Doom specifically went to the FF because of his connection with Reed, this time he has no idea he’s involved: he runs into the Fantastic Four by complete accident!
Make that a third difference from the main timeline, because this Doom has NOT kept track of what Reed was up to.
No, wait, make it four differences: this is also a timeline where Doom needs the mental powers of another person to power his time machine (WTF!?).
I’ll say a positive thing about Roy Thomas, for once: he can DEFINITELY come up with chilling body horror moments!!!
Yeah, Reed definitely had a raw deal in this reality.
Leave it to Roy Thomas to unnecessarily complicate a good idea. It’s not enough to turn Johnny into a Thing equivalent by being stuck into a metallic body, he also has give him power over machines… because Johnny is into cars.
We’re already at page 26 and the plot hasn’t really started, but at least Doctor Doom shows up.
This is the best part of the story: Doom manipulating Reed into giving him control, by feeding off the desire of having a body again.
Except Reed is already so far gone that he prefers being a building instead of a person.
Jesus Christ, man…
Doom is not doing this out of the goodness of his heart, sure, but it’s hard not to think Reed should accept the offer.
Reed agrees to be transported to Latveria, but when Johnny shows up he ends up fighting Doom.
Okay, calling it now: this version of Johnny sucks.
The experiment that will power up the time machine is quite brutal: it’s going to basically turn Reed from a brain in a jar to a vegetable.
The rest of the Fantastic Four reach the castle, where Johnny tries to rescue himself from his lameness by demonstrating a third random power.
He still sucks, though he’s in good company in this team.
Watching the rest of the team go through Doom’s traps to save him, Reed manages to use his mental powers against Doctor Doom… and ends up destroying the machine.
This SOMEHOW transfers Reed’s body into Doom’s body, and that’s where we end the story.
Which means he has Doom’s scars under that mask, yes, but at least he has a face and everything else.
This incarnation of the Fantastic For shows up in a later storyline in the second volume; we’ll eventually look at that.
Historical significance
I am not using this category for “What If?” stories, since it would defeat the entire idea behind it. Instead I’m using…
Did any of this show up in continuity?
Sometimes “What If?” introduces concepts that later creep into the main continuity, sometimes by drawing direct inspiration and sometimes by sheer coincidence. This is where I’ll explore them… IF they come up.
This time it doesn’t: while these characters show up again, it’s barely more than cameos.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Reed Richards gets turned into a disembodied brain!!!
Does it stand the test of time? 4/10
There’s some potential here, and it’s almost completely squandered.
Let’s start with the positives: Doom manipulating Reed, some great body horror, a great design for Ben’s dragon wings… and that’s about it.
Johnny is extremely random, the pacing is horrible (did we REALLY need 10 pages to introduce the Fantastic Four!?), the connection to the time machine is incredibly forced… it’s a mess.
Although to be fair the dialogues, which are typically the bane of Roy Thomas stories, are surprisingly bearable this time.