As the series is approaching its ending with issue 121, let’s see if they can still manage to recover the quality of the Doom Patrol’s beginnings.
Only issue 115 has a backup feature, which will be reviewed separately.
Doom Patrol #115 (1967)
by Arnold Drake & Bruno Premiani
If you already have the (completely undeserved) ripping off the X-Men, having the main threat of an issue being “the Mutant Master” is not a great idea.
And the Mutant Masters are these, uhm… well even the narrator can’t go beyond calling them “things”.
Chief is continuing the attempt to cure Madame Rouge’s mind…
…by FIRING A GIANT ENERGY WEAPON at her brain!!!
How crazy does your plan have to be in order to be considered insane by the brain-in-a-jar who made a talking gorilla???
Even more amazing is the fact that Madame Rouge’s brain is being bombarded by opposing energy beams… and all she gets is a headache.
Meanwhile the Mutant Masters are attacking the city, something that the Doom Patrol learns from our old friend, the Plot Convenient News Channel.
It’s been quite a while since the fact that the Doom Patrol is made of rejects from society has been important that Robotman and Negative Man have to be reminded to be tolerant by Elasti-Girl.
Who ironically is the only one who looks completely normal.
When the Doom Patrol fights the Mutant Masters, Robotman immediately loses a hand.
And despite Elasti-Girl’s plea, the Mutant Masters are only interested in destroying stuff.
This is not the first time the term “mental telepathy” comes up, but it always makes me laugh.
As opposed to what, “verbal telepathy”???
OH COME ON, they’re literally mutants? Now you’re just asking to be compared to the X-Men!!!
The mutants have rather random powers. They’re all telepaths, they can all disintegrate stuff, and apparently they can also pull comets out of the sky!!!
These guys are ridiculously overpowered if you think about it.
Halley’s comet wouldn’t get near Earth until 1986. By my research, in 1967 it should have been roughly 5.3 billion kilometers (3.3 billion miles) from Earth.
To close that distance in only 7 hours, it means the mutants are currently pulling it towards Earth at 757 million kilometers per hour (470 million miles per hour), or 70% OF THE SPEED OF LIGHT.
Also you might interested to know that Halley’s comet has a mass of 220 BILLION METRIC TONS.
(for the record: yes that’s fake)
Chief has a plan to deal with them: stall the mutants until Madame Rouge can help.
Because OBVIOUSLY the person most equipped to deal with giant monsters with disintegrator rays who can pull comets the size of a mountain from the other side of the Solar System is a shapeshifter with a ridiculous accent.
I mean it’s just common sense.
But we now move to the most consequential part of the story: Madame Rouge RIPPING HERSELF INTO TWO SEPARATE BODIES.
This is crazy enough to warrant an awesome Premiani splash page!!!
Guys, I know I was seriously hyping Halley’s Comet, but it doesn’t have enough gravitational pull to do THIS!!!
In fact, while it’s not exactly the same thing, just consider that the gravity on Halley’s Comet is about 24,500 times weaker than gravity on Earth.
Negative Man brings the rest of the Doom Patrol to the fight, with a surprisingly rare acknowledgment that fighting on snowy mountains isn’t great for wearing a skirt.
But we all know the most interesting fight is the other one.
And we end with the cliffhanger of the Mutant Masters taking Elasti-Girl hostage. Do they want some company waiting for the end of the world?
Doom Patrol #116 (1967)
by Arnold Drake & Bruno Premiani
cover by Bob Brown
With THAT cliffhanger, naturally we continue with a gladiator fight.
We begin with a repeat of Madame Rouge’s scene, with Chief not really caring about what she’s trying to tell him. So much for the idea that he was also in love with her!
Madame Rouge is then recruited by the Doom Patrol to recover Robotman from a glacier. I’m not really sure why Negative Man can’t do it himself.
The mutants are STILL bent on destroying the Earth. No sight of Elasti-Girl.
Premiani is going all disaster movie on this, and it’s genuinely terrifying!
The Doom Patrol easily finds the mutants again, leading of course to a Big Dumb Fight.
