Legion of Super-Heroes v3 #62 (1989)
by Paul Levitz & Keith Giffen
cover by Steve Lighle
Only two issue of the Magic Wars remaining, and this one might be the bleakest. Which is saying something!
We begin on “Weber’s World”, the artificial moon orbiting Earth where the United Planets keeps its bureaucracy. Despite the fact that in the previous issues the Legion (well, mostly Sensor Girl) was able to restore Earth’s technology, it’s indicative that they’ve decided to evacuate the whole place.
It means that the damages were even more widespread than we thought.
Hey at least the Legion is doing SOMETHING, by helping with the evacuation. That’s a lot more than what they’ve been doing lately!
But things are depressing. When I wished Sun Boy would stop thinking exclusively about girls, this is NOT what I had in mind!
Ambassador Relnic (remember him from Earthwar?) makes one last appearance.
One of the reasons why I dislike this storyline is that it goes WAY overboard with how everyone sees this as the end of times.
For all the talk about “science is failing”… all the general population saw was that technology was failing. Yeah that’s bad, but these people have survived Darkseid incinerating the surface of a whole planet and creating an army of billions of Superman!
They’re in a universe with Sun-Eaters AND where “I’m the last survivor of my entire planet” is not all that uncommon! And you’re telling me they consider technological failures… which at this point have been going on for a couple of days AT MOST… is the Apocalypse for them???
Moving away from Earth, Lallor is going through a similar catastrophe: Duplicate Boy has duplicated Bouncing Boy’s awful moustaches.
Oh and there’s a giant snake attacking. That’s bad too, I guess.
Well thanks for clarifying that Duplicate Boy can’t duplicate White Witch’s magic, that sure was something we had to explore since HE’S NEVER DUPLICATED HER POWERS BEFORE.
I’m fine with spending more time with the Heroes of Lallor, but not waste two entire pages on this problem nobody was thinking about and that won’t go anywhere!
Meanwhile the Legion has decided to go to Sorcerers’ World, based on Sensor Girl’s hunch that the problem has originated here.
If “science has failed”, how the heck did you come to this planet ON A SPACESHIP?
Perhaps it’s because it launched from Earth and still works because of Sensor Girl’s counterspell… but if that’s the case, what is stopping them from repeating the same counterspell on every planet?
Yes it’s going to take a long time, but are there no other people attuned to magic in the entire galaxy? Especially NOW that magic is apparently stronger than ever?
The premise of this storyline is completely botched! It’s like it’s working in reverse: the galaxy is doomed because the plot says so, and we’re working backwards to find excuses for it!
Getting to Sorcerers’ World is tricky since it’s been trapped in a disgusting spider web.
Wildfire is currently regretting not staying in Quislet’s dimension.
If “science is failing”, why is the hydrogen being sucked into space? Or is the Second Law of Thermodynamics not considered science for some arbitrary reason?
How the hell does a “what is reality” speech has to do with an attack by giant spiders???
Why are you talking about “evidence of our senses” of things that you were able to touch???
You don’t get to talk about metaphysics in a universe where “magic” HAS AN ACTUAL PHYSICAL PRESENCE!!! It’s not a matter of debate whether these things exist!!!
AAAARRRGHH!!!!
Let’s move to Colu before this stupid plot gives me an aneurysm. Surely THEY haven’t sunk to idiotic philosophical debates!
AAAARRRGHH!!!!
See what you have done, comic? You have broken Brainiac 5.
Happy with yourself?
Also, combustion is not science because they’re able to light a fire.
The Coluans are supposed to be the smartest race in the universe. If they went with the idea they were too proud to return to more primitive ways, I would’ve bought it.
But no, the Coluans are TOO STUPID to survive without technology!
In the middle of this crap, there is ONE moment that I really liked: a Coluan woman thinking she’s starving and Brainiac 5 pointing out real starvation is much worse.
This is an incredible little moment that manages to say SO much with just two panels!
Such a little gem deserved to be in a WAY better comic.
Also, Coluans are too stupid to figure out how to cook without Brainiac 5.
WHY DO THE FLIGHT RINGS KEEP WORKING???
I swear there’s absolutely no logic whatsoever in what works and what doesn’t!
