Legion of Super-Heroes v4 Annual #3

Legion of Super-Heroes v4 Annual #3 (1992)
cover by Keith Giffen

The cover belongs to the story that acts as a pilot for the upcoming Timber Wolf series, but it’s so overshadowed by the controversial second story that nobody ever mentioned the Timber Wolf story.
Kind of like most Legion fans pretend there never was a Timber Wolf series.

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“Full Moon Fever, Chapter 1”
written by Al Gordon
pencils by Rob Haynes & Ian Montgomery

 Keith Giffen is not mentioned in the credits, but you can’t convince me he didn’t work on this AT LEAST with the breakdowns.

In case you forgot the Quiet Darkness: first of all, I’m jealous.
Second, you might recall that in its ending Timber Wolf was transformed back into his old self… but now he’s getting worse.
Despite that, he’s less depressed than we’ve seen him since… well probably since well before Volume 3 started!

This is exactly the kind of light-hearted camaraderie that team has DESPERATELY needed for what feels like ages!

If I had to guess who gifted those to Brainiac 5, my money is on Dream Girl.

I can’t believe I’m praising Al Gordon’s writing, considering I really didn’t like the Quiet Darkness and basically every single plot decision that has been attributed to him… but honestly, I’m enjoying this rare occasion of 5YL Legionnaires are acting like people.

And I’m also liking his interaction with Kono, who has grown significantly less irritating.
Too bad Timber Wolf might be too delirious to appreciate it.

Something’s wrong with Timber Wolf: his technobabble readings are off the charts!

Don’t sell yourself short, Kent. This is the 5YL thirtieth century, people dying left and right is your thing! Own it!

My exact thoughts about half of the deaths in this period.

The other half:

I hope you enjoyed the resolution of the Quiet Darkness, because Aria shows up.

Timber Wolf is not feeling particularly inspired by her presence.

Considering Al Gordon’s track record, it’s easy to think that the idea that Timber Wolf owes his powers to a drug is a retcon…

…but it’s only KIND OF a retcon.
According to his Adventure Comics 327 origin story, his father DID experiment on him with Zuunium… but it was through science rays, not an injection.

The bigger retcon is the fact that Timber Wolf has ALWAYS been feeling the pain caused by Zuunium his entire superhero life (!!!), and he’s never even told Lightning Lass this.
First Shvaughn Erin keeping her origin a secret to Element Lad, now this… what is it with the 5YL era and all Legion couples keeping MASSIVE secrets from each other!?
Spoiler alert: the second story will ALSO include a big secret kept for decades between a Legion couple.

However, Aria can fix everything the plot demands.

Specifically, she teleports Timber Wolf away. The Legion KNOWS this…

…but in a sequence that I found VERY confusing, Brainiac 5 talks about “interrupting the wake”.
I’m just going to post the whole page that immediately follows the previous panels, can anybody tell me what the heck this is supposed to mean?

The Grid: 11 pages out of 12
0 pages without a grid
1 splash page
no text pages

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“Full Moon Fever, Chapter 2
or: how I used to be an animal but I’m all right now”
written by Al Gordon
pencils by Joe Phillips

If I understood her words correctly… big “if”… Aria was supposed to change history so that Timber Wolf never got his powers.
She ends up bringing both to the 20th century Earth AND give him an atrocious new look.
So much for “the step between man and God”.

As mentioned, this is basically the pilot for the Timber Wolf series.

If that sounds like it’s coming out of nowhere… well it IS for the Legion, but in real-life terms it makes a certain amount of sense.
This is 1992 where Wolverine was REALLY popular, and the Legion has a character that has something in common with what’s popular, even pre-dating him.

In other words, does this remind you of something?
Yes, this is the Karate Kid series all over again!!!

I’ve never actually read the Timber Wolf series: once I get to reviewing it, I will be reading it for the first time.
It’s been described to me as even WORSE than the Karate Kid one, which… doesn’t really inspire a lot of confidence.
It does seem that the TW series will ALSO have him tangle with 20th century authorities.

Well they can’t possibly handle that aspect worse than the Karate Kid series.
Or I would hope so, if I had even the slightest confidence in a 5YL spinoff.

30th century people being harsh on the 20th century is a long-standing Legion tradition, but Timber Wolf is a bit too quick to judge… and hey, at least THE MOON IS NOT EXPLODING, so it can’t be so bad by comparison!!!

“The step between man and God”, everybody. Maybe it was a step backwards.

