Random thoughts: Herald ranking

While it doesn’t come up often in my reviews, I absolutely love the cosmic side of Marvel.
Including everything connected to Galactus, which made me think: who would be the best of his many, many heralds?

No heralds from other continuities, unless I have something specific to say.
I will assign points in different categories:

Herald value: it’s ostensibly a job, so how good is the character at actually finding planets
Personality: how interesting, entertaining and interesting is the character
Character design: how much creativity went into the character
Years of service: how long did they keep the job?
Wildcard: if there’s something that elevates the character above others, they get extra points with its own category. Is it fair? No, but neither is having your planet eaten by a giant with a questionable taste in hats.
Total score: each category is on a scale from 1 to 10, meaning the potential top score is 50.
Will anyone get that high?

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KA-ZAR

Everyone can be a herald I guess.

This is during the Jason Aaron run of Avengers, and I dropped out of that book waaaay before this happened.

Herald value: ???
Personality: ???
Character design: ???
Wildcard: ???
Years of service: ???
Total score: ???
Obviously I can’t score this one, but it was so absurd I had to mention it.

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PLASMA

Galactus shows up at the end of Heroes Reborn, and so do several heralds. All of them already existed… except Plasma who is there for some reason.
I bring her up because she’s the poster child for what NOT to do when creating new heralds!!!

Talk about a blank slate. She’s also not in continuity, but I bring her up for just how bland some of these rushed heralds can be.

 Herald value: 0/10
Personality: 0/10
Character design: 0/10
Wildcard: 0/10
Years of service: 0/10
Total score: 0/50

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RED SHIFT

 

Introduced without explanation in the atrocious “Galactus: The Devourer” miniseries from 1999. 

Herald value: 0/10
Galactus dies over the course of that miniseries. ‘Nuff Said.
Personality: 0/10
We never learn ANYTHING about this guy. And I do mean ANYTHING.
Character design: 2/10
The dual swords are a neat idea. But even that is kind of lame since he barely uses them.
Wildcard: 0/10
Unless you count him to trips someone in a trivia contest about the heralds.
Years of service: 1/10
Introduced in 1999. Disappears for ages and is killed during Annihilation in 2006.
Total score: 3/50

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HUNGER

In the Ultimate Universe, “Gah Lak Tus” was a swarm of planet-eating robots.
When Galactus gets into the Ultimate Universe, he turns them into his heralds.

Herald value: 2/10
Technically speaking he merges with the robots, SOMEHOW, but there’s a reason he never brings them back.
Personality: 0/10
Personality? What’s that?
Character design: 6/10
The swarm as a whole looks cool.
Wildcard: 0/10
If you think “Galactus” sounds stupid, why would “Gah Lak Tus” be any better?
Years of service: 1/10
A single miniseries.
Total score: 9/50

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THE FALLEN ONE

Keith Giffen retconned this guy into having been the ORIGINAL Herald, who went insane ages ago. And now he hates Galactus because of course he does.
He showed up in a Thanos miniseries and was later unceremoniously killed during Annihilation.

Herald value: 3/10
Galactus keeps trying to get rid of him and doesn’t seem to have much of an emotional attachment to him.
Personality: 2/10
No wonder Galactus doesn’t care about him, he’s duller than Silver Surfer’s board.
Character design: 0/10
He’s supposed to be a darker version of Silver Surfer… so he’s just Silver Surfer but black and with a mullet.
Wildcard: 2/10
Unlike most of the Heralds, his power doesn’t come entirely out of the Power Cosmic: he also has control over dark matter on his own.
Years of service: 2/10
Introduced in 2004 and killed off in 2006. Technically speaking he served for “millennia”.
Total score: 9/50

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PRAETER

This was an interesting concept. A human priest becomes herald of Galactus!

Too bad nothing comes from this.

