World’s Finest #228

World’s Finest #228 (1975)
by Bob Haney & Dick Dillin
cover by Nick Cardy

The covers of the anthology issues of World’s Finest are already bad enough, but now a third of space is lost to the title.

We begin with the death of Batman! THIS IS THE FIRST PAGE.

I’m betting Superman is the one who did it. Sure, you might ask “why would Superman need a knife to murder someone”. But can you think of a better alibi?

It really goes to show how insane this series is when Batman dies and we STILL have no idea of who his wife is!!!

But this issue answers the third most important question of this series (after “WHY!?” and “How did this get to the printing press?”): whatever happened to Robin?

And in typical Bob Haney fashion, this just raises more questions. Dick Grayson is at college, which is where I believe he was in 1975. So the Batman and Superman of this timeline are NOT the future, aged versions of the regular ones.

It’s also funny to see the original Robin argue about who is worthy to succeed Batman to a son of Bruce Wayne, because in later continuities Damian Wayne did end up as Robin.

I don’t particularly like Damian, but whenever he’s around the original Robin he’s far more bearable.

But yeah I am totally going to believe Batman just died at page 3 of a Super-Sons story.

So Bruce Wayne’s will is read. Remember that in 1975 he was rich but he wasn’t typically portrayed as THE richest man in the world.
Still, he leaves 20,000 $ a year to Alfred (that’s 114,136 $ in 2023 money) and a million dollars to Dick Grayson, which in 2023 would be 5.7 million dollars.
Did Dick REALLY think Bruce Wayne was going to mention IN HIS WILL that he was Batman!?

In case you’re wondering: yes, Batman Junior is equally dumb.

And finally 5 million dollars (28.5 millions in 2023) to a business partner we’ve never heard of.

I can’t get over the fact that these people EXPECTED Bruce to mention he was Batman in his will. What did they think would be in the will!?
“I also leave all of my Bat-gadgets that I totally paid taxes on”!?

The more I think about the idea that Batman Junior exists in the present day, the less sense it makes.
How much older is Robin than Bruce Junior? It can’t be too much, because Junior is also at college right? So was Batman supposed to be married with kids during all the classic adventures?

And then SUDDEN HARPOON!!!

Yeah I’m fine with retiring the title of Batman. BOTH YOU GUYS SUCK.

The guy who inherited 5 million dollars shows up and… come on Green Arrow, you’re not fooling anyone, it’s CLEARLY you!!!

I find it absolutely hilarious that, in this series, Batman seems to utterly dislike his own son. To the point that he left in his will “at least try making him less of a whiny b##ch before he gets the money”.

You may think he was the one to throw a harpoon at Bruce Wayne’s grave, but he has a better explanation: Eskimos followed him to throw a harpoon to a guy they’ve never seen.

Sounds legit.

So this turned into a mission to the Artic! With Superman and his son tagging along because they literally have nothing better to do in this story.

If you think there is no situation that Batman can’t make cool… think again.
Also: SOMEHOW Robin still manages to look goofier.

Still, props to Robin for going around the Artic dressed like that!!!

Not Green Arrow claims that the man who murdered Bruce Wayne is an Eskimo called Malook, so the Disastrous Duo tracks him there…

…and I swear I don’t know what’s going on anymore.

In case you’re wondering: Robin is full of crap, Eskimos CAN grow beards.

Batman Junior is fully behind Not Green Arrow being the good guy here. Which, based on precedents, means he’s 100% the villain.

Case in point, once they find Malook, turns out Not Green Arrow is a bastard who used Wayne’s money to murder seals.

Despite Malook not confessing murdering Bruce Wayne, Batman Junior acts as if he did.

Also great job at keeping your father’s secret identity, Junior!!! You are just. The. Worst.

At least Robin is not a complete idiot, so he convinces Junior to wait before murdering arresting Malook and first test if he’s saying the truth about potential proof.

Said proof being INSIDE AN ICEBERG SHAPED LIKE A BEAR.

This proves Malook’s story… somehow… and that *gasp* Not Green Arrow is the villain!

Also, in case you’re wondering where Superman was during all this… he was basically taking a nap.

Superman Junior can’t even catch a guy disguising himself as a seal.

Behold, the only real hero of this story!

Also Batman’s not dead. What a shocker.

No, what is REALLY a shocker is the SHEER INSANITY of Batman’s plan.

Hold on. Let me get this straight.

A guy shows up to assassinate Bruce Wayne and fails… no problem believing that… and accuses him of financing a criminal.
So Batman’s way of incriminating the guy is:
1) put in his will that Not Green Arrow has to take Bruce Junior to the Arctic
2) fake his own death
3) have Batman Junior and Robin travel to the Arctic
4) have Malook wait for Batman Junior and Robin
5) have Superman play dead the entire time
6) have Malook provide fake proof for Batman Junior and Robin
7) have Robin take the fake proof to Not Green Arrow. Note that if Robin wasn’t there, Batman Junior would just have murdered arrested Malook
8) hope Not Green Arrow confesses
Bonus: perhaps a dozen people just learned Batman is Bruce Wayne and he traumatized his wife.

Now I don’t claim to be the world’s greatest detective, but why wasn’t THIS the plan!?

1) stop financing the guy
2) ask how he used the money he used to give him
3) if he lies, investigate as Batman
Bonus: nobody has to learn Bruce Wayne is Batman AND you’re not traumatizing your wife!!!

Historical significance: 0/10