Secret Hero Society #5

Secret Hero Society #5 (2019)
by Derek Fridolfs & Dave Bardin

This is a hardcover series of black&white graphic novels for a younger target audience than the regular DC comics, although not as young as Tiny Titans.
It focuses on Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne and Diana prince as young students… and SOMEHOW the Legion of Super-Heroes shows up!
This beast is 174 pages, so I’m going to skip A LOT to concentrate on the Legion.
Needless to say, this is going to be WEIRD.

The three kids aren’t TECHNICALLY Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman yet.

But Batman’s gonna Batman even if he’s not a man yet: when Diana mentions a mysterious new student named Imra Ardeen, he investigates.

Clark goes for a different approach, approaching the students and getting zero answers but a lot of cameos. And yes, all these people go to the same school; have I mentioned this is weird?

But eventually Imra takes the team into the future!

The fact that the Legion has a brochure for visitors to warn them to please avoid breaking history is both hilarious and accurate.

The current Legionnaires are presented in a cute yearbook.

Most of them are very clearly based on the Reboot design (Saturn Girl and Shrinking Violet in particular are CLEARLY a younger version of the Reboot), but it’s a mix of various eras considering Bouncing Boy and Triplicate Girl.

They brought the 21st century kids into the future because… eh, who cares, it’s an excuse to have the Legion, they’ll figure it out.
Interestingly they seem to be focusing only on Diana, making this possibly the ONLY version of the Legion that doesn’t care all that much about Superman.

Told you that Batman’s gonna Batman.

As if you needed more evidence this is based on the Reboot, the Flight Ring is made out of Valorium. Also, while the Reboot managed to used the Data-Pads as futuristic (even though they totally stole those from Star Trek: The Next Generation) because they started in the 90s… this is a 2019 book. It’s just a normal tablet!

So far my favorite part of the book are the casual warnings about time travel.

This is the only book of the series that I’ve read (for obvious reasons), but apparently Clark has already fought Brainiac even before becoming Superman.
And how weird is it that, thanks to the Smallville TV series, this isn’t even the most ridiculous time that sort of thing has happened???
Also: possibly the only Brainiac 5 who likes being called Brainy by non-Legionnaires.

He’s also visibly based on the Reboot design, specifically the so-called “Brainiac 5.1” design thanks to the forehead thingy that has become synonymous with Brainiac after the 90s Superman animated series. His personality, however, resembles the pre-Crisis version more.

We’re also told about this reality’s version of the Fatal Five, which has a truly bizarre addition: Persuader was once a member of the Legion.
Which makes me wonder: does this version of the Legion lack the “you must have actual superpowers” rule?
Then again, he’s explicitly super-strong and this is a Legion without Superboy, so maybe that was the power that qualified him.

Again: does this REALLY look all that futuristic in 2019?

Since this Legion is technically a school, let’s meet the actual teachers… including none other than Booster Gold.
Who, kind of predictably, holds a class on why he’s awesome.

So HE recognizes Superman, but the Legion doesn’t? Have I mentioned how weird this is?

The humor in this book is a bit hit-and-miss for my, but this honestly made me laugh.

Also hilarious: the school bulletin board!
Notice Karate Kid being namedropped with his civilian name, as well as the Legion fandom’s most adored joke character (who hasn’t showed up in the proper retrospective yet): Arms-Fall-Off Boy.

I would read an entire book just full of these things. The references are hilarious!

As mentioned, having a young Clark facing future Superman villains REALLY reminds me of Smallville… and as in that series, we’re still stuck with the idea that he can’t learn how to fly until he puts on a cape.

There’s another piece of Legion media that inspired this: the economics teacher is Alexia Luthor. While there’s probably other inspirations, it’s VERY likely that she’s from the 2003 Legion cartoon.

The LAST person in the universe I would ever expect to see teaching a class to kids is fraggin’ Lobo, but he SOMEHOW teaches “auto shop class”.

But enough goofing around. According to Saturn Girl, the Galactic Peace Summit is going to be ruined by someone from the 21st century (how the heck does SHE know? Or there’s a Dream Girl in the team?).
So Clark gets the idea to ask Computo. Who has the Silver Age design, but he’s called C.O.M.P.U.T.O. as in the reboot.

And yes, even the acronym’s meaning checks out.

This is a series for kids, which I guess means it’s contractually obligated to have the characters play a made-up sport.
But the Legion ALREADY has a made-up game in its lore, why aren’t they playing Magnoball?

Diana also gets a massive spoiler about her future!

Have I mentioned how weird it is that none of this is focusing on Superman?

Eventually, the Legion gets into a very disappointing fight against the Fatal Five.
There’s definitely more Legionnaires around than those who have been named, but I can only make out Ferro Lad facing off against Persuader.

 

You would think Alexia Luthor would be behind this mess…

…but she’s kind of innocent. Instead it’s Cheetah who stole the time machine technology.

And this basically concludes the Legion portion of the book…

…but not before the 21st century kids are made honorary members.

The rest of the book has the kids follow Cheetah into Diana’s past back in Paradise Island…

…and then other time periods, including one where they finally put on some costumes.
Diana specifically gets to dress up as Wonder Girl because it would be creepy to have her in a classic Wonder Woman costume.

It’s cute stuff but waaaaaay beyond the scope of the retrospective.

Saturn Girl is still technically involved in the main plot though, because she’s the one bringing the kids to different eras.

When Cheetah is eventually defeated, the whole thing is erased from history so she doesn’t even need to wipe anyone’s mind.

 

The whole thing is in black & white, but the back cover does have a neat Saturn Girl illustration. She’s the only Legionnaire to get some color.

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Does any of this show up in any regular continuity?
Since I have yet to read more recent Legion stories I can’t say for sure… but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t happen.

SHOULD any of this have happened in regular continuity?
Having one member of the Fatal Five being a former Legion member is not a bad idea, even if it’s more of a Legion Of Super-Villains thing. Persuader is a TERRIBLE choice though, I would’ve gone with Mano.

Silver Age-ness: 7/10
It’s kind of amazing the Silver Age version wasn’t just a super-school, considering some of the Superboy stories of the time.

Does it stand the test of time? 10/10
It’s just five years old, so of course it has an easy time clearing this category.
In terms of quality, it’s not bad! A bit meandering here and there, and naturally not a lot of complexity since it’s going for a younger audience, but you could certainly do worse to introduce a kid to superhero comics.
Sure, the plot has some contrivances and characterization is minimal if you’re not Diana, but I don’t think it would be fair to judge this kind of story with the same criteria of a regular one.
It’s also not a bad introduction to the Legion! I can absolutely see a kid reading this and wanting to know more about their world.
Not a whole lot for older fans, but as mentioned some of the little vignettes are genuinely funny.

We are legion
Active Legionnaires: 14
-Lightning Lad
-Saturn Girl
-Cosmic Boy
-Phantom Girl
-Bouncing Boy
-Timber Wolf
-Chameleon Boy
-Invisible Kid
-Colossal Boy
-Star Boy
-Triplicate Girl
-Shrinking Violet
-Brainiac 5
-Ferro Lad (presumably)

Reserve members:1
-Karate Kid (presumably)

Honorary members: 3
-Clark Kent
-Diana Prince
-Bruce Wayne

Legion Rejects: 1
-Arms-Fall-Off Boy (presumably)
-Presumably more, since the Substitutes Heroes are mentioned, but we don’t have names

Expelled members: 1
-Persuader

20 people have been members