Not really sure why the mutant doesn’t just disintegrate Madame Rouge instead of using his… uhm… sound powers?
It can’t be because he doesn’t want to kill her, their plan is to destroy the planet!!!
I’m not entirely sure if doing THIS to her would have killed her, but they could have tried!
Also, SOMEHOW this misses ALL vital parts of Robotman’s body.
I should point out that at this point Madame Rouge has been shipped with all the adult males of the Doom Patrol… except Mento, because even a psycho has taste.
What is worse, the romance or Robotman’s face?
(the latter)
You guys sure have time for this stuff when THE WORLD IS CURRENTLY ENDING.
This is when setting the series in the DC Universe REALLY hurts it, because you can’t possibly expect me to believe that Superman and the Justice League wouldn’t show up!!!
Chief’s plan requires sending different heroes to different mountain ranges.
I don’t remember despising a comic book character SO MUCH in my entire life.
Sure, let’s throw a Yeti into the mix, why not.
Am I the only one who thinks this is painfully unfunny?
Best panel, no notes.
Go home Arnold Drake, you’re CLEARLY drung.
Guys you have SEVENTEEN MINUTES until Armageddon, maybe it’s not the best time to joke around!!!
I do like how the Doom Patrol is sincerely trying to help the mutants… but the mutants aren’t completely wrong in calling them out.
Time four our time-honored game of “guess the stupid ending”, folks!
Who will save Earth from the mutants?
A) Aliens
B) Batman
C) Chief
D) Doctor Death
E) Elasti-Girl
And the answer is…
Alien gladiators.
This is because the alien gladiator wants to recruit the mutants to live on his world.
And the gladiator is quite a powerhouse!
The gladiator is not a mutant, though, he’s one of the slaves.
Which doesn’t really make all that much sense to the mutants.
And FOR SOME REASON this makes one of the mutants love Earth? UH!?
I promise I didn’t skip anything, I showed you their ENTIRE interaction with the gladiator!!!
The mutants sacrifice their lives to save Earth.
Also, what did you vote for “Guess the stupid ending”?.
And we close with Chief having a romantic dinner with Madame Rouge (who is wearing red for possibly the first time)… after convincing the three mutants to kill themselves.
Doom Patrol #117 (1968)
by Arnold Drake & Bruno Premiani
cover by Bob Brown
Guys wait up, the series doesn’t end until #121!
I’m guessing Premiani REALLY wanted to draw a catfight, because it’s the third time we see the Madame Rouge versus Madame Rouge fight.
Speaking of Madame Rouge, Chief is enjoying his date with her when Robotman shows up to robotblock him.
Chief is being even colder than usual, also ignoring Negative Man’s injuries.
Because of the Comics Code, in 1967 you couldn’t show a man and a woman sharing a bed even if they were married. But in my headcanon, Elasti-Girl insisted on it.
Please keep in mind that Mento WAS explicitly told that Elasti-Girl would not leave the Doom Patrol after marrying, and he STILL complains about it every single scene.
Even more depressing: this is not an unrealistic reaction from a man from 1967.
After recapping everyone’s origin… which I guess hasn’t been done in a while…
Elasti-Girl is REALLY pushing the team as being an inspiration for anyone considered a freak by society. Which is a nice sentiment that the Doom Patrol really reflected in its early days, but it’s been out of focus for quite some time at this point.
So both guys leave the team…
…because they hate it when Mom and Dad are fighting.
That’s clearly a tense situation, but SUDDEN BIRD!!!
And then Chief CHOKES AND BEATS THE BIRD TO DEATH.
This is all because of Black Vulture.
Chief is just savage in this issue!!!
Chief manages to protect himself in a panic room…
…which even protects him from BIRD BOMBERS.
Robotman has already changed his mind.
And Negative Man is talking to himself. Good thing he will never have mental health problems ever again.
The two return to fight Black Vulture, and I just noticed that he has rockets ON HIS WRISTS in order to fly.
Meanwhile Elasti-Girl is watching the fight.