She even manages to get herself captured when Timber Wolf is out for supplies.

Hey come on, that’s not his worst… uhm… no, I can’t say that with a straight face, this IS the worst Timber Wolf has looked so far.
Yes, his boring Silver Age costume and even his awful Furball designs were MILES better.

Timber Wolf might have been excused from the Legion no-kill rule when he was Furball, but he’s definitely on a murder spree here.

And then this guy shows up to fight Timber Wolf.

And finally we have a text page that explains what happened with Aria.
WHY WASN’T ANY OF THIS SHOWN IN AN ACTUAL SCENE???

The Grid: none!
12 pages without a grid, out of 15
2 splash pages
1 text page

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Legion significance: 0/10
Everything this accomplishes is keep Timber Wolf away from the Legion for some time, but that was already happening!

Silver Age-ness
Chapter One: 2/10
Chapter Two: 8/10
Just some general technobabble in the first part, but the rushed explanation of the text page is VERY Silver Age. In fact, if this was a Silver Age story, I could 100% see that whole explanation being relegated to two panels in the last page.

Depression scale: 0/10
Despite the talk of death in the first part… this was shockingly one of the least depressing parts of this era.

Does it stand the test of time?
Chapter One: 7/10
This one almost worked. As mentioned it REALLY sold the camaraderie and friendship between the Legionnaires! It kind of falls apart once Aria shows up, but honestly… if Timber Wolf died here after those brief scenes, it would have been a far more dignified and classy death than any other 5YL death we have seen so far.
Chapter Two: 1/10
Yeah this is not really convincing me to pay money to buy your book, Timber Wolf. The artwork isn’t bad, but overall this was crap and overall interchangeable with 99% of early 90s slop. Keeping the explanation for how the characters ended up in the 20th century in a text page is particularly insulting.

“The step between man and God”: 3
Al Gordon just loves that sentence.

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“Untitled”
written by Tom & Mary Bierbaum
pencils by Brandon Peterson

We begin the main story acknowledging the birth of the latest addition to the Saturn Girl & Lightning Lad family, their twin daughters Dacey and Doritt.
They’re such minor characters, even compared to the other set of twins, that I don’t think even most Legion superfan remember their names.

They’re informed that Timber Wolf “isn’t going to make it”. This would place this issue taking place before the first one in the book, I guess.

This is a big reunion for the Legionnaires. Lightning Lass shows up (with Shrinking Violet) to meet her nephews and her other brother Lightning Lord.

Rond Vidar is also here, with the daughter he had with Laurel Gand… honestly I keep forgetting that kid exists all.
Plus Night Girl still hasn’t given birth. She was already looking 9 months pregnant at the beginning of Volume 4, so it’s really time to speed things up!

The most unexpected return has to be Proty II.
Given this era’s outright hatred of the silliest part of the Silver Age, you might expect this to just be a cameo… but just wait, the Proteans are just about to become ridiculously important.

The fact that the lightning twins’ planet has next to no taboos about nudity was introduced a while back, but this issue will REALLY hammer the point home.

Remember this moment. It will put the final scene into context.

More people show up the following day. We have Projectra, Colossal Boy and his wife, and Holt.
I have no clue if Holt is supposed to be someone.

Next we have Dream Girl, in her very first Volume 4 appearance… and she really let herself go.

Not because she’s put on some weight, and it’s a bit refreshing that nobody brings it up considering they were kind of jerks to Bouncing Boy in the early Silver Age.
But am I the only one thinking she looks like she’s aged twenty years since the last time we saw her?
Oh and also she ditched Star Boy to get herself a boy toy, because the Bierbaums have a VERY low opinion of Dream Girl.

It’s also a reunion for Saturn Girl’s family, because she hasn’t been able to see her son Garridan for a while. You might recall Garridan used to be Validus and was turned back into a kid during Volume 3.
He’s in this isolation suit to protect the others from the Validus Plague that he unwillingly spread, something that was mentioned EXCLUSIVELY IN THE TEXT PAGES.
So if you were reading just the stories without those text pages, you would have absolutely no context for this.

And I think that’s really detrimental to the story.
Because the moment where Saturn Girl breaks down at the thought of having missed so much of her son’s life AND of the possibility that he might die from the illness is very powerful and well executed!
It is, however, significantly hurt by the fact that WE NEVER SAW ANY OF THAT.