You might argue that it could fit the narrative… magic being unpredictable by nature… but if that’s the case ADDRESS IT IN THE COMIC!!!
Back to Sorcerers’ World, Dawnstar gives us a good summary of what it’s like going into this storyline after a pretty good run.
Also a good summary of Wildfire’s relationship with Dawnstar.
Could they have chosen a worse sound effect?
They both get out of this, thanks in part to the weapons of the Legion Cruiser (which I guess are not based on science).
Also, again: combustion is not science according to this comic.
After the goo has been destroyed, the big reveal that necessitates a splash page is that Sorcerers’ World has been encased in… something.
Why is this so shocking? Isn’t Sorcerers’ World supposed to look completely different from moment to moment?
Back to Earth… God, even Gym’ll is insufferable in this.
Speaking of people who are now insufferable: Bouncing Boy.
ALL THEY HAVE EXPERIENCED are natural disasters and technological failures! WHY IS EVERYONE THINKING THIS IS THE END TIMES????
Back to Sorcerers’ World, the Legion can’t get through the barrier (even Phantom Girl can’t phase through). Sensor Girl points out that, since this is magically sealed, brute force won’t do anything.
And then she orders them to use brute force anyway!
IS EVERYONE IN THIS COMIC AN IDIOT???
Yes. Yes they are.
EVEN WILDFIRE SHOULD HAVE MORE SENSE THAN THIS!!!
Girl… you’re not the worst Legion leader only because Polar Boy had more time to screw things up.
They WERE accepting what they were seeing: A GIANT METAL PRISON WITH A LOCK. They couldn’t “accept” the secret behind it EXACTLY BECAUSE THEY COULDN’T SEE IT!!!
AAAARRRGHH!!!!
Sensor Girl was able to see a message that is supposed to sound terrifying.
Which sounds like nonsense to me, but apparently it means that someone has to die to unlock access to Sorcerers’ World.
Considering the origin of the threat, it would be an easy guess to think Mordru is behind this.
But if you’ve been paying attention, Mordru has been turned into a joke a long time ago.
Element Lad volunteers for the suicide mission, but Magnetic Kid decides to pull a Ferro Lad.
(too soon?)
Good thing the Flight Ring is apparently not based on science.
This would be touching and well executed if A) Magnetic Kid played any role whatsoever in this storyline B) if he had done anything worth remembering throughout his membership.
I feel bad for Magnetic Kid, though. He wasn’t given anything to do while he was in the team, and his death is basically meaningless since things WILL turn to s##t anyway.
Also good job traumatizing your own brother with your last words!!!
And so we end with a last splash page, unleashing the final boss of Volume 3 into the galaxy: the Archmage.
This was EXHAUSTING.
How does anyone reading this on a physical copy resist the urge to throw it against the nearest wall???
Legion significance: 10/10
Silver Age-ness: -0/10
Have I ever given a negative score in this category before? I might have to do it consistently throughout Volume 4.
Of course “minus zero” makes no sense, but if science doesn’t work why should math?
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
Those two panels on Colu and those with Magnetic Kid’s sacrifice would increase the score on a better comic. But everything else is so bad it doesn’t help.
What a giant pile of spoooch.
The Grid: 24 pages out of 27
no pages without a perfect grid (!!!)
3 splash pages
We are legion
With the death of Magnetic Kid, we have the final change in the roster for Volume 3.
17 active Legionnaires
7 reserve members
7 resigned members
14 deceased members
45 people have been members
52 people have been rejected
I really hate Sensor Girl’s department store mannequin look.
The plot is amateurish. It reminds me of when a friend and I decided to create our own comics in our teens. We threw in everything we could think 0f. The iconic leader type? Check. The loudmouth? Check. The religious zealot? Check. Two women–a virgin and a bitch? Check. A strongman with a fake arm? Check. A werewolf? Check. We didn’t understand why we had to have all these things. We just thought we had to because comics. It was fun to figure out what worked as we went along, but we had our own characters to play with.
I think you’re right that Giffen worked backwards so the plot would happen the way it did. He doesn’t seem to have put a lot of thought into the mechanics of the story or to critically examine the dystopian vision he was so fond of.