“Dial H for HERO” moves to the backup feature of the latest Superboy series… but don’t expect the quality to get much better.
New Adventures of Superboy #28 (1982)
written by Bob Rozakis & E. Nelson Bridwell
pencils by Alex Saviuk
cover by Kurt Shaffenberger
I won’t be talking about the Superboy stories because frankly they’re not very interesting… the most remarkable thing about them is the very retro Shaffenberger artwork.
The kids don’t even get a proper re-introduction. Then again, it’s not exactly a concept that requires much explanation.
Chris’s transformation sure gives credit to the idea that the H-Dial is magic.
Even more interestingly, Vicki transforms into a hero that was literally created seconds ago by one of her friends. So I guess the idea could be that the H-Dials creates heroes by turning imagination into reality?
This series continues the idea from DC Comics Presents #44 that The Master is creating new supervillains to battle the two kids.
It’s also the first time both Chris and Vicki transform into only ONE superhero each!
The fact that I’m skipping the story entirely should tell you how much this improves the story.
New Adventures of Superboy #29 (1982)
by E. Nelson Bridwell & Howard Bender
Behold: the absolute worst dancing you will ever seen in a comic book!
Oh who am I kidding, of course there’s a worse one out there.
This issue’s transformations are Tar-Man and Miss Hourglass. We don’t get to know the ages of the creators, but I’m willing to bet HER creator already hit puberty.
She has the power to speed up time, which backfires because it leads Chris to change back into his human form too quickly.
Well if she keeps speeding up time I will be done with those issues quickly, and they’re already a fast read (7 and a half pages, and yet barely anything happens).
New Adventures of Superboy #30 (1982)
by E. Nelson Bridwell & Howard Bender
Vicki continues to be the one with the best powers.
Can Mister Opposite turn this series into a good one?
He’s definitely overpowered, able to reverse THIS damage to the city…
…AND to stop the sound-based villain from using sound.
No Chris, you don’t get extra points for not being a complete dumbass.
New Adventures of Superboy #31 (1982)
by E. Nelson Bridwell & Howard Bender
Even this series can’t keep up the idea that The Master is behind the villains. Because the sound-based “Disc Jokey” (yes, really) already had his own origin, but now we’re dealing with interdimensional aliens as well!
Chris is stuck home with a cold. What, no contest to have the readers design his sickness?
He still turns into Power Punch. Whose sneezes also pack a punch?
Vicki turns into the more creatively designed Sirocco.
But her effort to helps Chris fails, and she’s transported to another dimension.
New Adventures of Superboy #32 (1982)
by E. Nelson Bridwell & Howard Bender
Vicki doesn’t transform in this issue, but she doesn’t need to: she ends up developing her OWN superpowers when she’s exposed to the red white sun from another dimension!
Still better than power-sneezing.
New Adventures of Superboy #33 (1982)
by E. Nelson Bridwell & Howard Bender
The kids have to deal with a movie shoot in this one. I think they didn’t ask readers to design the bathing suits because Vicki is either still 14 or at most she’s 15 now.
The villain of the story has one of the most bonkers I’ve seen in a while… a woman who accidentally gives herself superpowers by electrocuting herself to get over her fear of water.
Chris gets a rather generic power…
…but Vicki has one of the most creative ones! Not only she can change into TWO heroes at once (like Robby did once), but they have INCREDIBLY broad powers.
I’m counting this as TWO separate heroines.
Talk about overpowered!
This is a story where the supervillain with the bonkers origin has the power to create FREAKING KAIJUS WITH HER HAIR…
…so Vicki fights her by creating TWO more Kaijus!!!
And Chris was there I guess.
New Adventures of Superboy #34 (1982)
by E. Nelson Bridwell & Howard Bender
The same villain from the previous issue has a new scheme: instead of creating Kaijus, she uses her hair to create monsters from ALL water sources in the town.
Well, that’s the intended plan. The ACTUAL plan, however, is fanservice.
The kids fight the new monsters with a couple of uninspired transformations.
If you get the impression that these stories are occasionally interesting because something cool shows up for a couple of panels… I’m sorry for misleading you: these are incredibly boring stories.
New Adventures of Superboy #35 (1982)
by E. Nelson Bridwell & Howard Bender
The Master is back, and he’s after the secret that gave superpowers to Naiad… the one with the hair that creates monsters from the previous issue.
