Doom Patrol #113 (1967)
by Arnold Drake & Bruno Premiani
The Beast Boy backup feature continues.
After yet another recap of the origin story (but a brief one at least), we meet a couple of treasure hunters looking for diamonds in Africa.
All while Beast Boy is having his jungle adventures.
Of course Beast Boy happens to be near the thieves, and follows them into an admittedly cool cave.
It’s dangerous work, but considering it’s the silver Age Beast boy only gets the ubiquitous “Just A Flesh Wound”™.
The entire cave then collapses…
…and Beast Boy is now in the hands of people who want to exploit his powers.
Not to be confused with the guy who wants to exploit his inheritance.
Doom Patrol #114 (1967)
by Arnold Drake & Bruno Premiani
The criminals have taken Beast Boy to Johannesburg, where they plan to have him steal diamonds.
Unfortunately growing up in the jungle without adult supervision has made Beast Boy talk like a Silver Age toddler.
If you think about it, Beast Boy has had a really messed up childhood. First his parents died in front of him, then he had to live on his own on the jungle, now he’s manhandled by two strange men, and we know he’ll eventually be tormented by his legal guardian!
This is the first time where Beast Boy transforms into animals that are COMPLETELY green, although he still keeps parts of his head.
This entire thing works because Beast Boy convinced himself he’s taking Easter eggs instead of stealing diamonds.
Too bad the criminals are so incompetent that they’re immediately found by the police.
Luckily for them, Beast Boy hid the diamonds by turning into a kangaroo and hiding them in his pouch.
Wait, only female kangaroos have those… does that mean he can choose whether he changes into a male or female animal?
You know, I’m starting to believe young Beast Boy is not naïve at all.
Maybe he’s just stupid.
Also surprisingly wrong, because assuming these are standard bullions they should weight about 27 pounds (12 kilos) each and he’s carrying six. With a wheelbarrow, but still, he’s moving around 162 pounds (72 kilos) and he’s what, five years old now?
Beast Boy pulls a prank hiding the “glass eggs”…
…which results in the two criminals KILLING EACH OTHER IN FRONT OF HIM.
And so we close exactly where we started.
Historical significance: 1/10
Beast Boy seems to have completely forgotten the time he got two criminals killed. Or he repressed the memory. But it IS the first time he changes into green animals!
Silver Age-ness: 4/10
I’m positive no actual child has ever talked like that in real life.
Does it stand the test of time? 0/10
Your enjoyment of these stories revolves almost entirely on whether you tolerate “Silver Age baby talk”. I can’t stand it. They’re also rather pointless, and even Premiani’s artwork can’t save this one.
Next issue will have the last Beast Boy backup feature, leading me to believe Arnold Drake really had no idea where to go with these.
“One shot – right in the head!”
“It’s just a flesh wound.”
HOW can both those statements be true? Easy. Gar was shot in the fleshy part of the brain. Come to think of it, brain damage would explain a good deal of this story.