I was initially going to handle the awards in a single session for the entirety of the 5YL era, but I decided to split this up until issue 38 for three reasons, in decreasing order of importance:
1) the two halves are distinct enough to warrant this
2) handling this with a single session would have included too many issues
3) there are a lot of stories here that I never want to revisit ever again
When it comes to this first half as a whole:
Legion significance: 6/10
Several creative choices taken in this period still haunt the Legion, for better or worse depending on your opinion. But it’s really telling that future incarnations never really try to bring back too much stuff from this period.
Silver Age-ness: 0/10
If anything, this era is the antithesis of the Silver Age. In fact, I introduced a whole new category just for this.
Depression scale: 10/10
There are bright spots here and there, sure. But overall it’s a dour, uncaring universe where heroes very often fail and there’s constant death everywhere. ESPECIALLY on Earth!!!
Does it stand the test of time? 2/10
You’re probably used to me being very harsh at this point. I can appreciate some of the stuff the writers were TRYING to do, but I don’t think it accomplished much. In fact, every time they make a step forward, the writers seem to shoot themselves in the foot before they can make the next.
Plots that either don’t go anywhere or take forever, unnecessary tangents, characters shoved into unrecognizable positions, bad artwork, THE GRID, pointless retcons… there’s too much stuff that I find confusing, rushed, mean-spirited and joyless.
This series is often incredibly ashamed of being a superhero book, it has undertones of thinking that fans of classic superheroes are dumb, and it plays favorites with characters to an almost shameful degree.
I often hear fans of this era complain that if only Giffen and the Bierbaums were left alone they could have achieved more… Giffen in particular mentioned that this was the only story he regretted not being able to finish his own way.
I disagree. In fact, I believe most of the problems of this era come from them being given too much power without enough oversight. Sometimes there IS such a thing as giving too much creative liberty, ESPECIALLY if you’re working on a decades long franchise.
This book desperately needed three things that would have made it infinitely better:
1) A consistent editor to at least try to restrain Giffen’s worst excesses
2) Keep the Bierbaums on dialogues instead of allowing them to write their own fanfiction
3) Al Gordon should not have been allowed to write. Anything.
This wouldn’t have solved all my issues with this era… for one, The Grid would still have been there… but it certainly would have helped.
Now don’t get me wrong, the editors still managed to screw up the series… that’s a given for the Legion at this point… but I don’t think it’s enough of an excuse.
The editorially mandated retcons happen VERY early in the run, the writers had PLENTY of time to correct course. Unfortunately, as far as I’m concerned, they correct it by jumping down a canyon.
That rant was an unnecessarily long ramble… what else is new, I know… so let’s jump straight into the Legion Awards.
Buckle up…
BEST LEGIONNAIRE
Winner: Matter-Eater Lad
No surprises here, considering he might be the only one who gets an improvement thanks to this era. Although not as much as I remembered, because while his initial return is AWESOME, the Evillo plot wasn’t as good as I recalled.
Runner-up: Mon-El
Entirely thanks to the flashbacks to his 20th century adventures that we see in the Legion books, because both his cameos and his personal series are unbelievably bland.
But the annual sold me his role as the Superboy replacement better than anything else.
Third place: Element Lad and SW6 Element Lad, tied
As bad as the Shvaughn retcon was, at least it gave Element Lad some level of personal involvement. And his counterpart is almost the only Legionnaire being emotionally affected by the war.
I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel here, folks, I disliked nearly every character but I had to give to award to SOMEONE.
Honorable mention: Invisible Kid II
He’s not even an active Legion member, but he truly shapes up as both the leader of the Substitute Commandos and as the President of Earth.
WORST LEGIONNAIRE
Winner: Sun Boy
A literal character assassination. He’s stripped of ANY redeeming quality, turned into a near psychopath, and given a fate worse than death that even irredeemable monsters don’t often receive.
Seriously, did a guy looking like Sun Boy shoot the Bierbaums’s dog or something!?
Runner-up: Dream Girl
A metaphorical character assassination. Just a terrible, terrible interpretation of the character.
Third place: Timber Wolf
Just when you thought Furball was the worst possible use of the character, they throw the miniseries at you.
Dishonorable mention: Proty
Spent YEARS living Lightning Lad’s life and never told anything to his wife or his friends. Great Legion material there.
PARTICIPATION TROPHIES
“You were the chosen one” Trophy: Cosmic Boy and Chameleon Boy
The new series begins by positioning them as the rock (pun intended) for recreating the Legion.
But outside of the very first issues, they fade into the background and don’t actually accomplish much… heck Cosmic Boy seems to spend the majority of their time arguing for the Legion to NOT intervene!!!
“You’re trying too much” Trophy: Ultra Boy
The series is trying waaaaaay to much to hype him. It’s so ridiculous that I can’t appreciate his good moments.
“I used to be relevant” Trophy: Shrinking Violet
You’d think that spending that much time on her involvement in the pre-gap war would make her important in the overarching Dominator story. She gets lost in the shuffle.