This also brings back the memories of when Lightning Lad was resurrected in the historic Adventure Comics #312… and while she’s never shown ANY emotion at the sacrifice of the original Proty (has she ever even mentioned him ONCE since!?), I’m defending this.
She JUST saw Proty II, so it’s believable the old pain just resurfaced. She WAS friends with the original Proty after all!
But it also takes a new meaning considering the finale… more on that later.

Wait, apparently I was mistaken earlier, this takes place AFTER the Timber Wolf story?

Yes, that’s exactly the case… and yet another reason why I don’t like this incarnation of the Legion.
You just learned that your friend has been sent back in time and you don’t give ANY consideration to the possibility of saving him!? You just jump to considering him dead!?!?
I know this Legion doesn’t have the easy access to time travel of the old days, but COME ON!!!
You’re superheroes, you don’t even CONSIDER helping!?!?

But in more cheerful news, it’s the reunion of the old Proty II and Chameleon Boy team.

You might recall that I wasn’t very fond of I utterly despised Proty II during the Silver Age.
So you might expect me to hate this.
Exactly the opposite: this was funny, charming and wholesome.
So what’s it doing in the depressionfest era?

Dream Girl doesn’t seem to care all that much about her sister White Witch, adding to her unflattering portrayal in this era.
Also, is it just me or her weight REALLY fluctuates between panels and issues?

This is all just an excuse for hanging out at Topless Beach, sure, but notice the discussion about someone looking like Dawnstar.
That won’t be addressed directly for a while, and they’re not even talking about a character that appears in this story.

We can’t possibly have a scene at Topless Beach without finding a way to crap on Sun Boy, who isn’t even here.

Weirdly enough, despite the planet being so clothing casual, the girls are also apparently spying on the guys.
Shadow Lass being here feels a bit weird, but considering she’s from a desert planet it’s not entirely unreasonable she might enjoying sunbathing.
Slightly weirder: Projectra enjoying the topless scene. Didn’t think she’d be the type.
By far the weirdest detail: the only woman in this sc
ene who doesn’t go topless is Dream Girl, who wears a bathing suit that hides her Dream Girls.

Saturn Girl not being fully on board with the planet’s casual nudity is in line with the Bierbaums portraying her as kind of a prude, but it does help her bring back her 70s costume.
Notice her describing the Lightning Lad of the early years as different from the modern one.

In a truly bizarre choice, Star Boy is no longer a superhero but the coach of a baseball team.
Well technically a “batball” team, whatever that is.

Have we lost the plot? I normally like any chance to see the Legionnaires doing off-duty stuff, but to me this really does feel like we’ve lost the plot.

Especially when it’s IMMEDIATELY followed by other Legionnaires commemorating Blok and the other dead members or supporting cast.

We’re barely at the halfway point of the 5YL era, Saturn Girl, so you’ll have to wait a little longer.

It’s more than a little jarring that we have this fun off-duty story while there’s a war going on!!!

I understand this story is set on another planet. But it really does saying something when the Earth is effectively under siege and THE LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES just attends a not-baseball game and doesn’t even CONSIDER going back to Earth to help.
Is this human behavior? Less, absolutely. But frankly I expect more from superheroes, otherwise what’s even the point of HAVING superheroes?

I’m sorry that Phantom Girl is dead (as far as you know), guys, but THERE’S A WAR GOING ON… not to mention the fact that FIVE BILLION PEOPLE ARE DEAD from the Moon explosion (probably even more at this point, given the war and all).
The fact that the dead of a friend upsets them more COULD make for a very powerful moment… “a million deaths is a statistic” and all that… but this falls flat for me because these people have BARELY acknowledged the billions of people who died.

Hey, a rare mention of Sun Boy that doesn’t take the time to tell us what a terrible person he was! In a Bierbaum story, even! That’s new.

And speaking of rare: a Tellus appearance!!! He’s not even named.

Winath must have been founded by American pilgrims, considering you must be 21 to drink.

For a Bierbaum story we haven’t had enough sex shenanigans, so… enjoy either Duo Damsel cheating or her husband…

…or (more likely) Colossal Boy having a fetish for his shapeshifting wife turn into his friends before they bang.

Hey remember how one of the twins used to be Validus? Maybe we should worry about the OTHER guy.

This is a reconciliation of sorts between Shrinking Violet and Colossal Boy’s wife Yera, who you might recall impersonated her for months.
It’s not a bad scene and Yera DID show remorse previously. But this STILL rubs me the wrong way because Yera is afforded by the writers the chance to atone for her actions, while Sun Boy was condemned by eternal suffering for faults created by the same writers.
Yes I am still going on about that.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, we come to the reason why this issue is so infamous.

