Let’s just get this over with.
Wanderers #7 (1988)
by Doug Moench & Dave Hoover
Now that the Legion connection is mostly gone, is there anything interesting left in the series?
Well they do receive an official liaison with the United Planets, so they might be up to something.
Their contact is named Contact.
I’m sure Moench took a lot of time to come up with it.
The Wanderers are hired by the United Planets to save a scientist that has been arrested by the highly religious society for conducting research into immortality.
Hey that’s a neat concept: the Wanderers as basically undercover agents of the United Planets.
By the time the Wanderers get to the planet, the scientist has renounced his research…
…and after Re-Animage resuscitates him following his death, the scientist has an existential crisis.
Eventually the scientist destroys the research and is killed, without being resurrected.
I give this series a hard time, but this wouldn’t feel out of place in a classic sci-fi story.
Other than the fact that the Wanderers are by far the least interesting thing here, this is the only issue I recommend checking out.
One thing that I forgot to mention last time is that in addition to shooting lasers, light and energy blasts, flying and creating copies of herself, Quantum Queen can ALSO create an intangible copy of herself that can act independently from her.
I remind you that one of her teammates has the power to grow quills and another has the power to own a sword.
Wanderers #8 (1989)
by Doug Moench & Dave Hoover
Because nobody demanded it: the origin of Psyche.
She used to live on a remote mountain with her parents before she left the planet to join the Wanderers.
And she was born with psychic powers because her parents had powers as well.
Her family wasn’t persecuted or anything, because that would have made her origin interesting.
Her parents don’t even recognize her, because she looks completely different after her resurrection.
Wait, she said her parents also have psychic abilities… less than her, sure, but shouldn’t it help figure out that this IS their daughter?
When Psyche inadvertently starts using her powers to make her love her, they call the cops on her.
Not only she has to escape, but now her parents are also in trouble with the law.
So on this planet psychics are not persecuted, even when the government has a freaking Sentinel Program to hunt down psychics?
Sounds legit.
Wanderers #9 (1988)
by Doug Moench & Dave Hoover
cover by Steve Lighle
Now THAT is a fantastic cover!
Seriously, Quantum Queen, you should really let your teammates borrow SOME of your powers!
Especially when Psyche has to fight the robots by throwing animals at them.
What did you expect???
Psyche’s parents eventually realize she IS their daughter, just in time to be killed by the robots.
This is so tragic. If only Psyche had a teammate with the power to resuscitate recently deceased people.
Seriously, Re-Animage is RIGHT THERE. What the heck???
Wanderers #10 (1989)
by Doug Moench & Dave Hoover
cover by Steve Lighle
Can we really call this the Quantum Queen issue when she’s the only one who has done anything this entire time?
As the member of a superhero team answering to the United Planets and as a woman with the power to shoot lasers/light/energy that can even destroy small planets, to create miniature or intangible copies of herself, to fly and to walk on a frozen mountain wearing lingerie… Quantum Queen is recruited as a model by a sleazy entrepreneur.
SHOCKINLY, she’s not interested!
Except once Psyche decides to take some time to process the death of her parents, Quantum Queen immediately changes her mind for no reason.
Also she can also do the sci-fi equivalent of Atom’s trick of traveling via phones.
To reiterate: this woman has almost as many powers as Martian Manhunter and she’s basically hired to be smelled.
Someone has been spending way too much thought on what superheroines smell like.
I’m not judging Quantum Queen for agreeing… okay I’m judging her a little bit… but she’s essentially agreeing to have men throughout the Galaxy smell her.
Well maybe this whole thing isn’t as sleazy as it sounded, considering that during the commercial Quantum Queen is showing less skin than when she’s in her regular costume.
Which, granted, isn’t saying much.
It is kind of hilarious to see Aviax call out Quantum Queen for how she dresses…
…because if you forgot (and no wonder, he hasn’t done anything so far) Aviax dresses LIKE THIS.
We learn that the continuous extractions of her hormones (???) are causing Quantum Queen to slowly lose her powers. Which is on purpose.
