World’s Finest #189-190

World’s Finest #189 (1969)
by Cary Bates & Ross Andru
cover by Curt Swan

Did you know there’s a story where Superman donates his organs?

You have to love the fact that for Metropolis meteors are just a regular occurrence.

However it was no meteor: it was THE CORPSE OF SUPERMAN crashing into the ground!!!

Just a heads up: this is a two-part story and Superman dies on PAGE THREE of the first one, so… this is going places.

Then Batman brings Superman’s will to the Daily Planet (WHY!?) and reads it there (???), discovering that Superman decided to donate his heart TO BATMAN.

I don’t have a problem believing Superman would decide to donate his organs: that’s a totally Superman thing to do. But you either:
A) donate your organs to science
or
B) donate them for a transplant
WTF does “a transplant in the interests of medical science” even mean?

There’s the problem that Superman’s body is STILL INVULNERABLE.
And the fact that Batman is on the operating table in full costume, but I guess we’ll ignore that.

So here’s a thought. If you want to transplant Superman’s heart… maybe do it in the bottle city of Kandor? You know, the place where Superman wouldn’t be invulnerable and there would PROBABLY be a couple of surgeons that know Kryptonian anatomy a little better than you!?

The Legion fan in me is a bit disappointed Supergirl didn’t go into the 30th century and grab some scalpels made of Inertron. Although I guess even making those wouldn’t guarantee to get past Superman’s invulnerability.

Anyway, Batman decides he won’t get through with the operation because they should find someone more worthy than him. That’s a totally Batman thing to do, but maybe think about it a little sooner?

But the operating room was already prepared, so the doctors decide to get all of Superman’s organs.

This is one of the most interesting panels of the era: it’s just the words “This scene censored by the Comics Code Authority”, which are there to cover what should theoretically be A GRAPHIC DISPLAY OF SUPERMAN’S ORGANS.

Allegedly, the scene WAS supposed to be fully drawn in the script and it was LITERALLY censored by the Comics Code. But I haven’t been able to find a definitive source on that, so take it with a grain of salt: it could just be an urban legend.

Either way, would this be the first time something like this has ever been done? I have a hard time imagining such a move in earlier years. Even for 1969, this was a pretty risky move.

Also, while we can’t be certain since we can’t see anything… if the previous scene is to be believed, the doctors are showing the organs to both Batman and Supergirl.
Yeah I’m sure watching her cousin’s freshly extracted organs wouldn’t be traumatizing or anything.

Someone should try making a count of just how many Superman funerals we’ve seen over the years.
Also: Atom, I know shrinking is your superpower, but couldn’t you attend the funeral full-size?

One thing that remains pretty consistent (even in the modern day) about all the times Superman is believe to be dead, is Lex Luthor being angry about not being the person to take him down.

You have seen the Batmobile. You might be unfortunate enough to have seen the Jokermobile.
But behold: the lameness of the Lexmobile!!!

At this point you might be wondering: just how did Superman die?
It’s because of mister “We Don’t Have The Rights To Ming The Merciless” here.

Little known fact: after Kryptonite, magic and red sun light, Superman has a fourth weakness… “Electro-Plasmic Charges”. Which, you might have guessed, has never been mentioned before.
I actually rather like Discount Ming here criticizing Superman for thinking he knows everything; after all, he didn’t know he was weak against Kryptonite before he had to deal it the first time.

Discount Ming is the one to tell Lex about the organ donation, and then he just leaves.

See, this is why Lex is a Superman villain. Batman talks a good game, but Lex is way out of his league.

So Luthor just calmly steals Superman’s organs, right from under Batman’s nose.

Alright, this is an interesting setup. What is Lex Luthor going to do with Superman’s organs?

Is he going to implant them into his own body to get superpowers? Is he going to study them to replicate his superpowers? Is he going to make an evil clone of Superman?

Nope! He’s going to JUST SELL THEM.

Okay MAYBE I buy that getting Superman’s eyes gives you his X-Ray vision or his telescopic vision, but his heat vision too? And how is getting only his hands give you super-strength!?

Also: even considering inflation, Lex is selling those things for cheap!!!

Especially since he ends up selling ALL OF THEM to a single guy and getting only 10% of the value!!!

You couldn’t give these to real supervillains? REALLY!?

Also, the operation? IT WORKS. This guy successfully transplanted eyes, hands, ears and lungs.
FROM AN ALIEN. In 1969.

