Secret Origins vol2 #37

Secret Origins v2 #37 (1989)
by Ty Templeton

Despite the cover, Doctor Light doesn’t fight the Substitute Heroes: he’s in a different story.

This is actually the extended origin of the Subs, acting as an expansion of Adventure Comics 306.

In a surprising move the point-of-view character is Chlorophyll Kid. That’s a good decision to focus on someone who isn’t Polar Boy or Night Girl for once.
Judging from his planet, CK wasn’t exactly destined for greatness.

He also doesn’t come from a very supportive family.

This is doing an excellent job at showing that while the Subs are (mostly) just joke characters, they’re still people.

But they’re still dumb characters. Case in point, the future CK decides to sleep into some chemicals thinking these are hot tubs!
To be fair it’s not his fault he doesn’t realize it: all the signs are in English instead of Interlac.

Oh so THAT’s why Chlorophyll Kid’s costume always covers his hair!
Least necessary continuity insert for something nobody ever asked for (at least until John Byrne reveals Sandman is related to Norman Osborn because their hair look similar).

Contrast with the origin given by Chlorophyll Kid himself in the original. It’s not contradicting anything, though, because why would CK admit doing something THAT dumb?

Also note that in the original version A) he looks way younger when the accident happens B) his mom is definitely hotter.

So Chlorophyll Kid decides to apply to the Legion of Super-Heroes.
As tempted as I am to add 41 people to the rejected list, even I am not that insane.

But I am adding Estimate Boy! Please notice that not only he’s an absolute fraud by saying he’s estimating there are 41 applicants, when he’s just reading the sign…

…he’s also wrong because it’s 42 now.

That’s when he runs into Polar Boy, right after his rejection.

I’m giving a hard time to Polar Boy during Volume 3 thanks to his disastrous leadership, but that still doesn’t excuse the Legion for rejecting him the first time for very stupid reasons.

Stone Boy is here too…

…with the only other reject that I’m adding to the list, “Anteater Lad”.
As much as I’d like to add the various aliens in the background we don’t see any of them participate in the audition.

Like I said, I feel bad for Polar Boy’s rejection. But Chlorophyll Kid…

…yeah. Not saying this doesn’t have SOME useful applications, but come on.

We also get some information about who is definitely THE least used member of the Subs: Fire Lad. Everyone else in the Subs has his fans (myself included), but has ANYONE ever cared about Fire Lad?

We also learn that Night Girl has a different codename in mind when she applied: Strength Girl.
Since most stories tell us she didn’t know about her weakness until she came to Earth, it makes sense that she’d have a different name in mind… but why would a heroine named “Strength Girl” have an owl as her symbol?

See, THIS is the aspect of Polar Boy that was missing from his leadership term: his ability to inspire others. Look at how good he is at convincing even Stone Boy he has a useful power! (he doesn’t)
There is an angle to make this work, though: the Legionnaires are his idols, so instead of motivating them he spent time trying to motivate HIMSELF. And if we had seen ANY of that in Volume 3, I wouldn’t be so hard on him

Eventually they decide to become the Legion of Substitute Heroes. The paneling makes it a bit unclear whether the name is from Polar Boy or Night Girl.

This continuity insert works surprisingly well with the original.
In that we see Polar Boy meet with Night Girl after the rejection, then when he assembles the team he asks for their origins and demonstrations… Secret Origins just adds that he met Chlorophyll Kid before her and that they hang out for a while before this meeting.

Time for the Substitute Heroes to be… completely useless.

Which DOES track with the original, by the way.

Just be grateful this isn’t Reboot Brainiac 5, kid, or you cat would have exploded by now.

You know what Chlorophyll Kid, I never thought about it this way but… that WAS a weird place for your headquarters.

Just like in the original, the Subs try their hardest to provide SOME assistance.

Although in THIS version, the Legion has less patience.

Polar Boy might be the heart of the Subs, but Chlorophyll Kid is the other true believer.
Makes me wonder how hard it must’ve been for him when Polar Boy eventually disbands the Subs.

Everyone calling it quits was NOT in the original, by the way.

Until the team stumbles into the same plot twist of the original: the alien attack is just a decoy to unleash plant people.

Regretfully this story doesn’t solve the REAL mystery of the original… why are the alien plant people using a regular truck?

Even STONE BOY is being useful!!! Although the original makes it look more heroic.

“And then Chlorophyll Kid saves the day” is not something I get to say often.

The original story ends with the Subs realizing that the world never learns that they saved the Legion.

This story LOOKS like it’s going to end the same way, and it kind of does…

…but with a new catch: the Legio had a MUCH harder time because they had to fight the entire army of tree people, which wouldn’t have been so numerous without the Subs.
Which is such a Subs thing to do… screw up even when they save the day!

Although the fact that the last speech balloon has so much white space makes me wonder if this isn’t a re-write and Sun Boy was supposed to say something else entirely.

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Legion significance: 0/10
In typical Subs fashion.

Silver Age-ness: 8/10
I gave the original a 6/10, which in retrospect was a little low. Today I would probably score it a 8/10, shared with this one.

Does it stand the test of time? 10/10
Now THIS is how you do a Silver Age throwback!!! Poking fun at the silliness but paying respect, improving some parts while keeping what worked.
It’s also how you do a Subs story: making fun of how ridiculous and dumb they are but without being mean-spirited (take note, Keith Giffen) and throwing in some character development without turning them into serious and effective heroes (take note, Geoff Johns).

Legion rejects: 52
Adding Estimate Boy and “Anteater Lad”.