Wanderers #11 (1989)
by Doug Moench & Dave Hoover
cover by Steve Lighle
The conclusion of the Superhuman Perfume saga.
At this point Quantum Queen has lost pretty much all her powers and she’s on the run from the entrepreneur.
But she’s eventually rescued by the guy creating the perfume.
Surely we can trust this guy, right?
NOPE!
Not only she has recovered, she can now phase through matter.
STOP GIVING HER NEW POWERS!!!
The guy creating the perfume apparently also fell in love with her (???) and is killed off.
I remind you that one of the members of this team CAN RESURRECT THE RECENTLY DEAD and yet we keep having guest characters die.
So she blows up the entire palace where the perfume is being produced.
Wanderers #12 (1989)
by Doug Moench & Dave Hoover
cover by Steve Lighle
Oh, sorry guys, I didn’t realize you were having a moment.
The United Planets ask the Wanderers to investigate a planet where dinosaurs are going extinct.
We’ve already seen several planets where there ARE dinosaurs, but apparently they’re rare in the Galaxy.
This planet has two anomalies: a “space fog” that might be causing the extinction, and the fact that in THIS particular case the birds won’t get a chance to evolve.
Yep. We have an issue where the plot is “save the birds”.
If you have to go to such lengths to justify the fact that your team has a guy who can just turn into birds… maybe don’t have in your team a guy who can just turn into birds?
Except that’s just a cover story to send the Wanderers to that planet… but it’s simultaneously true?
WHAT?
Also, the United Planets liaison is named “Ahrane”? The first issue said she was called “Contact”!
So she didn’t mean it literally? Or is this a different woman from the same species?
I’ve never seen a comic get this confused about its own plot.
As for what is killing the dinosaurs…
So, uhm, if I understand this correctly… humanoids evolved because on all planets there’s a background radiation that kills dinosaurs?
Aviax “reasons” that the proto-birds of this planet are not immune to the radiation because certain genetic traits never developed…
And now, ladies and gentlemen, is when this comic turns absolutely bonkers.
Yes.
NOW.
Because you would think he wants to introduce those radiation-resistant genes by means of genetic engineering, right?
Nope!
HIS PLAN IS TO HAVE SEX WITH DINOSAURS.
I’m not trying to be funny! THIS IS THE PLOT!!!
People were paid to write, pencil, ink, letter, color, edit, print and distribute this comic book.
With money.
I thought I had already seen the weirdest things published in a superhero comic book.
But I have to stress that this is a story where THE HERO NEEDS TO HAVE SEX WITH DINOSAURS.
He even has to fight for it!!!
Wait wasn’t the fact that the Wanderers can’t have children without them turning into monsters THE PREMISE OF THE FIRST ARC???
Should I censor this?
Better be safe.
THIS IS AN ACTUAL COMIC BOOK.
As if that wasn’t already THE WEIRDEST PLOT EVER, we also have an ominous message from Quantum Queen’s intangible duplicate.
Can you believe the book is cancelled the issue after the one with human-dinosaur sex?
Wanderers #13 (1989)
by Doug Moench & Dave Hoover
cover by Steve Lighle
If the cover is anything to go by, this is going just as weird as the rest of the run.
I know this isn’t new information, but I want to make it absolutely clear that I’m not making any of this up. THIS IS THE ACTUAL PLOT OF THE COMIC.
Once he’s done having sex with a dinosaur… a sentence that I never thought I would EVER need to type… Aviax is almost eaten by another one.
Oh and Elvar was kidnapped by some mysterious aliens for some reason.
That actually happened last issue, but I was kind of distracted.
You know what, I’ve already typed the weirdest thing I’ve ever needed to, so if the next plot is going to be “Quantum Queen’s energy ghost impregnated Re-Animage” it won’t be that weird.
I mean just how weird can the plot be to distract you people from the fact that ONE OF YOUR TEAMMATES JUST HAD SEX WITH A DINOSAUR???
God please tell the entire team didn’t sleep with animals.
I have absolutely no idea of what’s going on anymore, which I am convinced is a blessing.
