World’s Finest #230 (1975)
by Bob Haney & Curt Swan
cover by Ernie Chan
I love that basically every cover about the Super-Sons has either them or their parents messing up.
We begin with Batman Junior stopping a mugger…
…who turns out to be a cop chasing the actual mugger, who for some reason is dressed as a woman.
Wait, Junior is a teenager? From the previous Super-Sons stories I was under the impression he was a bit older, college at least.
Meanwhile, Superman Junior is saving a train from a collapsing bridge…
…which is actually full of dummies to simulate a disaster and help give rescuers a realistic training scenario. Please tell me nobody actually did this in real life because I feel this doesn’t really help training AT ALL.
Junior is bored out of his mind because there’s nothing exciting to do for a teenage superhero.
I wonder why he didn’t bother asking the Legion to take Junior. Then again, I have a pretty good idea of what they would have voted.
Instead, Superman and Batman decide to send their sons to an expedition uncovering a lost Mayan city. If it sounds like this is coming out of nowhere, it is.
They join the expedition with the archeologist and his son (who is there for some reason), where they run into a girl with the power to TURN A LAKE INTO A WHIRPOOL.
Superman Junior manages to save the ship’s supplies…
…but not the captain of the ship. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen!
Now I’m no world-famous explorer, but if I found a functional helicopter in the middle of nowhere I would be a little more hesitant to take it.
Told you.
Clark Junior saves himself and prevents the helicopter from crashing, but the son of the archeologist is lost. Normally I wouldn’t think for a moment that the son was dead, but with Superman Junior? The ship’s captain might not be the only victim of this expedition!
So can Superman Junior fly now? He used to only be able to jump very high.
The son of the archeologist is now the protagonist of this Miss Tarzan story.
I don’t know much about Mayans, other than their mythology can get ridiculously complex. I don’t think there’s a king named Hunab Ku, and I get the feeling that Miss Tarzan here being called “Mimaya” is just Bob Haney being lazy in coming up with a Mayan name.
One thing that definitely elevates this otherwise forgettable story is the Curt Swan artwork. This guy always gives 100% no matter the subject, doesn’t he? Just look at the level of detail and how much this scenario feels at the same time realistic and otherworldly!
Miss Tarzan’s father is a real piece of work.
You might think I was exaggerating saying the son of the archeologist is now the protagonist, but his father was kidnapped OFF-PANEL and we’re following HIS reaction.
Lady, you’ve known this guy for FIVE MINUTES and he’s literally the only person you have EVER met that is not your dad. You’re not in love, you just discovered the possibility of not committing incest.
Meanwhile, what are the Super-Sons up to during all this?
Yeah that sounds about right. This is a Bob Haney story, so Batman needs rescuing even if he’s threatened by inanimate objects.
You know I get the feeling that Bob Haney has a fetish for humiliating Batman.
He does fight a crocodile underwater, though.
But enough about that, let’s go back to the protagonist.
The Super-Sons show up to save him, giving one of the least believable explanations I’ve ever seen to save a secret identity.
Alright, despite all my bashing on Bob Haney, this is a great couple panels. Though it might all be thanks to Curt Swan.
Uhm, couldn’t you just draw Superman Junior break the magic stick, instead of doing something that doesn’t feel very Comics Code safe?
Batman Junior does his first bit of detective work since forever, deducing that the sorcerer is actually from the modern word because he has a vaccination mark.
Although the fact that he saw a plan when he fell into the lagoon with the crocodile helped.
This might be a be awkward since it’s a Superman story, but… YOU DIDN’T RECOGNIZE YOUR FRIEND!? He’s not wearing a mask!!!
If there is ONE thing I have learned about actual archeology from reading comics, is that you should NEVER go into an expedition with your best buddy if he’s married.
SOMEHOW one of the two ALWAYS ends up either dead or trapped for decades!!!
If you thought my Miss Tarzan joke was forced… her mother’s name was Jane. And she died shortly after giving birth, which itself was preceded by them crashing their plane into the lagoon.
My only complain about Curt Swan’s artwork in this story: the wife doesn’t look NEARLY pregnant enough to give birth “a few days later”!!!
See what I told you? NEVER go out on an expedition with a friend, he will ALWAYS betray you!!!
Then the Super-Sons let the protagonist and Miss Tarzan get away.
HOW ARE YOU SO BAD AT THIS!?
Dude, I know she’s cute and all, but maaaaaybe the girl who was raised to worship a stick with feathers and has never seen more then one human being is not the most stable girlfriend.
AMAZINGLY, Superman Junior saves them!!! And I’m dead serious, I did NOT expect him to do a single thing right.
The archeologist confesses his crime…
…and the moral of the story is that it’s better to live the life of an ordinary teenager if you really, REALLY suck at being a superhero.
In my headcanon, she will end up sacrificing her boyfriend to the Mayan gods.
Historical significance: 0/
Maybe that lost city should’ve stayed lost.
Silver Age-ness: 7/
So the archeologist just happened to run into the magic feathered stick or what?
Does it stand the test of time? 4/
Curt Swan does ALL the heavy lifting here. Aside from the great artwork, there’s nothing salvageable here… this has no business being a Super-Sons story, you could swap them with any other hero and the only difference would be that they would be at least competent.
Did Superman really need Batman? Neither of them did anything