Starting with Lightning Lad going to talk with the Proteans who arrived on the planet (presumably with Proty II).

Lightning Lass (that’s her despite the miscolored hair) overhears them talking about Kid Quantum. Don’t worry if that name doesn’t ring any bells, because that’s a character we won’t meet until the next Legion review… in a story published two months after this Annual.

This drops THE MOTHER OF ALL DUMB RETCONS: Lightning Lad really DID die back in the Silver Age, and we’ve been following the original Proty ever since.

I have A LOT of thoughts on the subject, but I’ll save them for later.
But I’m wasting no time in calling bulls#it on the idea that Lightning Lass has “always known” that this isn’t her brother.
However consider that Lightning Lass was introduced after Lightning Lad’s death, so if we take the retcon into consideration… she has NEVER shared a scene with her twin brother!!!

We’re also supposed to believe that SATURN GIRL… you know, the most powerful telepath in the Galaxy… never noticed that HER HUSBAND AND FATHER OF THEIR FOUR CHILDREN is actually a shapeshifter pretending to be her boyfriend from her teenage years.

On the positive side, Cosmic Boy’s son is finally born.

And we close off with Lightning Proty… not really telling anything to Saturn Girl.

The Grid: 29 pages out of 29
0 pages without a grid
0 splash pages
0 text pages

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Let’s do the letters first this time. I still find it weird that the Volume 4 annuals have a letters page. I don’t recall other series typically having those.
The idea that Lightning Lad was replaced by Proty, instead of just being resurrected, was a long standing one in the Legion fandom. I would have preferred ANY OTHER OPTION, like this one.

I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking that this series has WAY TOO MANY CHARACTERS.
While I’ve always found that one of the strength of the Legion is its large membership, there is such a thing of too much of a good thing. But more importantly, the problem is that this era keeps introducing NEW characters and plots while barely ever ending the ones that are still running.

Readers are also expressing their frustration on the plots that never end, and between the lines I think you can read that the writers are getting tired as well.

Mick is absolutely right, I didn’t even pick on this one with the other crap going around… but TIMBER WOLF hasn’t even ACKNOWLEDGED Blok’s death!!!

This actually sounds more interesting and creative than anything B.I.O.N. did.

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Legion significance: -5/10
This is linked to the whole Kid Quantum business, which has its own weird legacy… but as this breaks Lightning Lad’s characterization for the previous decades, it warrants a negative score.

Silver Age-ness: 10/10
The only reason it doesn’t get any higher is that this retcon is TOO STUPID FOR THE SILVER AGE.

Depression scale: 5/10
On the positive side, the Legionnaires are having fun and relaxing once again.
On the negative side, this is happening IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR… and between the biggest calamities imaginable.
Oh and the emotional bedrock of the team either never noticed she married and had kids with an impostor OR she noticed and never told his sister.

 Does it stand the test of time? -5/10
Alright, let’s do the positives first. The artwork is great, even if the blatant fanservice is distracting in how blatant it is, and the Legionnaires behave like people.
I still have trouble with the unfortunate implications of them giving zero thoughts to the war or to the enormous tragedies happening to the planet that they used to call home.
But I could overlook that… if it wasn’t for the only thing most people remember from this story.
THE DUMBEST RETCON IN THE HISTORY OF RETCONS.

On a PURELY technical standpoint, this doesn’t invalidate anything from the original story. I can see why this would become a popular fan theory.

But I don’t have to explain why nobody in their right mind would make this canon, right?
We have been following an impostor since 1963.

It gets even worse! The issue where Lighting Lad dies, Adventure Comics #304, is roughly the fourteenth Legion story (it’s a bit fuzzy, depending on whether you count the cameos or not).
That is SO ancient that Hamilton wasn’t even the regular writer yet!!!
We’ve basically ALWAYS been following Proty instead of Lightning Lad!!!

If LL just learned he wasn’t the real one, MAYBE I could have accepted the retcon. But the idea that he’s kept this kind of secret from anyone, including HIS TELEPATH WIFE, is just stupid beyond words!!!

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We are legion
I am considering the original Lightning Lad among the dead Legionnaires and Proty as a separate character.

29 active Legionnaires
3 reserve members
32 resigned members
15 deceased members
79 people have been members62 peo
ple have been rejected