We’re sorry, Comics Archeology is currently busy screaming into a pillow. We’ll come back when the comic starts to make sense again.
Nope. Still not making any sense.
Is having sex with anything that moves your only thing you guys can think of???
I swear that I’m not doing a bit. NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE.
We then jump to an attempt to resurrect Celebrand, the only original Wanderer that didn’t come back?
WHY????
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN ANYTHING???
If I had to guess, MAYBE the idea is that the aliens are the ancestors of the Wanderers and that’s why they develop powers?
Also: you can’t blame me for continuously bringing up the fact that ONE OF THE CAST MEMBERS HAD SEX WITH A DINOSAUR when the comic keeps doing the same!!!
And this is a philosophical treaty now!!!
HOW IS THIS STILL GOING ON???
You guys live in a futuristic utopia with casual interstellar travel and where actual magic exists!
WHAT IS THIS DISCUSSION DOING HERE???
Then the team decides to do absolutely nothing for nine months, the time it will take for the Celebrand clone to be ready.
Yep. The Wanderers just… stop working for the United Planets.
Also: her name is Contact again? So it’s just a codename she uses with the Wanderers? WHY???
Once again: the comic itself seems to have no idea of what’s going on.
We mercifully end the series with the Wanderers leaving for ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
And of course we must revisit the offspring of a man and a dinosaur…
…with the aliens returning just to kill the mother. Hey, no I said no dino-shaming!!!
It should be noted that this entire thing explicitly gave birth to ONLY TWO dino-birds that are immune to the dino-killing radiation. And those two birds ALONE are going to eventually populate the planet with birds.
Sounds legit.
Legion significance: 0/10
Silver Age-ness
Issues 7-11: 3/10
Issue 12-13: 5∞/10
Does it stand the test of time?
#7: 8/10
A shockingly competent sci-fi story.
#8-9: 2/10
What if Raven from Teen Titans was an uninteresting character with terrible writing? She’d be Psyche.
#10-11: 7/10
Fun with the setting, even if the story is more than a little stupid.
#12: 0/10
Only recommended if you are into dinosaur erotica. No judging.
#13: WTF/10
The only other comic book that I’ve ever read that completely abandons the story to waste several pages with pseudo-intellectual, pseudo-spiritual and pseudo-deep nonsense is freaking MARVILLE.
And you do not want me to talk about Marville. TRUST ME.
Thanks to reader Bryant Alexander for pointing out that this insanity is referenced in 2017’s “Shade, the Changing Girl #2”.
Which has a baffling backup feature where Orintho teams up with Beast Boy; not the one from Teen Titans, the Heroes of Lallor one from Adventure Comics #324.
It’s not a bad idea to team them up, since they’re both animal shapeshifters.
The story ends with a cheeky reference to this series. There’s no footnote for it; Orintho is already a very obscure character, so the reference is even more obscure!
Wait a minute… this is Orintho in his original body, not his Aviax look from the series, and Beast Boy dies in Adventure Comics #339.
Which means this story must be set BEFORE the Wanderers series!
Did… did Orintho repopulate a planet by having sex with animals TWICE???
“Wait, what?” would’ve been a more appropriate title for this series than “Wanderers”.
If Aviax can apparently turn into any flying creature, can’t he turn into Mr. Mxyzptlk and repopulate the fifth dimension- I mean use those powers to make the team even more unbalanced?
I don’t quite get what’s so confusing about the Wanderer’s “Contact” character. She states up front that she’s lying about her name being “Contact” but that’s what the Wanderers need to call her. The Wanderers call her that, but her boss calls her by her real name.
As for the rest of the review…spot on. So much weirdness, and the ending is (probably) the least coherent thing I’d read until the end of Final Crisis.
It’s a crime against art that some of Steve Lightle’s best ever covers have to be forever associated with dinosaur sex.
Also why do the girls and the flying head actually seem excited when they realize Aviax is gonna have to bang a dino
Thirtieth century voyeurism?
Yeah, Doug Moench is one of THOSE writers… when he’s good, he’s sublime. (Some of his MASTER OF KUNG FU issues were almost poetry.) But when he’s bad, he’s awful.