Herald value: 0/10
After the Thor storyline that ends with him becoming herald, he only has cameos.
Personality: 7/10
A bit of navel gazing from the Matt Fraction run, but well done.
Character design: 0/10
We BARELY see him, but he’s just Golden Surfer.
Wildcard: 8/10
On the strength of the concept alone even if, again, nothing is done with it.
Years of service: 0/10
We never really see him serve as herald! He has cameos later, but I don’t think he’s an active herald anymore.
Total score: 15/50

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DESTROYER

Yes, the Thor villain.

Well, not really a villain as much as a weapon that tends to be used against him. The Destroyer is an EXTREMELY powerful magic armor that is “piloted” by the soul it absorbs. Being an empty vessel, it was offered to Galactus to serve as his herald by taking the place of Firelord.

Herald value: 5/10
One of the few Heralds that never rebels. But once someone steals it, Galactus doesn’t even bother taking it back, so it can’t be THAT effective.
Personality: 0/10
The reason why it doesn’t rebel. It has no mind of its own.
Character design: 10/10
It’s a Kirby design.
Wildcard: 0/10
Everyone keeps forgetting the Destroyer acted as a herald, to the point it’s not even used for the reunions unless it’s a parody.
Years of service: 3/10
Galactus takes the Destroyer as his herald in 1974’s Thor #228. Three years later, Loki steals it for his plan and Galactus goes for a new herald.
Total score: 18/50

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MORG

I can only imagine the thought process Galactus had when choosing this guy.
“My heralds keep betraying be because they don’t want innocents to die. Except Terrax, he was cool about it. Who can I pick as herald that is like Terrax but infinitely worse?”.
So he picks an insane executioner.
Sounds legit.

Herald value: 10/10
As scary as it sounds, Morg is kind of the perfect herald. He follow Galactus because he’s the strongest being in the universe and has no interest in taking his place. Even after Galactus kills him because Morg murdered Nova without his permission, Galactus STILL later resurrects him.
Personality: 4/10
Not a complex character by any means, but he does have his own twisted sense of morality. If you can call “the strongest is always right” mentality: when Galactus shows up, he offers himself to be the executioner of his whole planet!!!
Character design: 0/10
Very little thought went into “muscled space barbarian #87” here.
Wildcard: 2/10
After getting the Power Cosmic, he gets himself a magical power-up to be the strongest herald ever.
Years of service: 3/10
Morg is introduced in 1992 and dies the same year, only to be resurrected and being the herald until 1995, when he’s disintegrated. That doesn’t stop him from popping up sometimes, the last one being in 2022.
Total score: 19/50

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INVISIBLE BOY

This is a weird one.
Galactus wanted to turn the Invisible Woman into his herald for reasons, but at the time her powers had been switched with those of the Human Torch.
So poor Johnny had to be herald for a couple of issues.

Herald value: 0/10
The mission ends up turning Galactus into a human!!!
Personality: 10/10
It’s Johnny Storm.
Character design: 4/10
This is from the Waid & Wieringo run, so weird to see such a generic design.
Wildcard: 6/10
The idea that the Power Cosmic increased invisibility power SO much that he could see even through Galactus’s soul is amazing.
Years of service: 0/10
Just a couple of issues.
Total score: 20/50

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ZOLOZ

He may sound like an antidepressant, but this is a powerful wizard.
His counterpart from an alternate timeline was able to exile Galactus to a magic dimension, but Doctor Strange made sure that the Zoloz of HIS timeline just offered himself as a herald.

Herald value: 0/10
We never actually see him serve.
Personality: 6/10
Not terribly complex.
Character design: 6/10
Does its job.
Wildcard: 8/10
Giving him the job is MUCH better to the disaster that his counterpart brought by exiling Galactus into a magic universe.
Years of service: 0/10
He becomes herald in 2019. Even when we later see cameos of lesser heralds, he’s not among them.
Total score: 20/50

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AIR-WALKER

The fact that he’s the herald that succeeds Silver Surfer is basically the only thing that people tend to remember about him. If people remember him at all.

And what a massive downgrade: we went from an alien-looking guy surfing through space to someone who looks like a regular human walking in the air and playing a trumpet.
Technically speaking we never actually see the original Air-Walker in the role! He gets killed by the Ovoid aliens and he’s replaced by an android created by Galactus who has the memories of the original.