“I went through character assassination and all I got is this” Trophy: White Witch
While it doesn’t excuse her treatment, her fight to get back her confidence was compelling.
MOST IMPROVED LEGIONNAIRE
Winner: Fire Lad and Chlorophyll Kid, tied
They’re basically completely new characters with nothing in common with what we knew about them, with the exception of the powers and the name (which they don’t even use).
Runner-up: Infectious Lass
Unlike the previous two Subs she doesn’t do as much, but at least she’s still recognizable.
Third place: Color Kid
Good creative use of his powers at least.
Honorable mention: Stone Boy
He’s there, not doing much. Which is fitting for Stone Boy I suppose, but I can believe THIS version made it into the Legion for legitimate reasons.
BEST NEW LEGIONNAIRE
Winner: Kono
She can be more than a little annoying at first, but at least she has a personality and unique interactions with other characters.
Runner-up: Laurel Gand
I’m not entirely sold on her, but she’s fun to have around most of the time.
Third place: Kent Shakespeare
I wanted to like the guy. But he has no distinct personality, boring powers and he’s just there in the background most of the time.
Honorable mention: the entire SW6 batch
Most of them don’t do ANYTHING, but holy crap are they a breath of fresh air as a whole.
WORST NEW LEGIONNAIRE
Winner: Reflecto
WHY ARE WE STILL BRINGING HIM BACK???
Runner-up: Celeste Rockfish
Still no idea what she’s doing in this book, plus it takes her FOREVER to actually do anything.
Third place: Kid Quantum
A potentially interesting idea that doesn’t go anywhere and isn’t explored.
BEST ALMOST LEGIONNAIRE: Devlin O’Ryan
I don’t think he’s a member yet. He took forever to become a character, but ended up being so charming that I don’t mind seeing him.
WORST ALMOST LEGIONNAIRE: Sade
I can’t believe her membership is even suggested at one point.
MOST FANSERVICE LEGIONNAIRE: Every. Single. One.
Seriously, at some point everyone gets naked or topless.
BEST VILLAIN
Winner: the Dominators
They were already great villains in the previous eras, but this elevates them to the status of nemesis of not just the Legion, but to the entire 30th century. While they’re completely and irredeemably evil, we see enough of their twisted society to make them compelling villains.
Runner-up: the Khund
Their sheer brutality is definitely not sugarcoated, and their fight with the Legion is one of the best parts of this era.
Third place: Prince Evillo
The storyline involving him is not as good as I remember it, but it’s not like he has much competition in this era.
Honorable mention: Sun Boy’s father
In an era full of entire societies of complete monsters, he somehow manages to be the most despicable character of them all.
WORST VILLAIN
Winner: Dev-Em
He was almost left out of the podium until the last minute… because I completely forgot about him. Considering his role in the destruction of the Moon, the fact that he’s THAT forgettable is a sin on its own. But he’s also completely one-dimensional, comes out of absolutely NOWHERE, and if it wasn’t for Sun Boy he would be the worst character assassination of the series.
Runner-up: Glorith
The hype is too much and unwarranted. The series tries to make her a combination of the Time Trapper, Mordru and Emerald Empress, but fails spectacularly in every aspect.
Third place: Roxxas
Take the worst excesses of the worst written Joker, take away any personality, use the name of a completely different character, and if that’s not enough overuse him.
The only reason he’s lower than Dev-Em is that at the very least I remembered him, and he has ONE good gag.
Dishonorable mention: Mordru
He continues to be the greatest disappointment of the retrospective as a whole. The one time he actually conquers the universe A) it’s not even on his own because he needed Mon-El to take out Time Trapper first B) he loses everything while asleep C) gets easily fooled by Ultra-Boy wearing a simple disguise.
BEST STORY
Winner: LSHv4 #11
This was amazing and I would read the hell out of a regular series following Matter-Eater Lad playing a screwball layer. Too bad his following M.E.L. appearances in this batch are not anywhere near the same level.
Runner-up: “The unique properties of Condo Arlik”, Secret Origins #47
I still believe this story is the only reason why anyone still cares about Chemical King.
Third place: LSHv4 #15 to #18
One of the few times where the Legion actually FELT like the Legion.
Honorable mention: LSHv4 Annual #2
Nothing else in this batch sold me the idea of Mon-El being one of the greatest heroes of all time. This one did.
MOST INFLUENTIAL STORY
Winner: LSHv4 #4
Literally everything that happens afterwards… and that includes the next reboot… could not have happened without Mon-El killing the Time Trapper.
Runner-up: LSHv4 #19
Nearly everything that goes wrong in-universe can be traced back to the destruction of the Moon and the detonation of the PowerSpheres.
Third place: LSHv4 Annual #2
The new origin for why there are so many planets where everyone has superpowers sticks into the next retcon. Possibly more, if you can keep track.
