World’s Finest #74 (1955)
by Bill Finger & Curt Swan
When you get down to it, the Bat-Signal doesn’t make a lot of logistical sense. But the Super-Signal is much, much dumber.
We begin with the launch of an “atomic-powered rocket” that is supposed to go into the stratosphere…
…but instead accidentally returns with a visitor from an asteroid “somewhere in free space”.
Sounds legit.
You have to love that even back in 1955, aliens from another planet were already old news for the DC Universe.
The alien is a shapeshifter too. Believe me, that’s not NEARLY the craziest power it’s going to show off in the story.
For a moment I feared this would turn into a basic “Lois Lane thinks Clark is Superman” plots, but instead it turns into John Carpenter’s The Thing!
Naturally, Superman has a solution for this.
Just kidding, he actually builds a giant TV.
Yeah that’s a totally human reaction to something coming out of a giant television.
This looks like a job for Batman! SOMEHOW.
As the alien terrorizes the guards of a Gotham City museum, Batman shows up to stop the crime.
You know what? This was actually a decent plot twist! Well done!
Well, except Batman saying “wha-a-a-at?”, but you can’t win them all.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, is when the story goes completely bonkers.
Yes.
NOW.
The big mystery of the story, and I’m not kidding, is figuring out what KRLLG means.
Hmm, since we don’t know what that word means, better be safe.
Despite the cover, the mystery is NOT why in the world anyone thinks this would be a great idea. Even back in 1955, shouldn’t Batman have better ways to contact Superman!?
The alien continues to KRLLG things up: first by toppling the Statue of Liberty…
…and then KRLLGing Superman himself.
Despite all the mischief, Batman is still convinced that the alien is not a bad guy.
But “after hours” of studying the case, Batman finally figures out why the alien wants to KRLLG.
This being a 50s story, it’s not exactly surprising that Superman’s first instinct is spanking.
So the two heroes come up with a plan. And it really shows the weirdness of pairing up such wildly different characters when Batman’s part revolves around distracting the alien…
…while Superman BUILDS A PLANET.
Well to be fair, while it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility for Superman to do it for real, it’s just a model.
The plan was to make the alien homesick, and it works.
The alien is torn between which hero he’s going to worship, and AAAAHHH!!!!
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the secret origin of Super-Batman, the alien superhero who STILL has less superpowers than Martian Manhunter.
And that’s it! Until Composite Superman shows up, then we are KRLLGed.
Historical significance: 0/10
This might be the first time Superman shows up in the Batcave. But to keep this in continuity would mean acknowledging there’s an entire race of shapeshifters that can mimic Superman’s powers to the point of fighting him to a standstill… and we already have the Martians for that!
Silver Age-ness: 7/10
Random aliens with immense powers out of nowhere! The crowd peacefully dispersing because a giant TV says so! Not to mention the whole KRLLG mystery.
Does it stand the test of time? 3/10
The premise of “the unstoppable alien is actually just a child” has been done a million times… usually much better than this.
Did Superman really need Batman? Nope!
The only useful thing he does is distract the kid, who wasn’t exactly hard to keep busy. And I guess he did figure out what KRLLG means, but I have a hard time believing Superman couldn’t do the same on his own.