The only redeeming quality of Issue 25 was Doctor Doom, but he’s completely absent until #30.
Which means we have four issue that deal with one of the dumbest plots I’ve ever read.
Fantastic Four vol.3 #26 (2000)
by Chris Claremont & Salvador Larroca
Don’t worry, the cover scene doesn’t actually happen in the story.
Doom replacing Reed even on the corner is a nice touch, though.
Last issue ended with Doom being the one to survive the Dreaming Celestial, with Reed seemingly getting killed in the process.
Valeria is pleased by this…
…the Fantastic Four Three, not so much.
Please keep in mind how Doom is acting right now. It’ll be important soon.
The Celestial Ashema (or I guess her avatar) shows the FF that the badly defined “Chaos Storm” has passed. Susan still has trouble understanding WTF this was all about.
It’s hard not to take Lancer’s side during this whole storyline. The FF and the other heroes keep treating the “Franklin-verse” as if the people living there aren’t real!!!
One major, and I do mean MAJOR plot point is that Doom’s generals are eager for conquest.
Doom takes the remaining FF to his gigantic ship, which gets the attention of the Avengers.
Once Doom manages to get some alone time, we’re told about what actually happened at the end of last issue: this isn’t Doctor Doom at all, but Reed Richards trapped inside the armor.
I don’t have a problem with Reed being trapped inside the armor despite his elasticity: between Doom’s technology and the Celestial’s power, I can buy it has defenses against that sort of thing.
My problem with the story is how Reed goes about dealing with it.
First of all: I seriously don’t buy that Doom has such an enormous advantage. You mean to tell me that ship he built on the parallel Earth is more of a threat than the arsenal Doom already had in Latveria!? REALLY!?
Second, is the fact Doom has superhuman allies REALLY that much of a factor!?
He has a couple of sorcerers and an Atlantean army, sure, but Earth has… well, ALL OF EARTH to throw against him, AND all the superhumans, which ALSO include the main reality’s Atlantis!!!
Lancer continues to be one of the few characters in this storyline with any brain cells, immediately figuring out this is not the real Doctor Doom.
I’m not sure if Valeria knew it immediately or if she just found out.
And here is one of my main gripes with this storyline: Reed goes along faking Doctor Doom because it’s the only way to avoid a war with Doom’s generals.
Yes. The Fantastic Four are going through this whole mess because they don’t think they can take out Doom’s army and these three superhumans.
Let me repeat that.
The FANTASTIC FOUR don’t think they can take ONE ARMY and FOUR SUPERVILLAINS.
I wouldn’t buy this excuse if we were talking about a more down-to-earth team like the New Warriors, but… THE FANTASTIC FOUR!? Whose rogues gallery includes entire interstellar empires and Galactus!?!?!?
The fight scenes between the FF and the Generals are so boring that Larroca is now just pasting the same panels over and over.
We’re supposed to think they’re sooooo scary because in a simulation they manage to murder Susan… but that is one crappy simulation if it presumes a regular Atlantean can break through her force field!!!
This is where we are, folks. THE HUMAN TORCH is the only one with a sensible plan.
Oh good, she turns invisible too. As if she wasn’t enough of a carbon copy of her mother with her force field.
Second reason why this is a dumb plot: instead of immediately telling the truth to his family, Reed just goes on to make requests! The generals are not present and Lancer already knows, so why the heck doesn’t he simply say “I’m Reed”!?!?
This is about sending Valeria to the other-dimensional place where they sent Franklin to be safe during the apocalypse they thought was approaching.
JUST SAY YOU’RE REED, DAMMIT!!!
Well, at least this means we won’t have to deal with Valeria Von Doom anymore. Good riddance.
Also: this scene makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that she’s Reed’s daughter, not Doom’s.
So basically the only reason behind her very rare interesting scenes has been thrown away.
Everyone in this run continues to be an idiot. The supposed “smartest man in the world” can’t think of a single way to prove his identity to his own family? REALLY!?
Adding insult to injury, THE THING is the only one who actually believes Reed. Which isn’t to say he’s dumb or anything, but really, shouldn’t HIS WIFE be the one to give this speech!?!?
The entire point of this storyline… THE ENTIRE POINT… is that Doom’s generals are SO dangerous that the Fantastic Four Three will have to go through extreme length to avoid a confrontation.
Except Reed immediately proves he can EASILY defeat all of them!!!
ON HIS OWN!!!
But wait, we’re not even at the stupidest part! Even if “Doom” has thoroughly defeated the Generals, he can’t just take over: he has to keep them around and prove the Fantastic Four Three are under his command now.
Which FOR SOME REASON means he has to marry Susan? WTF!?!?
Fantastic Four vol.3 #27 (2000)
by Chris Claremont & Salvador Larroca
This is one of the dumbest comic books ever printed.
Even the Daily Bugle can’t believe this!!!
So let me get this straight… “Doctor Doom” announced to the world he was going to marry Susan, then announced it to the world, and didn’t tell ANYONE he was actually Reed?
Including their closest friends!!!
Claremont is trolling us, right? He HAS to be trolling us!!!
No Reed, your wife did NOT accept your identity out of faith, you spent half of last issue dealing with her suspects you were still Doom!
Also, I never doubted Doom’s armor could turn out to be a perfect disguise. I’m just still appalled by the idea that you had to lie to the entire planet because you didn’t want to deal with the Generals!!!
