Cosmic Boy #3

Cosmic Boy #3 (1987)
by Paul Levitz & Keith Giffen
cover by Steve Lighle

We’re halfway through the miniseries: will something finally happen?

Cosmic Boy and Night Girl have had enough about their vacation in the 20th century (can you believe it, with all the excitement we’ve seen so far?) and have decided to go back home.

Involving the rest of the Legion to uncover this mystery makes sense, sure, but it’s also a reminder that Cosmic Boy himself has been remarkably useless.

So they recover the Time Bubble™ that was hidden behind trees and rocks.

The artwork in this miniseries has been underwhelming to say the least, but the time travel itself finally brings some much-needed creativity.

Everything looks fine at first, until they hit a wall in time. It’s so bad they have to make an emergency landing back in the 20th century.

Okay so far the issue has been very slow… it’s already SIX PAGES with very little actually happening… but at least it’s picking up the pace.
You know what the story really needs at this point?

Plot Convenient News Network:  it beats writing dialogue

This has absolutely nothing to do with the time travel shenanigans and it’s only here to make this a tie-in to Legends. And IT TAKES UP A WHOLE PAGE.

Night Girl injured herself during the crash, which makes little sense.
We know this scene HAS to be set at night, because earlier she used her super-strength. I know she doesn’t explicitly have invulnerability… but if you’re super-strong surely you’d be at least A LITTLE more durable than an ordinary person, right?

More worryingly, the crash has damaged the Time Bubble™ and Cosmic Boy has no idea how to repair it and they have no way to contact the Legion.
He decides NOT to contact Superman, which is… weird. In the previous issues he learned that the post-Crisis Superman doesn’t remember him, but… he’s still a hero, so why not ask?
Sure, after Crisis Superman can no longer time travel on his own, but Cosmic Boy doesn’t know that!

This is an interesting angle: as a history buff Cosmic Boy should know about several people living in the 20th century that are smart enough to repair a time machine, but the fact that history has been changed complicates things. But it would be interesting to see which heroes he’d try contacting (my first hunch is Batman).

But instead of that, what does the comic decide to focus on for ANOTHER full page?

Plot Convenient News Network:  it beats writing dialogue

Okay, after THAT waste of time, who does Cosmic Boy actually contact to repair the Time Bubble™? Jason, everyone’s* favorite returning character from issue 2.
^{*citation needed}

Cosmic Boy… you literally contacted the last person you met. Because I guess being smart enough to design a Space Shuttle qualifies you to repair a time machine from a 1,000 years in the future?
Are we SURE Night Girl was the only one hurting herself during the crash?

On one hand, I might have been too harsh on Cosmic Boy because I think this scene suggests that he KNOWS how to repair the Time Bubble™.
But on the other hand, he knows how to repair a time machine but not how to use wires? Doesn’t that make even LESS sense?

But apparently this works. Goodbye Jason, I will forget your existence five minutes after posting this review.

The original time machine crash was at page 6.
We are now at page 15 and the same exact thing happens, AGAIN.

Oh good, more Legends stuff, because we haven’t wasted enough pages already!!!

Plot Convenient News Network:  it beats writing dialogue

Wait, you’re checking NOW why the time machine crashed? We’re at page 17, why didn’t you do that AT PAGE 6 ???

Cosmic Boy then brings up a minor point about his origin story: the fact that he was born on Earth.

That’s a neat explanation for why Cosmic Boy is generally shown to have stronger powers than other people from his planet. It’s a little forced to have Earth having the strongest magnetic field in the galaxy, but it’s not impossible… Earth’s field IS pretty strong when compared to the other terrestrial planets we know of, and of course so far it’s the only inhabited one.*
^{*citation needed}

That was a nice moment this miniseries desperately needed.
What it DOESN’T need, however, is A FULL SPLASH PAGE focusing entirely on Cosmic Boy’s struggle to power the time machine.
It’s good artwork, and Giffen seems to have put more work into it than in the rest of the story, but… WHY?

But FINALLY they break through the time wall.

Aaaaand now they can’t stop.

So the ship crashes, AGAIN.

At least it’s not in the same place: they’ve landed at the End Of Time.

Wait wait wait… you mean to tell me that THIS WHOLE TIME you didn’t think even ONCE that the Time Trapper could be behind this!?
Cosmic Boy… you have ONE enemy whose entire deal is MESSING WITH TIME!

To recap, this is a 22 page story where…

• 4 pages are about recovering the Time Bubble
• 2 pages are about the first crash
• 6 pages are about fixing the Time Bubble
• 1 page is about the second crash
• 5 pages are about powering up the Time Bubble. Including a splash page.
• 3 pages are TV newscasts
• 1 page is the Time Trapper reveal

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Legion significance: 0/10
We learn the Time Trapper is messing with time. The specifics WILL be important down the line, but they’re definitely not here!

Silver Age-ness: 6/10
Cosmic Boy’s stupidity reaches Jimmy Olsen levels at this point. How could you NOT think about the Time Trapper!?!?

Does it stand the test of time? 2/10
I’m a sucker for time travel stories, I like mysteries, the Time Trapper is my favorite Legion villain, and when he’s not written like an idiot I like Cosmic Boy as a character.
So in theory I should be the target audience for this story! But as I keep complaining, this miniseries wastes sooooo much time without getting anything done.
It doesn’t help that the solution to the big mystery… who has been messing with time… is incredibly anticlimactic because OF COURSE IT WAS THE TIME TRAPPER!!!