Herald value: 9/10
Galactus likes this guy so much he immediately created a robot duplicate! However he did manage to get himself killed by the Ovoids, something I can’t imagine most other heralds struggling with.
Personality: 4/10
Supposedly the reason why Galactus likes him is that he’s something of a soulmate… his passion for space exploration reminds Galactus of his mortal days. He’s still incredibly boring to anyone else (except Firelord I suppose).
Character design: 4/10
His overall design is pretty lame, saved only by the fire wings. When the android is reactivated in the 90s his look SIGNIFICANLY improves, but it’s too little too late!

Wildcard: 1/10
The second herald introduced.
Years of service: 3/10
This is complicated. We see him as a herald in 1972 and he presumably has the role until 1974 introduces Firelord. Although the android wasn’t destroyed until 1981, only to be repaired in the 90s and popping up here and there. While he didn’t exactly return to the full herald position, for a little while he piloted Galactus’s ship.
Total score: 21/50

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COSMIC GHOST RIDER

This is an alternate reality Punisher who gets the power of Ghost Rider and the Power Cosmic from Galactus in order to murder Thanos.

Some readers have issue with him existing as a character as a whole, but I think they’re looking at this from the wrong angle for three reasons:
1) he’s DELIBERATELY over-the-top, because he’s a parody/homage of Lobo!!! Which is kind of weird since Lobo is himself a parody.
2) he doesn’t replace in any way the actual Punisher who still does his own thing
3) sometimes we need some truly mindless fun just for the heck of it

Herald value: 4/10
Unlike other heralds, he’s not exactly chosen to find planets for Galactus but to help him fight Thanos. Considering that Thanos eventually does kill that version of Galactus…
Personality: 3/10
Befitting a parody, he’s not exactly deep.
Character design: 8/10
Barely anything from the Punisher design carries over, but the Ghost Rider part is as cool as always.
Wildcard: 5/10
Equal parts stupidly awesome and awesomely stupid.
Years of service: 2/10
He’s a 2017 character, and the Galactus of his reality was killed in 2018. The character is still around, though.
Total score: 22/50

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DEADPOOL

Galactus is so desperate to find a herald that he advertises!

Yep. This happened.

Herald value: 2/10
Galactus initially appreciates Deadpool’s efficiency, but he very soon fires him for being irritating.

Personality: 8/10
It’s Deadpool. The humor in his solo stories can be hit or miss, but I thought this issue was pretty funny.

Character design: 2/10
No thought went into changing Deadpool’s design, but he does have an… interesting choice in transportation.

Wildcard: 10/10
The ending sees Deadpool join Heralds Of Galactus Anonymous, which is just freaking hilarious!!!

Years of service: 0/10
Barely feeds Galactus a couple of planets.
Total score: 22/50

 How can you dislike a comic that remembers that Dazzler was very briefly a herald?
Speaking of which…

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DAZZLER

Hey remember that time Galactus gave Dazzler the Power Cosmic so that she could fly inside a black hole and power herself up with sound beamed from space and use light to escape the black hole?
Good times.

Herald value: 6/10
She accomplishes the mission, which is a rarity for Dazzler in general.
Personality: 7/10
The Dazzler of this period is a complete idiot, but an entertaining one.
Character design: 0/10
Absolutely nothing is changed from Dazzler’s usual attire.
Wildcard: 10/10
Using sound IN SPACE and light IN A BLACK HOLE.
Years of service: 0/10
Alright, TECHNICALLY she’s not a herald, but I had to mention this insanity.
Total score: 23/50

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FIRELORD

The third herald introduced, and the writers’ favorite one to show how powerful someone is if they can beat a herald and Silver Surfer is not available.

Herald value: 1/10
Becomes a herald exclusively because he wants to find out what happened to Gabriel, his heterosexual life partner who became Air-Walker. And he left the job the instant the Destroyer was offered as a substitute.
Personality: 6/10
I’ve always had a soft spot for Firelord but to this day I have no idea what his personality is. The only things that tend to stick is that he’s a bit of a hothead (what a shocker) and that he still cares about his home planet Xandar.
Character design: 8/10
An extremely solid design, from the recognizable fire hair to the staff. However the fact that you can’t tell if he’s wearing clothes or not is a bit too distracting.
Still, I’ll take the original look over the Annihilation design because what the heck is this Human Torch cosplay!?