It’s not like the Generals are keeping close tabs on the Fantastic Four. YOU COULD AT LEAST TELL THE SUPERHEROES!!!
This is especially rotten because Spider-Man is dealing with losing his wife and STILL went out of his way to help his friend! I didn’t even remember this happened in the Spider-Man books and it makes me even MORE angry about Johnny lying for stupid reasons.
But at least it’s to prevent an all-out war, right? Well don’t be shocked, but the US government doesn’t exactly like the fact that one of the country’s greatest assets… Reed’s technology… might have fallen into the hands of the most dangerous man on the planet.
To be fair, this one of the few scenes I really like, because it treats the issue with respect to earlier stories and people follow understandable logic.
You’d expect Claremont to bring up the fact that Latveria was supposedly ruled by Stryfe at this point. But he surprisingly misses the chance for an X-Men reference.
Things are bleak indeed when THE US GOVERNMENT is the only likeable character in the story!!!
Apparently Doom’s armor is smarter than Reed. HIS ARMOR.
Are we sure this story is written by Chris Claremont and not Victor Von Doom?
And I say this as a massive Doom superfan!!!
At least the Thing has the good sense to talk to the Avengers and admit, in private, that “Doom” is actually Reed and that they’ve got this under control.
Just kidding! Nobody has any brains in this story.
You’d expect Susan to keep a low profile… something that should be easy WHEN YOU CAN TURN INVISIBLE… but instead she decides to be seen in public! Still without saying anything to her friends!!!
And so we proceed with one of the stupidest plots ever: the marriage of Doctor Doom and Susan Storm.
People were paid to write, draw, ink, color, edit and distribute this thing.
With money.
“Why is it artists always look like artists, and writers look liker writers?”.
Clearly a modern day William Shakespear.
Fantastic Four vol.3 #28 (2000)
by Chris Claremont & Salvador Larroca
Sooo… is anyone else tired of the Generals yet?
We begin with wasting five pages with a simulation that proves a war between Earth and the alternate planet Doom rules would spell disaster. FIVE PAGES.
How’s your “I’m doing this to prevent war” plan going, Reed?
No wonder Doom is always up to date about every superhero!
Again: the Human Torch is the only member of the team to call bulls##t. THE HUMAN TORCH.
After all that effort, Doom’s generals STILL don’t follow him, causing the warship to launch a surprise attack that Reed stops right before it causes any actual damage.
The Avengers attack Doom’s ship, which is protected by… sneezing powder.
Did I mention this is an incredibly stupid storyline?
I’m a broken record, I know, but… the generals really, REALLY suck.
JUST TELL THEM YOU’RE REED RICHARDS!!!
The only smart thing Reed does is dispatch Lancer to find the real Doom in her world, because that will be shown in a fantastic miniseries.
This leads to Doom giving up the generals to the Avengers, effectively ending the war before it starts.
This means Reed no longer has any real reason to pretend to be Doom, right?
Right?
Fantastic Four vol.3 #29 (2000)
by Chris Claremont & Salvador Larroca
This is actually a great cover. Too bad it’s wasted on this stupid storyline.
The fact that Claremont has Susan’s brother date Namor’s cousin and NEVER DO ANYTHING WITH THE CONCEPT tells you everything about this freaking run.
WHY ARE YOU GUYS STILL GOING ON WITH THIS THING!?!?!?
The war is over! The general are gone!
JUST TELL THE WORLD THIS IS REED!!!!
Credit where credit is due, the fact that Reed’s mannerism is slowly turning into Doom’s is quite subtle. The whole reason we’re in this situation is dumb, but there’s SOME nuance.
Most of the story follows the Fantastic Four dealing with one of Wizard’s plans. Of interest, he has recruited Sharon Ventura, who we haven’t seen since Doom turned her into deformed monster in Fantastic Four #378.
Yeah Sharon is 100% right in hating Doom (who mutated her), but she’s also got a point about the Fantastic Four: they seriously DID forget about her.
Hilariously, the Wizard surrenders once he realizes he’s up against Doctor Doom.
And so we end the story with the revelation that Reed has been able to take off his armor for a while.
Which might’ve been more effective if you didn’t spoil it on the cover!!!
Doom shows up again next issue, and that takes place after his AWESOME miniseries, so this is a good breaking point.
Also I can only take so much stupid in a single review.
Doom significance: -3/10
Other than the fact Reed is slowly turning into Doom, you can easily skip this whole mess.
Negative scores are reserved for when “the story absolutely breaks the established canon or characterization”… and this one definitely applies for just how dumb everyone is.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
The actual Silver Age would’ve treated this SO much better, but still, the entire idea behind the marriage practically screams Silver Age.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
There are two reasons only why this doesn’t get a negative score.
The first is that they are reserved for stories with horrible messages.
The second one is that Reed actually does have a in-universe reason for turning into Doom, which will be explored next issue.
But other than that…
Crazy tech
If nothing else, this is a nice showcase of the absurd stuff Doom has. His ship is a superpower on its own, his armor keeps up with Reed, and his surveillance technology is second to none.
Fantastic Four Vol 3 # 27 was distributed with money? Darn, of all the times for me to have been exclusively buying DC.
Probably my least favorite stretch of FF stories ever. I remember walking away from this arc convinced that Claremont hated Reed Richards.