While there are still a few individual “What If?” stories I’ll cover in more detail, let’s get the cameos of Volume 2 out of the way.
Strap in, this is going to be a long ride.
*deep breath*
WHAT IF? vol.2 #1 (1989)
by Roy Thomas & Rom Wilson
cover by Keith Pollard
“What If the Avengers Had Lost the Evolutionary War?”
If the Avengers lose the Evolutionary War it means the High Evolutionary wins (duh!), which means every non-Mutant gets a big head.
Except if you’re Spider-Man, then you grow six arms. And yes, this has absolutely nothing to do with the story and it’s just a distracting throwback to an older story. Or you didn’t notice this is a Roy Thomas story?
Doom shows up to show he has a big head. Which is basically the reason behind 99% of Doom stories, sure, but this time it’s not something special.
This story is UTTERLY BONKERS. The super-evolved humanity defeats both Death herself (!!!!) and Eternity. Who is, in case you don’t know, the personification of the entire universe!!!
The entire Earth becomes sentient (!!!!) and having fixed all the problems of the entire universe (!!!!) travels to another one, leaving the High Evolutionary behind.
Nice job preventing THAT, Avengers.
Next!
WHAT IF? vol.2 #6 (1989)
by Danny Fingeroth & Ron Lim
“What If the X-Men Had Lost Inferno?”
That’s not an alternate look for Doctor Strange. He actually DID have an eyepatch for a while.
In this reality Hell has taken over, and Doom only shows up to be brainwashed and help Reed build a device that will bring demons to Earth more easily.
If you’re curious, this one ends with Doctor Strange helping Rachel Summers use the Phoenix Force to sterilize the planet from demons.
This also kills nearly the entire human population (!!!!), but it’s not a complete downer since civilization will slowly restart.
So if the Avengers lose one of their crossovers it’s paradise, but if the X-Men lose their own crossover it’s literally Hell on Earth.
Next!
WHAT IF? vol.2 #19 (1990)
written by Roy Thomas R.J.M. Lofficier
pencils by Ron Wilson
“What If the Vision had conquered the world?”
This one has two different answers to the title’s question, like issue #30.
Regardless of which option, Ron Wilson is more interested in drawing She-Hulk than the Vision.
In this story Vision has taken control of every single computer on the planet, which even for 1990 is a big deal.
This results into Earth becoming an utopia, with all the superheroes directed by Vision. Don’t think too much about why they don’t do this regardless of Vision.
The story SHOULD be over, right? Instead we jump ahead to 2196 to follow a new version of the Avengers.
Take a moment to appreciate the randomness of that team.
Thor makes sense, since he’s immortal.
Starhawk is from the original Guardians of the Galaxy and so he should be from the 30th century.
“Irondroid” is blatantly wearing the same armor if Iron Man 2020 (not the Iron Man published in 2020… well, kind of, actually, but that’s complicated).
“Commander America” is a passable variation on the team, while I genuinely like the name “Tachyon Torch” and I wish it wasn’t wasted on a throwaway character.
And then there’s “Jhen the Gammazon”, because if Ron Wilson wants to draw She-Hulk he’s going to, dammit!
Much of the story is about the future Avengers fighting the Kree and the Skrull, with both alien species being inspired by Earth’s utopia into creating new peaceful regimes.
That was the “good” ending to Vision’s plant. But there is a second story which begins with Vision NUKING NEW YORK!!!
SOMEHOW this doesn’t trigger World War III (probably because Vision controls all the computers of the launch silos), but he decides to ally himself with the remaining powers.
By coordinating the forces of Doctor Doom, the Mad Thinker and Hydra, Vision manages to conquer the entire planet by force.
Nice job, Vision.
We jump ahead several centuries AGAIN, when Earth is a galactic superpower AGAIN, and in case you hadn’t noticed: yes, this one is also written by Roy Thomas (more correctly it’s co-written).
Even I had to look up WTF was up with “the Metazoid”. It’s from Captain Marvel #5 from 1968, and no, even with the context of that issue it makes no sense that the Mad Thinker is using that body in the far future.
And if you have any questions about why Doctor Doom is still working for Vision: it’s not the real deal but just a clone.
I guess it was vitally important that he was a clone and not a Doombot, because that would’ve made too much sense to be controlled by Vision.
Yep. Totally couldn’t have been a reprogrammed Doombot.
To make a long story short, the Vision ends up conquering the universe.
Well. That was entirely too much Roy Thomas.
Next!
WHAT IF? vol.2 #25 (1991)
by Jim Valentino & Rik Levins
“What If… Set Had Come to Earth?”
