Doom Patrol #93

Doom Patrol #93 (1964)
by Arnold Drake & Bruno Premiani
cover by Bob Brown

Considering the latest villains weren’t particularly impressive, I welcome the return of the Brotherhood Of Evil.

We begin with the Doom Patrol being asked protect a visiting foreign head of state.
Two things about this: first of all, we’re never told what country “Premier Daniel” is from.
Second, I feel like having the authorities constantly asking the Doom Patrol to help is not exactly helping the idea that they’re treated as misfits.
Not saying it can’t work… you can do the “you only call us when you need us but keep us away from the public” approach… but when was the last time we saw a civilian treat them badly?

After several issues where he was completely useless, Negative Man is quite impressive here: first by taking the rest of the team flying, and then stopping a bullet after it’s been fired.

Robotman also gets into the action.

Speaking of Robotman, he gets the spotlight in this issue when he visits a famous biologist.

This is because Robotman read this guy can create human-like bodies without a brain, which is exactly what he needs.

There’s a slight problem with that: the last body he created looks even worse than the Shaggy Man.

Good thing that plastic surgery can easily turn a hideous monster into a handsome man.

If that sounds too good to be true, that’s because it is. The scientist is secretly Madame Rouge.

The whole reason for this is that Brain wants him, uhm, brain to be transferred into Robotman’s body.
Which of course makes sense, but I really don’t like this plot.
It makes the Brain EXPLICITLY less smart than Chief (who designed Robotman’s robot), when I think the dynamic between the two teams is better served by having a rivalry between them.
Especially since Brain doesn’t even TRY building himself a robot body!!!

Chief, you DID tell Robotman that you bugged his body, right?
Right?

So now we have Brain inside Robotman’s body.

As if poor Robotman didn’t already have enough bad luck, now he’s struck in the Brain’s jar.

Another reason why I dislike this plot: the Brain has ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to keep Robotman’s brain alive!!!

The Doom Patrol is such a tightly fit team that the others will naturally immediately figure out that this is not… oh who am I kidding, of course they fall for it.

Did… did Chief just do my “Sounds legit” running gag but play it straight?

Serious question: with the exception of Robotman/Brain, wouldn’t everyone else have severe eye strain by looking at this GINORMOUS TV screen so close?

The Brain’s giant robot makes a return.

Why would you need to summon the giant robot to lure the Doom Patrol out in the open when THE BRAIN IS IN THEIR HEADQUARTERS???
Heck, they currently think he’s Robotman, all he needs to do is say “Please follow me to this location, I have something interesting to show”!!!

Guys, I think we need to seriously reconsider whether the Brain is the genius he thinks he is.
If it was absolutely necessary to keep Robotman’s brain alive, couldn’t you at least:
1) not give him the speaker
2) CLOSE THE WINDOW

Brain’s only advantage is that Robotman is the unluckiest being in the universe.

The rest of the Doom Patrol is busy fighting the giant robot… and JUST the giant robot: why doesn’t the Brain just attack them as well?

Because, when Elasti-Girl shrinks down trying to get inside the giant robot’s circuits, he traps her with a clever device that will kill her no matter what she does.
Not that he needed to. As we’ve seen PLENTY of times she doesn’t have human-level strength when she shrinks, and Robotman is super-strong… he could’ve just squashed her.

Negative Man is also captured, because of course.

So naturally everything is now in the hands of the real Robotman, not easy since he currently doesn’t HAVE hands.
But for once in his life he DOES have a stroke of luck when a blind man just happens to pass nearby his prison and phones Chief.

The timing is all over the place. Because while the Doom Patrol was fighting the giant robot:
1) Robotman convinced the blind man
2) the blind man contacted “any radio or TV station”
3) the radio or TV station broadcasted the location of Robotman’s prison
4) Chief went to said location
I really didn’t get the impression that the fight lasted long enough to cover all this.

See Brain, I told you to just squash her. Instead you left Elasti-Girl get away and find the means to free Negative Man.

Now that he has killed the whole Doom Patrol (as far as he knows), Brain asks Chief to meet him alone…

…but Chief has brought company: Robotman’s brain, currently in the giant body of the monster.

In light of Morrison’s revelation that Chief has always been a psycho, I believe that Chief could’ve simply shut down remotely Robotman’s body but chose to do this for his sick amusement.
It’s incredible that after all these issues, Morrison’s retcon keeps making perfect sense.

Also this counts as Robotman’s body being damaged, even if technically it’s the real Robotman doing all the work.

Madame Rouge, at this point yes I would think Brain would endanger himself for no reason.

I still think it’s WILD that this series features:
A) a woman who wears red and has no elastic powers
B) a woman who wears blue and does have elastic powers
Ask ANYONE who has NEVER picked up a comic book (or seen a Pixar movie) and ask them which one is called Elasti-Girl and which one is called Madame Rouge, and I’m positive 100% of them will give you the wrong answer.

Thankfully Negative Man is back to being useful.

If the Brain is so smart that he can make a gorilla talk and do advanced brain surgery… why doesn’t he ever try to put his own brain in a gorilla’s body?
Sure it’s not as powerful as a super-strong robot body, but it’s better than a brain in a jar!

If you think Madame Rouge doesn’t have full elastic powers by now… she can stretch all the way to hitch a ride on a freaking jet!!!

Also, the Brain manages to get away with Robotman’s original body, but Chief apparently has a spare one ready.

Not sure whether Robotman swaps more bodies later, but just to be sure I’ll keep a count of how many robot bodies he goes through.

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Historical significance: 2/10
Not the last time the Brain will go after Robotman’s body.

 Silver Age-ness: 8/10
I think I’ve stressed enough that the only reason why the Brain doesn’t kill anyone the second he has the chance to is that he’s pretty dumb.

Does it stand the test of time? 4/10
Ugh. I hate whenever they do a plot about the Brain scheming to get a body… he works when he’s obsessed with being pure intellect, but this seriously lessens how threatening he is.
The body horror still works, but it could’ve been used to better effect. As is the artificial monster (which I don’t think ever comes back).
I’m also disappointed by the way the Doom Patrol falls for the Brain faking being Robotman. They’re normally smarter than this.

 Times Robotman has been damaged: 8

 Issues when Robotman is never damaged: 7

 Number of Robotman robot bodies: 2

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Interesting letters: I’ve never owned a cat, is this true? I have serious doubts.

Even if that were true, I feel like a watch is a bit more practical than looking into a cat’s eye.