Honorable mention: LSHv4 #33
The Kid Quantum retcon comes out of nowhere and stays nowhere in this era, but it has a surprising influence on the reboot. And it comes MOSTLY from the text pages!!!
WORST STORY
Winner: LSHv4 #36
It completely broke the “stand the test of time” category for a reason. It starts by focusing on characters we don’t care about and proceeds with a nasty fate for both Sun Boy and Circe. This story also very nearly broke my will to continue covering this era; only the knowledge of the shift following #38 and my stubbornness make me stick to it.
Runner-up: LSHv4 #21-24
The Quiet Darkness is one of the most boring, badly thought, badly written and badly penciled sagas I’ve ever read.
Third place: LSHv4 Annual #1
A mess of unnecessary and confusing retcons made worse by the frankly embarrassing attempt to hype Ultra Boy. Mon-El said it best:
Dishonorable mention: Timber Wolf #1-5
This is an objectively worse story than the others, in all aspects except the artwork (which is bad, but I’d still take it over Giffen’s Grid any day). The only reason this is not the winner is that it would feel like a copout to give the award to a spin-off.
WORST RETCON
Winner: Lightning Lad is Proty
A bad idea from the worst kind of fanfiction that should never have been allowed and that invalidates so much of Lightning Lad’s character development.
Runner-up: Shvaughn is Sean
Loads of unfortunate implications, it’s lower only because I’m giving the benefit of the doubt that MOST of them are involuntary and because it doesn’t impact the series all that much.
Third place: R.J.Brande is the L.E.G.I.O.N. Durlan
A convoluted mess that ultimately doesn’t mean anything.
Dishonorable mention: Mon-El had the ghost of his descendant in his head
I’m still not making any sense of this.
BEST RETCON
Winner: most powered planets descend from Dominator prisoners
Retcons have a bad reputation for a reason, but they can be a good thing. This one gives a connection to the 20th century that is not intrusive, puts into context the existing worldbuilding without invalidating much, and it simultaneously makes the world more cohesive without making it too small. Credit where it’s due, this was the right call.
Runner-up: uhm…
Third place: maybe it’s… let’s see…
Dishonorable mention: I give up
WORST PLANET WHERE TO LIVE
Winner: Earth
Five years ago the economy and the government collapsed, with the planet becoming a puppet of a nasty alien dictatorship. Then in the span of a few months the Moon explodes creating a nuclear winter, many major cities explode in a nuclear disaster, a civil war breaks out, dissidents are shot from orbit, the President is shot on live TV, underground tunnels detonate destroying more cities, the planet needs to be evacuated but only 94 cities make it.
And if that wasn’t enough… SEVEN BILLION PEOPLE DIE IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS and the rest of the Galaxy doesn’t give a crap, despite Earth’s former prominence.
Runner-up: Earth in the Mordruverse
Yes it’s a nightmare world where an all-powerful wizard controls reality, but at least the planet is not constantly on the brink of collapse.
Third place: Tartarus
It’s almost literally Hell. Still way better than Earth at this point.
MOST SILVER AGE PANEL
This technology feels like it’s straight out of the Silver Age.
MOST MEME-WORTHY PANEL
BEST ALIEN DESIGN
BEST REACTION SHOT
WORST REACTION SHOT
MOST FANSERVICE PANEL
Depending on your taste, it’s one of those two.
BEST PANEL
Best Giffen panel of the era?
Nah, I’m kidding. No matter how much the destruction of the Moon is narratively squandered, some of the destruction porn is gorgeously detailed.
WORST PANEL
I hate everything this panel represents with the power of a billion PowerSpheres exploding.
MOST DEPRESSING PANEL
BEST DOUBLE PAGE SPLASH
BEST SPLASH PAGE
WORST SPLASH PAGE
BEST COVER
This was a tough one, because there are a couple of good covers. But this one sells the feeling better than the rest.
WORST COVER
If the story was a spoof of romance comics, like the cover is, it would have been a stroke of genius. But it’s jarring by just how disconnected it is from the story, to the point of almost being false advertisement.
Dishonorable mention
Every single Timber Wolf cover sucks. But the first one is particularly bad.
WORST NEW COSTUME
Winner: Timber Wolf
It’s the least of his problems, but that is a spectacularly crappy design.
Runner- up: Laurel Gand
Yes this is the first look she has, but thanks to the retcons it’s not her original costume so I’m counting it.
Third place: Cosmic Boy
I shouldn’t constantly mistake him for the Punisher.
Dishonorable mention: Lobo
What a fraggin’ disaster.
BEST NEW COSTUME
And that’s it for now! The second half of this era will gets its own awards once I’m through with it.
That’s also when I will analyze the use of The Grid… luckily for me I kept track of that during the reviews, which means this might really have been the last time I had to look at these comics.
The decision to replace costumes with, in most cases, ordinary clothing deserves some sort of dishonorable mention. It had an annoying side-effect on the dialog, where characters had to address one another by name so we could tell who they were. Of course, that wasn’t helped by the artwork in some issues, where their faces weren’t distinguishable either.