Continuing the theme of “what if the crossover ended in a different way”, his explores what would happen if the heroes lost Atlantis Attacks.
You know the deal at this point: happily ever after or everybody dies?
I’ll be brief because, much like Atlantis Attacks, this is way more complicated than it needs to be.
Doom shows up when he joins the most random team you’ve ever seen, which includes Hulk, Wolverine, Sabretooth, Cloak, Rachel Summers, Thor and Jesus Christ Aquarian.
The team’s objective is none other than face the elder god Set. Which, if you know anything about Marvel’s mystic cosmogony, is A BIG FREAKING DEAL.
The story is pretty awful, but Doctor Doom? PURE BADASS.
Unfortunately it doesn’t amount to much: Set is so absurdly overpowered that even the Phoenix Force and Thor fail to stop him.
In the end Set ends up fighting Quasar (who also has the powers of Captain Universe) for all eternity in a parallel dimension.
That was random. Quasar is one of my favorite Marvel heroes and even I didn’t care for that ending.
Next!
WHAT IF? vol.2 #31 (1991)
by Glenn Herdling & Scott McDaniel
“What If… Spider-Man had not lost his cosmic powers?”
The cover asks what if Spider-Man KEPT his cosmic powers, but the title of the story asks what if he HAD NOT LOST THEM. Make up your mind!
Spider-Man easily defeats all his villains and begins solving the world’s problems, growing more distant from humanity as a result.
And then there’s some fanservice, because if Scott McDaniel wants to draw Sexy MJ he’s going to, dammit!
Doctor Doom shows up to steal the powers of Captain Universe from Spider-Man (that was one of his goals during Acts of Vengeance after all), taking as a hostage the first Captain Universe who nobody else remembers.
This time, though, Doom seems more interested in taking the power away from Spider-Man than taking it for himself.
He still would’ve stolen the power, though, if this wasn’t just a Doombot.
Spider-Man ends up sharing the Captain Universe power with the entire planet, connecting everyone’s minds and ushering world peace.
Good premise, awkward execution, awful artwork.
Next!
WHAT IF? vol.2 #67-68 (1994)
by Chuck Dixon & Dario Carrasco
“What If… Captain America Were Revived Today?”
This is a rarity: What If stories rarely, if ever, got a two-part storyline.
Without Captain America, Red Skull was able to conquer America.
However Cap is revived, of all people, by Doctor Doom!
It’s easy to forget that Doom started his career as a freedom fighter of sorts, but he’s able to use that to gain the trust of Captain America.
As you might expect, Doom has assembled a new team of Avengers for Cap to lead. And if you thought the team from the Vision story was random, this has him beat!
Attuma, Titanium Man, Grey Gargoyle, Abomination, Klaw, Juggernaut and… the Vulture!?!?
Cap is pretty shocked to discover that these are not freedom fighters but mercenaries.
Doom completely disappears from the rest of the story and the second part, which ends with Captain America overthrowing the Red Skull.
That alternate timeline had so much potential, but even two full issues don’t explore it much.
Next!
WHAT IF? vol.2 #70 (1994)
by Chuck Dixon, Joe Barney & Don Hudson
cover by Ron Wagner
“What If… The Silver Surfer had not betrayed Galactus?”
How is the answer not just “everybody dies”?
Well okay, ALMOST everybody, but still, is there even a story to tell here?
Only Doom would STILL take this opportunity to mock Reed Richards.
Still, it’s not like the FF have other options at the moment.
Not that Doom really needed the FF to begin with.
Doom and Surfer end up killing each other.
In the end the Fantastic Four end up becoming the new heralds of Galactus. And Wasp because SOMEHOW she also survived.
Just one left!
WHAT IF? vol.2 #78 (1995)
by Chuck Dixon & Enrique Alcatena
cover by Ron Wagner
“What If… The New Fantastic Four Had Remained A Team?”
The “New Fantastic Four” was a temporary team made of Spider-Man, Wolverine, Hulk and Ghost Rider assembled in a Walt Simonson storyline, where the real FF were considered dead.
What if this new team didn’t immediately disband?
They would get their butts kicked by the FF villains until Doctor Doom shows up at the last moment to save them and remind everyone who’s on top of the supervillain food chain.
Hey I reviewed nine issues in a single round, of which more than zero were by Roy Thomas, what else do you want from me?
Not doing any of the usual categories since these are essentially quick recaps, except…
Did any of this show up in continuity?
Not really. The most I can think of is that the version of Quasar with the powers of Captain Universe has a cameo in an issue of Quasar where he’s jumping around various issues of What If.