While everyone on the street is enjoying a different spectacle.
Oh come on, bats are cheating! STAY ON BRAND!!!
Especially if you have to gather a bat-allion.
*IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMEN*
We have lost the plot. Has anyone seen it?
I assure that this comes COMPLETELY out of nowhere!!!
Don’t do anything racist don’t do anything racist don’t… dammit Elasti-Girl, I was expecting this from anyone but you!!!
Ah well, of course, when you put it like that it makes complete sense that they would be able to ride a dozen horses on the third floor.
I want a divorce.
Doom Patrol #118 (1968)
by Arnold Drake & Bruno Premiani
cover by Bob Brown
Let’s finish this batch with an awesome cover.
We JUST had a story ending with the team accepting Madame Rouge living at the headquarters, but apparently she’s such a slob that the place is filled with clothes and hair pins everywhere.
After recapping her story, Chief decides to call the Brotherhood of Evil to tell them Madame Rouge is not evil anymore.
Good thing there’s no shortage of evil candidates.
I have to disagree, madame. You two don’t seem to have ANY chemistry.
Except in this scene. It’s kind of cute.
Okay this is getting ridiculous. Even without considering that a woman DID live in this house until Elasti-Girl got married… I don’t care how messy Madame Rouge is, she can’t leave THAT much stuff around!!!
The Brain didn’t waste any time finding a replacement.
By turning into a bat, Beast Boy discovers the true villain: whoever thought this is a good design Videx, Master Of Light.
Too bad that he looks like crap, because this isn’t a bad set of powers!
Once the power is restored, Videx The Master Of Light shouldn’t be too hard to find.
Beast Boy was injured by the encounter, and he’s bullied for it.
Once again I have to question how he has a secret identity, since people KNOW he’s adopted by Mento and Elasti-Girl.
Why in the world do we have a panel to explain the spelling on Beast Boy’s almost-girlfriend? She BARELY shows up!
Beast Boy, God’s gift to women according to Beast Boy since 1965.
At long last, the true identity of Videx The Master Of Light is revealed to be… some guy.
Specifically, THE generic origin story for a bad guy… a disgraced professor vowing revenge.
Also really creative giving him a last name that means “light master” in German. I’m sure it took Arnold Drake a full thirty seconds to come up with it.
I can buy that his invisibility serum gives him control over light and electric energy (although the latter is pushing it), but super-strength feels random.
If he can’t prevent electric power from working anywhere in the city, why bother blinding Robotman? Can’t he just shut off his battery?
I mean he basically does it to Negative Man!
A reminder that Chief once defined Negative Man as the most powerful member of the team.
Did Arnold Drake create a villain too powerful to make sense using against the Doom Patrol AGAIN???
It depends on how many giant weapons Chief has around the house gathering dust.
The team bombard Videx The Master Of Light with so many photons that he turns into a giant and loses his powers.
SOMEHOW.
And we close with Beast Boy discovering his greatest adversary yet: cooties!
Historical significance
#115-116: 8/10
#117-118: 0/10
Madame Rouge’s turnabout it the only thing that influences anything.
Silver Age-ness
#115: 6/10
Mutant monsters with random powers!
#116: 10/10
Who are easily tricked by a very, very stupid plot!
#117: 50/10
I have no idea WTF is happening with Black Vulture.
#118: 0/10
That’s one of the most generic origins ever.
Does it stand the test of time?
#115-116: 8/10
Silliness aside, this is ALMOST a return to peak form for the Doom Patrol. Not only it’s an exciting story that keeps the tension high for most of the time, not only it allows Premiani to show some great apocalyptic scenes, but it also returns to what was supposed to be the theme of the series.
Points removed for the idiotic final twist, though.
#117: 0/10
Crap. All characters are suddenly acting stupid, and the less said about Black Vulture the better.
#118: 4/10
A complete waste of a potentially good villain.
Times Robotman has been damaged: 25
Issues when Robotman is never damaged: 20
Interesting letters: the Comics Archeology of 1968.
(no, I’m not going to double check. Even I am not THAT crazy)