Sounds legit.

Also, turns out Luthor has kept the heart for himself because some day he might use it to get himself superpowers.

And that’s just Part One!!!

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World’s Finest #190 (1969)
written by Cary Bates & E. Nelson Bridwell
pencils by Ross Andru
cover by Curt Swan

If I ever make fun of a character having a dumb costume, please remind me of these guys.

Clearly these guys didn’t inherit Superman’s sense of fashion.
Also: man did the guy who only got super-hearing had a lousy deal.

After a lengthy recap of the previous issue, Batman and Robin end up fighting the Fashion Victims.
You may recall that it took a long time for heat vision to be considered a separate power from x-ray vision, but by 1969 it should’ve been clear (especially with continuity guru Bridwell co-writing this part!!!) that it shouldn’t be affect by lead.

Look, I’m not downplaying the fact that even having ONE of Superman’s powers would give anyone trouble, but… these are regular criminals! Shouldn’t Batman be able to take down this guy by throwing a batarang or two?

Dude, you have Superman’s hearing. You can hear ANYONE ON THE PLANET and you’re a criminal… why would your go-to crime would be robbing banks and not blackmail?

In terms of absurdity, the guy who gets Superman’s strength because he ONLY has his hands is probably the least believable one, WHICH IS SAYING SOMETHING.

If only both Batman and Robin were part of a superhero team, someone could try helping them.
If only.

So let me get this straight, Lex’s master plan is:
1) steal Superman’s organs
2) get money to build stuff
3) steal nuclear weapons
4) world domination

And only AFTER THAT give himself Superman’s heart which will SOMEHOW make him immortal. Here’s a thought, Luthor, how about making yourself immortal NOW so that you have all the time in the world to conquer it!?!?

It’s not going to happen of course, but imagine the indignity if THIS was the villain to finally take down Batman.

You would expect Batman to get out of this one by fact he’s after a guy who blows just on the basis of being Batman, but nope, he has to use Superman’s toys.

Yeah these guys are REALLY underwhelming, aren’t they?

To be fair, WTF was the guy with just super-hearing supposed to do?

Aaaand then the guy with super-breath knocks the Dynamic Duo anyway.

Little known fact: in the 60s, the best cure for bruises and sore muscles was a suntan.

Batman has a plan, though: issue a challenge to the Fashion Victims.

Nice plan, Batman.

Ross Andru is trying his best, but nobody could possibly make these idiots look threatening.

And what was Batman’s secret weapon? The fact that he knew THE EXACT MOMENT where all the organs would be rejected SIMULTANEOUSLY.
Out of all the stupid things of this story, THAT must be the least believable!!!

Now you might be asking yourself two questions (besides “WHY?”). Wouldn’t using Kryptonite make more sense? And what happened to Luthor?
Well, turns out he’s not as gullible as it seems.

I’m tempted to do the usual “Guess the stupid ending”, but I’m fairly confident that all my readers figured out Discount Ming was actually Superman in disguise all along.

Soooo… remember when Superman and Supergirl made a whole replica of Krypton populated by androids? I mentioned it aaaall the way back during Action Comics 299, although it’s from an earlier story.

Superman just took one of the androids: that was the “Superman” that crashed on Earth at the beginning of part one.

To recap, Superman’s plan to arrest some gang leaders was:

1) get an android with his powers
2) fake his own death
3) leave in his will his intention to donate his organs to Batman
4) know Batman would refuse
5) pose as an alien telling Lex to steal the organs
6) know Lex would sell the organs and not implant them on himself
7) pose as a surgeon willing to make the transplant to criminals
8) make the surgery INSTEAD OF ARRESTING THESE WANTED CRIMINALS
9) allow the criminals to make more crimes
10) know Batman would deduce the weakness of the transplanted organs
11) show up to arrest the guys
and presumably
12) have the guys go to jail without hands, eyes, ears and LUNGS

Ladies and gentlemen, we might have found THE most needlessly complicated plan ever.

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Historical significance: 0/10
Come on.

 Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Superman can perform eye, hand, ears and lungs transplants from an android to humans.

Does it stand the test of time? 3/10
The premise is a neat idea: what if Superman donated his organs? But the execution leaves a lot to be desired, not to mention the ending is just dumb.

Did Robin actually do anything? Yes, just not anything useful

Did Superman really need Batman? Did he need to do ANY of this????