The kids show up to stop his agent.
Since Chris is a shapeshifter now, he decides to turn into Superman.
Aaaaaand it doesn’t work out. I’m not counting Superman as a separate transformation, by the way.
This time Vicki is the one stuck with lame powers. Technically speaking she’s animating her cape here, but the artwork makes it look like it’s a more gross power doesn’t it?
In the ONLY decent plot twist so far, it turns out that Chris has transformed himself into Naiad in order to have The Master kidnap him and not the real one.
Which makes Chris the first H-Dial user who transforms into a different gender, although with an extra step.
(I’m also not counting Naiad as a hero transformation since she’s a supervillain)
New Adventures of Superboy #36 (1982)
by E. Nelson Bridwell & Howard Bender
The title of this story is “Heroes aren’t born, they’re dialed”. Which is an EXCELLENT tagline for the series!!!
It’s finally time to actually meet The Master, with Chris having a chance to understand who his enemy truly is.
And Chris IMMEDIATELY loses the H-Dial.
Turns out the new dials have a limitation that the original H-Dial lacked: you return to your real form if you lose them.
We don’t get a proper look at The Master, but he gets Chris’s H-Dial and transforms into Great Jupiter.
Which is actually a good thing, because dialing made The Master a hero! So he ends up fighting his own minions. Which is relatively easy since he now has super-strength and invulnerability.
Hey that’s a SECOND twist that works: the fact that The Master will return to being a villain the second the hero transformation runs out.
But he can also generate gas to mimic Jupiter’s atmosphere.
Which means the gas he’s releasing should be 89% hydrogen and 10% helium, so it’s a miracle this place doesn’t burst into flames!
And no, I’m not making a joke about creating gas, I already did that with The Fan.
Speaking of Vicki’s transformations, she gets one at the very end when she decides to go looking for Chris.
New Adventures of Superboy #37 (1983)
by E. Nelson Bridwell & Howard Bender
Vicki’s transformation is a pre-cognitive, which is handy in finding where Chris is and on telling him how to defeat The Master’s transformation.
Infuriatingly, they STILL can’t capture The Master because he vanishes the second he doesn’t have the H-Dial anymore.
Once again: please no spoilers in the comments from people who know The Master’s origin.
So we’re stuck with just lame transformations for the rest of the story.
And I think that’s enough Dial-H for the moment. Can you believe we’re the half-point of their run on this series and basically nothing has happened???
Historical significance: 0/10
Basically ignored by everything.
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
Kaijus created by magical hair by someone who got powers by trying to cure herself from fear of water AND thered white sun of a different dimension giving humans Kryptonian powers!!!
Does it stand the test of time?: 2/10
Normally I wouldn’t give a score when I skip so much story, but… what story?
We have definitely identified that the problem with the Dial H revival is not having too many hero transformations in the same story. Because in these stories they just one most of the time, two occasionally, and more than once they don’t trasform at all… but it still falls flat.
It’s because of the three other problems with this relaunch: the stories are still way too short (6 to 8 pages), the characters are boring and generic, and their villains are not very compelling.
Saved from a 0/10 by having SOME interesting twists here and there, but it’s too little.
Dial K for King transformations: 67
Dial V for Vicki transformations: 62
Dial R for Robby Reed identities: 51
Chris gets a total of 8 transformations, and Vicki 9.
Dial M for Master transformations: 1
The panel with Chris sick in bed is weird. Is that his mom in the room with him? Why is she posing with the tv like she’s a model presenting a prize on a game show? How many 14-year-old Tim Curry fans were there in 1982?
I do like the phrase “weirdo-snatcher of Dad,” though. It sounds like the title of a Cocteau Twins b-side.
The sun in the other dimension is actually white, meaning that this is a second reference by Bridwell to the idea that humans get Superman’s powers underneath a white sun.
Long-time lurker on the site, first-time commenter. I’ve really been enjoying your reviews. Takes me back to my youth, when comics were a big part of my life. Keep them coming!
Love the moment in Superboy 36 when Chris exclaims “Hot socks!” Never heard that one before, but I think that’s a better catchphrase than “Sockamagee!” I’m going to try to use that one in my life.
Also, in Superboy 34, Chris is wearing a t-shirt that says “Hose Head” on it. Got to be a reference to Bob and Doug McKenzie from the SCTV tv show. Look it up if you’re not familiar. Very funny stuff.