Just so you know, you missed a Legion appearance in DC Comics Presents #2. It isn’t much, but considering how thorough you are, I feel like you should know. Though warning: this and the previous issue are absolutely NUTS.
Ah yes, The Wanderers… I found this site when I was reading the Karate Kid series and I was wondering if it was THAT bad or if it was just me… So last year I think in my Legion read-through I read The Wanderers and I thought It was soooo dull and boring with lame and boring characters but I remember hoping that you would cover it…. I forgot why but now I remember… I wanted to read your reaction to the INSANE dinosaur sex plot… It didn’t dissapoint.
Now I can’t wait till you cover the 5 years later era… It’s been a chore to go through it… I’m up to the issue when…. let’s say when Earth 2 was formed…. I’m getting closer to Zero Hour thankfully..
So many half-baked ideas in this run. The concept of Psyche’s parents living on a world people where psychic powers are monitored but not persecuted sounds like it could have been a story seed for the Psi Corps in Babylon 5.
The scientist’s world in #7 contains some wonderful manglings of language: “retraction” (going to heaven), “ultimate proof” (death) . . . eerily reminiscent of the political correctness then in vogue.
Dinosaur sex . . . I dunno, perhaps intended to be controversial but just silly.
Moench seemed to be trying to work in hard science fiction concepts that might be better developed in novels. Perhaps he was hamstrung by the superhero conventions. It’s a shame he didn’t spend more time developing the personalities and powers of the Wanderers themselves.
I was under the impression it was done to make the planet feel more alien; it fits the tone of an old-school sci-fi story, and I don’t think he does it anywhere else in the series.
I don’t think it’s done particularly well, sure, but there seems to be a reason behind it.
Or Moench has a very particular fetish.
It could also be that he’s not very good at science fiction in general? It’s not his most famous kind of work; I know he HAS written sci-fi comic book series, but I’ve never read them.
“The scientist’s world in #7 contains some wonderful manglings of language: “retraction” (going to heaven), “ultimate proof” (death) . . . eerily reminiscent of the political correctness then in vogue.
“I was under the impression it was done to make the planet feel more alien; it fits the tone of an old-school sci-fi story, and I don’t think he does it anywhere else in the series.
I don’t think it’s done particularly well, sure, but there seems to be a reason behind it.”
Could be a bit of both. This was the era in which Ronald Reagan famously said–in reference to his administration’s sale of arms to Iran and sending the proceeds to the Contras in Nicaraugua– “Mistakes were made.” This sounds like an apology without taking responsibility. It called attention to the misuse of language by politicians and officials to make something sound not as bad as it was.
For that matter, religion and death are full of euphemisms. Instead of saying “died” or even “passed away,” obituaries often say “passed” (as if the deceased has passed gas or aced an exam) or “gone to be with the Lord” (as if the person is out to town visiting someone). “Retraction” sounds editorial, as if someone is taking something back that wasn’t intended to appear in print (or in the world?), which maybe gives us a glimpse into how their world viewed life and death. Perhaps “recycling” would be better.
As if the Shade, the Changing Girl backup story wasn’t baffling enough, Bird Boy was originally named Ornitho, and this story has him go by Orintho. Possibly just a typo, or maybe they were messing with the heads of the few of us who actually remembered these characters. Personally, I think Bird Boy would be a better name than Ornitho, Aviax, or Orintho. At the very least, Bird Boy is no worse.
The perfect ending to the Wanderers series would have been having them accidentally wander into Kamandi’s reality.
What has Kamandi ever done to deserve such horror? Keep these freaks well clear of Kirby’s best (and longest) work at DC.
This version of the Wanderers is far too bland for them to be called anything as interesting as “freaks”.
I only reference Kamandi because that’s how Karate Kid’s series ended, with Val crossing into Kamandi’s book…which just like Karate Kid’s book, was then cancelled. Bizarrely, both books had an issue of Brave and Bold as an epilogue.
Legion spin-off books have not fared well so far.