Wildcard: 8/10
Considering he’s not a household name, Firelord has connections to a surprising amount of people. Besides the other heralds, he used to be a member of the Nova Corps. Since he’s from Xandar he has a vendetta against Nebula, who destroyed said planet. And he’s formed  a friendship with Starfox of all people.
Years of service: 1/10
Introduced in 1974 on the pages of Thor #225, only to leave the job just three issues later.
Total score: 24/50

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SUPERMAN

Yep. This happened.
And it’s not a bad story either!

Herald value: 6/10
Exactly the same route as Silver Surfer: the perfect herald until his conscience resurfaces.
Personality: 10/10
IT’S SUPERMAN.
Character design: 3/10
That is a rather predictable fusion of Superman and Silver Surfer.
Wildcard: 6/10
It’s from DC… and it’s technically canon!
Years of service: 1/10
Despite being an intra-company crossover, a namedrop to the character of Access means that this is TECHNICALLY part of mainstream continuity.
Total score: 26/50

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THOR

Galactus not only makes Thor his herald, but this is a Thor who had already inherited the power of Odin. So he’s most definitely the most powerful herald ever, and for a reason: Galactus recruited him to stop the Black Winter, the same cataclysm that destroyed the universe Galactus is from.

Herald value: 2/10
Thor does defeat the Black Winter, but also kills Galactus.
Personality: 10/10
IT’S THOR.
Character design: 7/10
Not a huge variation from Thor, but recognizable enough.
Wildcard: 8/10
The most powerful herald AND a fight with the same force that created Galactus.
Years of service: 1/10
And you thought you had a rough 2020. Galactus had a hard time too!
Total score: 28/50

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TERRAX

For the most part, the Heralds are not bad guys: they just have a problematic job.
This guy is one of the exceptions. I’ve always had a soft spot for Terrax: the magnificent storyline in the Byrne years, Fantastic Four #242-244, is the first Galactus story I ever read that features heralds.
And he works perfectly in showing just how lucky we are that Silver Surfer is a good guy.

Herald value: 4/10
Spends most of his time plotting to get the better of Galactus. However he must be doing something right if the big guy goes through the trouble of hiring Dazzler to save him from a black hole.
Personality: 8/10
You would think he would just be a world conqueror, but he’s been given some character development; especially during Annihilation. He’s still a scumbag, but he’s a complex scumbag.
Character design: 10/10
Perfect job, no notes.
Wildcard: 8/10
The most consistent “evil herald”. Surprisingly enough, there’s one aspect that barely ever gets brought up: technically speaking, the Fantastic Four are responsible for him receiving the Power Cosmic.
Years of service: 3/10
Introduced in 1979 on Fantastic Four #211. Despite multiple rebellions, he lasts until 1982.
Total score: 33/50

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STARDUST

Basically “Morg done better”. A member of an incredibly old race of energy beings… that she then gleefully feeds to Galactus.

Because Stardust is basically a religious fanatic that utterly adores and worships Galactus; she considers being eaten by him to be the highest possible honor, and she despises the heralds that betrayed him. In other words: Stardust is delightfully insane.
Her gender is inconsistent: she’s mostly referred as being female, but male and neutral pronouns have also been used.
Considering she used to be an energy being, it’s probably not even an applicable concept.

Herald value: 10/10
Galactus doesn’t care about the fact that she worships him, and is possibly slightly annoyed by it. But she’s incredibly efficient.
Personality: 6/10
Let’s hope she never gets the Terrax route because she’d be exponentially worse. That being said, she’s not exactly complex.
Character design: 10/10
Now THAT is an alien design! Also, there are several variations in her colors.
Wildcard: 5/10
We’ve had heralds that worship Galactus. We’ve had heralds in love with Galactus. Stardust is worse than them COMBINED.
Years of service: 10/10
Introduced in 2006 and served until… possibly now? There’s no story where she’s dismissed, and even served together with Silver Surfer for a while.
If confirmed, she would be the longest serving herald if we count publishing years.
Which makes sense, since good luck convincing her to quit the job!
Total score: 41/50

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SILVER SURFER

Herald value: 7/10
Yes, despite the fact that he’s the literal template, that Galactus keeps either taking him back and that in-universe he’s the longest serving (with the possible exception of the Fallen One)… he doesn’t get the top score in this category.
Whenever he’s brought back to the herald position, he insists on leading Galactus to uninhabited worlds which DO sustain him, but that’s wildly inefficient. Not to mention that, because of retcons, Galactus had to mentally manipulate him to keep him as an herald without going crazy.
Personality: 10/10
It’s Silver Surfer! I’m in the minority in that I really, really can’t stand him in the Stan Lee series… but he’s grown into an incredibly complex character.
Character design: 10/10
Again: it’s SILVER. SURFER.
Wildcard: 5/10
By virtue of being the original AND working both as a solo protagonist and a team player with the Defenders.
Years of service: 10/10
This is super complicated. He’s dropped as a herald in his first storyline but as mentioned he was in the position for a long time and he’s temporarily gone back several times. Let’s keep things simple and just give him the highest score.
Total score: 42/50

Controversial opinion, but I do place a herald above him in my personal ranking. This doesn’t mean Silver Surfer isn’t the best CHARACTER among these… otherwise it would be just a contest between him and Johnny… but I think there is a better HERALD.

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NOVA

Frankie Raye was an official member of the Fantastic Four after gaining the same powers of her boyfriend Johnny Storm, and then offered herself as herald to save Earth from Galactus.
She even helped him carry out one of his most historically significant meals, the destruction of the Skrull homeworld.

Unfortunately she SOMEHOW frequently ended up being the damsel in distress, being murdered by Morg.

Herald value: 9/10
Up until Silver Surfer convinced her otherwise, Frankie was completely devoid of any empathy for aliens and carried her duties with shocking efficiency; she even hinted she was falling for Galactus!

Personality: 9/10
Frankie is an interesting case. She starts off as a random Johnny love interest, with the quirk of being afraid of fire. Then she becomes a superheroine and a member of the Fantastic Four in everything but name… but she was surprisingly brutal even there!
She gets to explore various facets of being a herald of Galactus, but as mentioned in the later years she’s often sidelined.
If anything, when working with the FF she was more bloodthirsty than as a herald!

Character design: 10/10
Both her human form and her cosmic form are fantastic.

Wildcard: 6/10
Despite some VERY strong links to the Fantastic Four, once she goes into space she barely ever interacts with them. She has great interactions with Silver Surfer, has a brief fling with Firelord, and surprisingly enough she’s a love interest for Hercules in his alternate future miniseries.
Which brings us to the other reason she’s so high: the sheer number of fantastic stories set in the future where she’s still herald.

Years of service: 10/10
Frankie serves as herald from 1982 to her death in 1992. Which as you have seen is a lot for this bunch!!! She was resurrected in 2010 in a rather incomprehensible miniseries.
Total score: 44/50

If we’re talking about regular continuity, Nova is the best herald in my opinion.

However, if we count alternate realities…

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GOLDEN OLDIE

You may know her as “Aunt May”, before she was accidentally made herald instead of Frankling Richards.

Herald value: 10/10
Forget planets. She brings Twinkles©!!!

Personality: 10/10
With great power comes great cooking.

Character design: 10/10
Perfect in every way. No more arthritis.

Wildcard: 10/10
She feeds Galactus a planet-sized Twinkles© that will sustain him for centuries.

Years of service: 10/10
Golden Oldie was just a dream. But a dream of Galactus, who can make dreams reality, so in a way Golden Oldie will live forever.

 Total score: 50/50

You could argue that Golden Oldie shouldn’t count because the following panel shows this isn’t even Galactus but just a dream himself, and because this is a parody story.
If you hate fun.